Friday, November 5, 2010

Days 4 and 5: Something I have to forgive someone for and Something I hope to do in my life

Well...of course, I didn't get a chance to post yesterday.  Thursdays I go to work and then the rest of my evening is usually kind of crazy.  Last night, Nate decided to wake up crying and whining about his ears.  He was coughing and telling me he was going to be sick, too.  So...I didn't get online at all.  It happens.

I did think about what I was going to write about yesterday, though.  I had it all planned out when I was taking my shower at 7 am.

Day 4: Something I have to forgive someone for - I kept thinking about the fact that I don't hold grudges.  Life is too short for that.  That isn't to say that there aren't people I don't like or that there aren't people who I avoid as much as possible or that people don't sometimes piss me off. However, I don't mull over things and make myself crazy about their decisions anymore.  I only worry about the things I can control.

A lot of this started with the person I need to forgive for something.  A lot of it started when my grandfather decided he wasn't coming to my wedding.  The funny thing is, I wasn't all that upset he wasn't going to be there.  I really felt that the most important part of the day was that I was going to marry an amazing and loving man - and that was going to happen if my grandfather was there or not.  You know what bothered me about him not showing up at my wedding?  What bothered me about him telling all of us he wasn't coming and telling us why and making a big huge deal out of it like a 4 year-old throwing a tantrum?  It really wasn't that he didn't come, I didn't care...it was that it upset my father so much.  I have always been that way, though...in fact, I am still that way.  I can handle people upsetting me.  I can get over that.  I can't get over people hurting the ones I love.  Come to think of it, every one I really don't like has done something to someone I care about.

Now, I have seen my grandfather.  I have given him hugs and he has held all of my children.  I have celebrated holidays with him and invited him to parties for the kids that he actually has shown up at.  I love my grandfather...but I've never quite forgiven him for hurting my father like that.  He's hurt other people I love, too - but I try to stay out of those things if I can.  I guess the wedding thing bothers me so much because he used a wonderful event in MY life to be bullheaded and stubborn and hurt people I care about.  A lot of people tried to get him to change his mind.  His loss - I know...and I need to just forgive him and get over it.

Now...Day 5: Something I hope to do in my life - I hope to write a book someday.  It's not possible right now.  I just don't have the time to dedicate to it with all the other things I do raising my 4 kiddos.  I don't even know what kind of book I would like to write.  I always thought I would want to write a children's series...I love children's books.  I am sure I could also find enough material to write a parenting book!  hehehe  It doesn't even really matter to me if it is a best seller - but I would love to see my words in a book in Borders!  :)