Perfecting Imperfection

Dadone, me, Nate and Dad @ Nate's Baptism

Friday night my grandfather passed away.  It was 9 o'clock . . . about an hour after I left the hospital.  My Mom and Dad and Aunt Anita were with him when he went and they said it was very peaceful.  I'm grateful that they were there and that he didn't struggle or suffer.  I also very grateful that I was able to spend some time with him Thursday night - even though he couldn't talk, we held hands (he squeezed my hand tight) he looked at me and I knew that he knew I was there and that he loved me and he knew I loved him, too.

My grandfather and I had a good relationship.  It wasn't always great and I will admit that the last few months I didn't make the effort I should have to spend time with him.  Of course, I regret that now.  However, my grandfather knew that having 4 kids kept me very busy and I did ask about him, talk to him on the phone a few times and think about him often.

When my children are being stubborn, I blame it on my grandfather.  Funny, I know, but he was one of the most stubborn individuals I've ever met.  When he made a decision it was set in stone and no one would ever be able to talk him out of it.  I don't ever remember a story where someone said that my grandfather admitted or knew he was wrong...I'm pretty sure in his eyes he was always right and the rest of us, who sometimes thought otherwise, just didn't know what we were talking about.  There was no real compromising with my grandfather.  It was his way or the highway and a lot of times people I love a great deal were hurt because of this, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally.

I know it hurt me when he decided not to attend my wedding but I also knew that's the way he was and there was no talking him into coming once he had made that decision.  All that was left for me (and my family) to do was to accept it.  He never meant to hurt me personally with his decision, though, and I got over it (or at the very least didn't let it ruin one of the best days of my life).  He did send me some silk sheets and a bottle of champagne to celebrate, though...completely different than the wedding gift he game my dad.  He obviously wanted his granddaughter to have great-grandchildren  for him a lot sooner than he had wanted his son to have his grandchildren.  :)  (okay, I won't leave you guessing . . . he gave my dad a GROSS of condoms - not a pack . . . an entire gross - that's 144 total - for his wedding present.)

Dadone, me, Danika and Dad @ Danika's baptism

My grandfather had a very big heart - sometimes bigger than it should be - when it came to his friends and he gave to so many people.  He loved my kids and always smiled when they were around.  He loved to joke around with them and share stories of when he was younger.  He always had a story to tell.  He knew so much about cooking and food that I knew exactly who to ask about the differences in this spice or that and what I could substitute if I wanted something different than what a recipe called for.  Dinners with him at the table were almost like cooking lessons.  He loved good food and everything had a special name with him.  For example, sauerkraut was German Spaghetti and my favorite macaroni salad that he made (it had dill in it) was called Russian Macaroni Salad.

When I was younger, I thought my grandfather was invincible.  He was so strong, big and full of life.  When I saw him Friday, I couldn't help but become overwhelmed thinking about what he looked like lying in his hospital bed.  The difference years make . . . it's hard to accept.

The next few days are going to really stink...I hate funerals (okay, I know I'd be very hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't hate them) and funerals where I will see so many people I love upset are even worse.  I am definitely in that stage where I know what happened and what is coming but it hasn't REALLY sunk in yet.  I've been through this enough times, though, to know that at some point in the next 3 days it will hit me like a ton of bricks and I will have my breakdown.  Then . . . it will happen a few weeks later (probably at Easter because my grandfather always shared a special Easter Saturday brunch with us) and then it will happen again . . . as much as I hated the book The Year of Magical Thinking, I will say that the first year without someone is it's own special journey.


I would greatly appreciate prayers for my family (especially my father, aunt and uncle) as we get ready to bury our patriarch.  It is going to be very emotional and probably even a little bit stressful as we go down memory lane with each other and ultimately say goodbye to a man who is responsible (in one way or another) for giving us each other.

Dadone,

Thank you for giving me my wonderful family.  Thank you for always having a smile for me and my children and for loving us the best way you knew how.  We love you and will miss you dearly.

Love, your eldest grandchild,
Janene

Miss me?  You should come visit over at More Than Mommies!  I've been focusing a lot on my new blog and kind of ignoring this one here . . . I kinda figured that would happen but I'm not ready to give up on Perfecting Imperfection quite yet.  I love sharing More Than Mommies with Christine, it makes me feel like we are offering more and reaching more people because we sharing the work load, but I also don't want to abandon the space that is all mine on the world wide web!

So . . . here's a quick list to get you up to date on what's been going on around here:

1) Spring is coming!  This year Jerry and I invested in a Zoo Membership and we (at least I) can't wait to use it as much as possible!  I actually already took the kids once - the day I bought it!!!

2) We are still looking to sell our house:




3)  We are still searching for the perfect house to move our growing family into . . . we are totally at our limit here.  We need a bigger space ASAP!  We did find one we liked (or loved but I keep telling myself it wasn't love) but because we would have had to sell this place first we decided to pass on their counter offer.  They wanted to keep their house listed as Active instead of Contingent and I was too afraid that I would get my heart set on it and someone else would get it first.

4) I have 2, two year olds...it stinks.  It's insane and my gray hair is showing BIG time!

5) Danika will be registering for Kindergarten soon!!!  KINDERGARTEN!!!  Ack!

I'm sure that there is more that I could share but for right now the 2 year olds won't be ignored!

Have a great Monday!

Okay - so . . . I've been blogging for a while now.  I have been on Facebook for a few years.  I started tweeting on Twitter a lot more than I use to and I am now 1/2 of a NEW blogging adventure, More Than Mommies, with my friend, Christine.

So how is it that I didn't mention Nate losing his first tooth on ANY of those social media outlets?

The answer is simple . . . it happened on a Thursday when I had to work all day and then go back for Open House in the evening.  By the time I got home, it was bedtime and the tooth fairy was on her way.

The next morning, well . . . I forgot!

I forgot a big, huge momentous occasion like my firstborn son losing his very first baby tooth!  It's not like I didn't know it was coming.  It had been loose for WEEKS!  Apparently, some kid told him that if he punched him in the face his tooth would fall out.  So, the kid punched Nate in the face (I heard it was more of a tap on the chin than an actual punch in the face) and his tooth fell out.  Nate said he was so excited about his tooth falling out he didn't even tell Mr. D, his teacher, that he got punched in the face!

Here's the picture I took of him (only about 4 days later) with a big toothy (and toothless) grin -

Did you ever notice that when things start to change around you then other things follow suit and before you know it everything seems to be changing and different?

No?

Okay, maybe it's just me then but lately, there have been a ton of things changing and going on around here.

First of all, we found a house that we absolutely LOVED . . . we went as far as getting pre-approved and getting ready to draw up the papers to make our offer when we were told that someone else beat us to it. I cried - because I really did think it was the perfect house for us. Then I had a glass of Pink Zinfandel and got over it . . . kinda.  I knew going into it that I shouldn't get my hopes up too much but I was really excited about this one.

There are a few other things going on (no, I'm not pregnant) that I can't get too much into on the blog - nothing major, nothing bad, just some changes . . . and to top it all off, I've started a new "project" with my friend, Christine!

I'm really excited about it and I hope that you will all come and check it out - subscribe, friend us, find us on FB or Twitter - so that you can tell us what you think!
I'll still be blogging here at Perfecting Imperfection - but these blogs will be more like journal entries while the More Than Mommies posts will be about all kinds of things that I find interesting enough to talk about and share.  You should follow it just to read the stuff Christine writes, too - she's pretty awesome!

Hope you all had a fantastic Valentine's Day - mine was a roller coaster because Jerry got me just what I wanted but then we found out we weren't going to get the house we loved.  He did find a few other ones to look at already, though!  :)

Stop by the other blog and stick around here - I have a feeling I'm going to be writing a lot more about the adventures that are going to be coming my way!

Hoping to have another exciting (but not too exciting) weekend full of lots of laughter and smiles!

It really doesn't get any better than this.

My kids and I were hanging outside in the snow today . . . I was hanging a little differently than they were, thanks to a few too many "adult" gummy bears and Chocolate Cokes made with Chocolate Vodka and Coke.

They wanted to go outside.  We finally had enough snow that they could actually play in it.

They begged and I took an Advil.

They pleaded and I drank a glass of water.

They cried and I gave in,  put layers of clothes on them and boots, and went out with my camera.

I'm glad we went out for the hour or so we were out there.  I am glad that they had fun and I got some good pictures (and some much needed fresh air).  I'm especially glad that I wasn't "mean, hungover mama" and I got my butt moving...

Now they are back to playing Xbox and watching Nick Jr.  I am back to hydrating, although I'm feeling pretty good now...must've been the fresh air!

You may remember that I was REALLY excited last year about stumbling across and ordering my Project Life kit.  I can't find the post . . . but trust me, I was EXCITED!!!  I did awesome the first 3 months.  I took pictures, printed pictures and wrote out little journal entries for 3 months!  Then . . . I got busy and I got overwhelmed because I got behind and I kept putting it off and putting it off.

As of right now, my 2011 Project Life is a pretty cool album/scrapbook that is about 1/2 done.  I have a lot of pictures filled in (thanks to Snapfish for having their penny prints!) but not a lot of the journal cards done and I still have to fill some pictures in here and there.  I will finish it when I have time but I have a feeling that isn't going to be anytime soon.

I decided to go a different route for 2012.  I'm doing the Digital Project Life over at Shutterfly.  I'm thinking it will be a better fit for me because I can do it on the computer and don't have to drag a bunch of stuff out and then put a bunch of stuff back to get any work done on it.

Personally, I would much rather have a more tactile, unique album that is filled with ticket stubs, programs, receipts and such . . . but being practical, this is the easiest and best fit for me RIGHT NOW and I would rather have my memories preserved and the stories remembered than an unfinished product and a box of misc. memorabilia piling up.  I think I may just opt for taking pictures of those special things and then *gasp* throw them away!!!

I picked the Turquoise Edition . . . because I like brown and green.  I have the first week and a half done - and we aren't even a week and a half into January yet!!!!

Just thought I'd share - and here are some of the pictures that found their way into the first few pages:

I'm planning on having a FABULOUS New Year.  I'm not setting my expectations too high but I am hoping that we will have some big changes this year.  What I'd REALLY like to do this year is move out of this house. It's too small.  We've just outgrown it.  I'm praying hardcore about that one.

Speaking of praying, my only New Year's resolution is that I'm going to go back to church.  I am going to make it a regular thing (like it SHOULD be for us Catholics) and I'm going to make sure that my kids know it is a priority.  We made a lot of excuses the past 2 years about why we couldn't make it to church on Sundays.  The twins were the biggest excuse.  Now, I've talked to my MIL and she agreed to come and watch the boys for us Sunday mornings so that we can take Nate and Danika to church.  We went on Christmas and made it last weekend (we went Saturday night because we knew that Sunday morning would be a stretch).  I have to admit that it felt good.  I'm excited about it . . . for all of the reasons I should be but also because it means that I will be able to sit in peace and not have to worry about why a baby is crying for at least an hour.  I know that sounds a little selfish and probably not the reason I should want to go to church but hey . . . I'm being honest.  :)

I also started reading my In One Year Bible. . . don't worry, I'm not going to break into a sermon or start preaching on my blog.  It's just something that I want to be able to say that I did.  I want to be able to say that I read the bible...the whole thing.  We'll see if I can do it.  I've actually had the bible for about 2 years but happened to think of it on New Year's Day and thought that I would break it out and give it a shot.

Other than that . . . I don't really have any big plans for this year.

Moving is a priority.  So, that will be something that I really work towards.

I'm not dieting.  Not that I couldn't use a kick in the butt when it comes to my food choices but I don't have the time to put the amount of energy into it that needs to be put into it to do it right.

I'm planning on still doing my once a month cooking this year, though.  So, you can expect to hear things about that.  I'm also thinking I would like to be a little more creative in the kitchen.  Now that I have my immersion blender and Kitchen Aid mixer!

I'm also planning on trying to be a little bit more positive and focusing on what I have and not what I want.  I have a feeling if I can pull that one off I will be one of the happiest people in the world!