I looked into how to get my kiddos to start acting the way I want them to act today.  Of course, I don't have unrealistic expectations that I'm going to have 4 perfect children.  What family have you ever heard of that has 4 perfect children?  Even the Brady Bunch had Jan . . . and in the movie she was positively creepy.

I do know that I am going to have to get a little bit more organized and active with my children if I'm going to get them to where I want them, though.  I'm guessing by what I read today that this is going to be a long search.  I'm not going to find the perfect thing to change my crazy kids the very first day that I try.  Instead, I'm going to have to really research to find something that fits our family and our current situation.

Like I said, I'm aiming for the beginning of January to really start something - so I have the time to prep and research.

I think the first thing that I need to do is really think about what it is that I want my children to do differently.  Just saying, "I want them to stop driving me crazy" isn't going to cut it.  So, Baby Step #1 is going to be coming up with some goals that I want to achieve...then I will have to look into the best way to achieve them.

I found this article on 15 Secrets of Happy Families

Here are 3 that I'm going to start trying to incorporate right away:

Break Bread Together -We tried this in the past and it was disastrous.  The babies just don't seem to want to eat in the dining room with the rest of us...know why?  Because I haven't made a point to make them...I think this is going to change in the upcoming weeks.

Build and Honor Rituals - we have a lot of things that we do . . . but none on a regular basis or with any kind of schedule.  I think I'm going to come up with a few things that we do a few times a week just to help us develop rituals we have as a family...and then those will become priorities - above anything else that may come up and try to get in the way.

Encourage Sibling Harmony - I think this is something I'm going to start doing now . . . really stressing how lucky they are to have each other.  It isn't always easy for them to see.  When Dean and David wreck a Lego masterpiece that Nate had been working on, I practically see the steam coming out of his ears.  Luckily, he doesn't go after the babies because he knows they are babies.  I have to work on somehow getting him to realize that he is lucky to have a baby brother (or 2) who will do that and annoy him.  :)

Okay - that's enough to think about tonight!  More tomorrow!  :)

The past few days have been rough.  Even with me being gone all day Sunday, I feel like I've been listening to whining, crying, cranky kids WAY too much lately.

I need some help.

I'm planning on scouring the internet tomorrow for some sort of reward/behavior program that is REALLY easy to use but REALLY effective.  The thing is . . . I need something that is going to be easy for me to keep up with.  We tried this really neat chart thing with jobs that the kids had to do every day and then they got tokens for the jobs and then they could trade the tokens in for some sort of a reward. . . it lasted about 3 days before they could care less and things were too crazy for me to be able to keep them on track.  It's important that you remember I currently have 2 two year olds in the house.  They wreak havoc every chance they get - at least from the time they wake up until they are back asleep.

I have decided that the only solution for tonight's dilemma of too much whining is to add a little wine to the mix and call it a night . . . I'm hoping to find something inspirational online tomorrow to help with my lack of structure, whining children (ages soon to be 6 and almost 5) and always throwing a tantrum 2 year olds.

Any help would be GREATLY appreciated but I totally understand if you just want to grab a glass and laugh at me from your comfy/quiet computer screen.  :)

Jerry and I talked a lot about having a third baby before we were surprised with a pregnancy that gave us #3 and #4!  One of the things we talked about was pushing our luck.  We were worried that having more babies would be pushing our luck because the two we had were (and still are) healthy and happy.  They were, for the most part, pretty easy babies and we had them right where we wanted them before I became pregnant again.  Of course, I now know that having them right where you want them only lasts for a very short period of time anyway - so, enjoy it when it happens!

The more I think about the fact that we even considered that we were pushing our luck by having more babies, the more I feel kind of selfish.  However, I totally think that pregnancy #3 gave us the one we are going to have trouble with!

I gave the boys a bath tonight.  They were both kind of stinky and we had just had ice cream which found its way into their hair and behind their ears . . . so into the bath they went.  It was my initial plan to simply throw 'em in and scrub 'em up and get 'em out.  They had other plans, though.

I thought about grabbing the camera before I headed upstairs.  I also thought about grabbing my cell phone (which has a camera) but I figured I would probably be too busy keeping both of their heads above the water and making sure no one tried climbing out of the tub to take pictures.  They were in the mood to play, though.  They sat facing each other in the tub and Dean would back the whole way up to the back of the tub and kick his feet so he slid down and splashed David who laughed hysterically the whole time.  Then David would splash Dean before he made his way to the back of the tub again.  This went on for a good 4 or 5 minutes.  The whole time I kept thinking that I should run and grab the Flip or the DSLR or even my cell phone.

Then, I made a conscious decision to just enjoy the moment and REMEMBER it instead of worrying about capturing it.  I LOVE my pictures and my videos.  I know that I will appreciate them even more when my kids are older.  I try to take pictures of them every day.  I have some great pictures of Dean eating mashed potatoes today that I will have to share with you soon.  However, I really feel that my constant desire to capture every moment sometimes takes me away from enjoying it.  So, I decided there would be other bath times for me to capture and I would just watch...which I did...I watched as David continued to laugh so hard that the ice cream he ate came spewing out of his mouth and made Dean look like a frosted cupcake.

I should have grabbed the camera because then I could have been thinking about how I was going to win $10,000.00 on AFV while I emptied the tub, cleaned it out and gave the boys a second bath...

I love my life!  (I'm serious - as much as that was a pain in the butt - I couldn't help but laugh at the same time!)

As much as I love looking at other people's meal plans, I just am not that excited about sharing mine lately.  It's not that I don't have it planned...it's just that I have other things I want to talk about!

This weekend was a pretty good one - other than me being sick and spending most of yesterday upstairs in bed or in the bathroom.  TMI?  Sorry.  I'm finally feeling better today but yesterday was awful.

So, if I was so sick why would I say that this weekend was a good one?  Well...because I got to look at these faces -


I was so proud of him!  I was nervous that he was going to act like he does when I cut his hair at home but Nunnu said he was perfect!  He also took him to Sonic for lunch and to Sam's Club.  Nunnu said he was really well behaved and Nate said he had a great time.  He even said to me the next day, "Mommy, I think Nunnu liked hanging out with me yesterday because I really liked hanging out with him."  *sigh*  I want to freeze time and hold on to this sweetness.

I woke up at 7:15 this morning with a blog post forming in my head.  I was going to tell you, in some witty way, about all the emotions that I experienced yesterday – it was a roller coaster kind of day.  Since it is now two hours later, dear internet, and you have sucked up my entire morning, I will have to just do the quick rendition of the whole thing.

I had a lump in my throat for about an hour and a half yesterday – I guess it wasn’t an hour and a half solid, but it was on and off for that long.  You see…yesterday was Nate’s last “regular” day of 3-year-old preschool.  This had me choked up for a few reasons…but it all comes back to the fact that my kids are getting bigger – they are growing up.  I was Nate’s teacher this year – although if you ask him he will probably name every other person who had anything to do with preschool this year…the wonderful women that are aids in the classroom (He LOVES his Mrs. Henry and Mrs. Schwartz!) or the subs that have been in the room at various times (He always talks about Mrs. Merrick and the things she would like when we see them – for example, when we were reading a book from the library the other day he said, “Mommy, I bet Mrs. Merrick would like to see this book.”)  But technically, I was Nate’s teacher this year and yesterday was the last day before our program/graduation next week. 

While we were practicing for the program yesterday, Nate caught my eye and I was his Mommy for a moment, not his teacher.  I sat watching my 4-year-old son sing his little heart out…it kind of sucked…I had to swallow pretty hard in order to not have to explain to 14 darling 3 and 4-year-olds why their teacher was crying.  I did it…but it happened 3 more times that day before we got home and the chaos that is my house prevented me from thinking about it again ~ until now.

Next year, Nate will be with his Mrs. Merrick in the 5-day class.  Danika will be in the other 3-year-old class ~ because I think she will do much better without me to cling to all the time.  Who knows what I’ll do with the twins when their time comes…but I know that this could very well be the only time I had one of my kiddos in my class.  It’s an interesting experience to see them in that setting.  I’m glad I had the chance to do it.  Next year, though, I get to go through the experience from the other side.  The expereince of “giving” my children to other people for a few hours a week…letting other people take care of them…letting other people be important parts of their lives. 

I get it now and I’m sure I’ll get it even more next year.  I get why the beginning of the year is so tough for parents…why they want to walk their kiddos in and peek at them through the windows.  Why they ask so many questions that border on personal but are really just questions that help them understand, know and trust the person who will be responsible for their baby for however long they are in our care.  I know the women who will be with my children (and they are all wonderful) and for most or part of the time my children are there I will be in the building – it still makes my chest a little tight and my throat close up…my eyes water because I won’t be right next to them if they need me.

Please, don’t think I’m not going to be able to handle this.  I’ll totally be fine.  In fact, once it starts I’ll probably enjoy a little bit of a routine and a little break from 4 kids every morning!  Plus, I’m not completely ruling out the possibility that PMS has something to do with this feeling right now.  It’s also probably in part due to the fact that I’ve been oddly aware of how wonderful my children are at the age they are right now.  My mother is good for the, “This is such a nice age” comment and I know what she means – although, I’m not looking forward to finding out about the no-so-nice ages that are in the future.

So ~ I have to just share some pictures with you and let you know about my wonderful friend, Erin!  Erin and I met through the book club I’m in that meets once a month.  We started talking through facebook and then started going to Mommy Group meetings together.  We are a lot alike – we both have quite a few kids and we are both super busy.  Erin LOVES to stamp – and she’s really really good at it, too!  I mentioned on her blog once that I liked the recipe boxes she had made.  So, she made me one for my birthday!  She gave it to me yesterday, so I just have to share some pictures!

Here’s a picture of the top of the box – she did a garden theme because she had read that Jerry and I like to garden!
 
This is the front of the box – isn’t it ADORABLE!?!
She made it big so that I could fit a full size sheet of paper in it!  Which is awesome because most of my recipes come from allrecipes.com or magazines!

Here’s the inside tabs –

And this is her “stamp” on the back!


Too cute, right?  I’m planning on filing and filling it up later today.  I’m so excited about it!  It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to find the perfect place to show it off in my kitchen!
Thanks again, Erin!

So ~ How was your Mother’s Day?  Let me show you what my loving hubby bought me for the special occasion…

Cute, right? There is one silhouette for each of my kiddos – with their birthday listed below.  At first, I thought it was a little bit too big because I’m not a big jewelry person.  But it grew on me and by the end of the day I was in love with it!  I’m already thinking about other charms I want to get to put on it…like a teaching one and maybe one for my anniversary!

All that being said – my Mother’s Day was kind of a rocky one emotionally.  I’m not sure exactly why, but I got myself into a bad place for about 45 minutes and had to force myself to snap out of it.  I’ve probably mentioned somewhere (but I’m too lazy to go find where) that I try very hard to be a positive person.  I try very hard not to complain too much about things.  I didn’t realize that trying that hard can sometimes catch up with you – but it did for me yesterday.  All the things I try not to worry about or complain about started to REALLY bother me.  They started to bother me so much I had to actually go up to my room and be alone for about 20 minutes so I could lose my composure and then regain it – something I just didn’t feel like doing in front of my kiddos.  I cried – not uncontrollably, but harder than I had in a while – and then I told myself that was it…it was time to go and enjoy my Mother’s Day. 

I have no real intention of getting into what I was upset about – except for one thing a little further down…but I do want to talk a little bit about my hubby’s reaction.  He didn’t know why I excused myself.  After all, I’m just getting over a stomach flu, so I’ve been running up the steps a lot lately!  We talked about it a little later, though, when we were riding home from my parents’ house.  I told him that I think trying to be so positive is starting to wear on me.  I told him about how I think that always trying to act like everything is okay is making me hold a lot more inside than I should be.  One of the problems, though, is that everything really is pretty much okay.  The things I would complain about aren’t really that big a deal when you look at other people’s problems.  However – they are my problems.  They are the things I have to deal with.  I mentioned that I maybe I should go find someone to talk to - you know, like a therapist, because I won't feel bad complaining to them because I'd be paying them to listen to me...all he said was, "Yeah - and they would probably say something back to you...cause I have no clue what to tell ya!"

Another issue with me complaining is that I really have a problem admitting that I have a problem.  I try very hard to do things on my own.  It comes from so many people telling me I’m going to need help – from so many people commenting on how full my hands must be – from so many people giving me a sympathetic look when they find out how many kids I have and how old they are – I want to prove them wrong for some reason.  I don’t like to admit that I don’t have it under control.  I don’t like to admit that I need help.  I don’t like to ask for help.  I desperately want to be able to go to the park with my four children all by myself…but it will never happen.  I know that I only have to ask and someone would be more than willing to go with me – so, yesterday, I decided I’m done feeling sorry for myself and going to quit being stubborn.  I’m going to *gulp* ask for help and ask other people into my life – realizing that they will see that I’m not perfect…but that’s okay, right?  I’m hoping that it will help me to feel less isolated – less like all I am is a mother.

Isn’t it funny that I would discover something like that on Mother’s Day – that I’m having an issue because I feel like I’m consumed with being a mother these days?  Of COURSE I’m consumed with it – I have 4 children who depend on me for pretty much every essential in life (although 2 out of 4 are potty trained – hang in there Christine!).  Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE being a mom…but for some reason I’m missing doing things for me.

So – I took a personal day from work yesterday.  Jerry is off and I’m going to get my haircut.  I think I want it to look something like this:

I know…it’s kind of a mom haircut!  However, I’ve been rocking the ponytail nonstop for about a month now…I need a change – and I’m hoping that this will force me to do my hair every day…and that will make me feel like getting out of the house, which will mean I will have to call someone to go with me!

Next, I’ve got to do something about my wardrobe.  If you pretty much wear XL clothes, where do you shop?  I’m planning on getting rid of a lot of my less comfortable clothes and getting myself some staples and starting my wardrobe over.  Let’s face it, pregnancy changes your body…unfortunately for me, mine isn’t bouncing back as quick from the twins as I would like.  I refuse to keep trying on the same clothes that make me look horrible hoping that they don’t look as bad today.  So – I need to make a list of essentials and sort of start over…ideas would be greatly appreciated because I hate to shop for clothes – fashion just really isn’t my thing.

I’m hoping that maybe next year I’ll be more together on Mother’s Day – I’m hoping that I might be able to look more like I want to look and feel more like I want to feel.  Yesterday was just a really off day for me.

In closing – do you have boys?  Do you have Geotrax?  We have a love/hate relationship with them around here.  They are fun and Nate and Danika will both play with them for hours…but they take up SO much space!  Exhibit A for Why We Need a Playroom!

 

I now understand why people wonder how I can get everything done. They must think I'm ALWAYS as busy as I have been this week! I'm actually having an okay week - aside from the fact that I'm exhausted. It's going really fast, too. Just when I thought life couldn't move at a faster pace - I'm seriously starting to wonder if someone pressed some sort of fast forward button or something.

I actually don't have a whole lot of time to spend on a blog post today, but I wanted to share some of Nate's artwork from our preschool art show. I had a wonderful time last night. My coworkers (who I would call just call friends if I didn't also work with them) got to play with (and meet) my babies and kiddos. Jerry got to see more of where I work and meet some of the kids I talk about when I get home. It was a really nice night. I was surprised (and then not so surprised) that Jerry stayed the whole time with the kids - from 6 to 8:30ish. I was surprised because I thought he would get bored, but then not surprised once I realized all he had to do if he stayed was let everyone fuss over the baby he was holding. :) Nate and Danika played happily in the play room and both of the twins managed a nap even with all the noise. Personally, I think that David slept so well because he had such a wonderful woman holding him and snuggling him. He looked incredibly comfortable sleeping on Karen and she didn't look too upset, either.

So, enjoy the art show pics...I'll be there again tonight but Jerry will be somewhere glued to the TV. There is a hockey game on tonight and he wouldn't miss it for anything...how much longer are the playoffs? *sigh* Then I'm headed up to my Alma Mater - kind of. :) We are going to a teaching conference at a Holiday Inn nearby. Nunnu is watching the kids in the morning - hope he gets a good night's sleep! Jerry will be home around 1:30 to take over until I get home around 4:30/5:00.

Probably see you again here on Saturday!

Nate's painting is the pumpkin patch!

His pilgrim says, "Nate is thankful for getting to play with Daddy"

Everyone draws a family portrait...this is Nate's.  See Mommy holding Dean and David?  I'm not sure you can tell from the picture, but Daddy has facial hair, too!

While I love the prompt over at Cop Mama's, I had something else in mind for my Mama Guilt post today...

I am part of a group of women that get together once a month and just talk...and eat...and laugh.  We don't really have a name, but we have been getting together for about 6 or 7 months.  I've missed at least 1 get together - and it really bothered me because I look forward to that time out with other moms.

Anyway ~ there are all kinds of moms in our group.  Moms with one child, moms with 4 (hehehe), moms with all girls, moms with all boys, moms with a mix of both, moms who work and moms who are lucky enough to stay home.  It's funny how we all "need" our group for different reasons...I need the group to get a break from the kids and hang out with adults for a while.  I really enjoy their company and it makes me feel like someone other than "Mommy" for a few hours. 

A lot of the "first-time Moms" use the group as a place to get answers and help with that "am I doing it right" feeling.  This is where this week's Mama Guilt comes in...I'm just not as worried about the twins as I was Nate or Danika and that makes me worry I'll miss something.

I may have to backtrack a bit for this to make sense...

A few weeks ago, my mom was putting David on the carpet and asked me if I wanted her to put a blanket down first.  My reply?  "He's my 4th child...not my 1st, mom.  He's fine."  I guess I said it to be funny, but really I feel a little guilty about it now. 

Am I giving him the same about of attention I gave Nate?  No...because I can't.  Not only because he has Nate and Danika ahead of him, but because he also has a twin brother.  The twins don't get as much attention as I gave Nate or Danika.  I know it's not like I'm neglecting them.  I just wonder if I'm not seeing something.

With Nate, I knew every milestone.  I knew when he should be sitting unsupported.  I knew what kind of "talking" he should be doing.  I introduced his food in a certain order and fed him the same things for a certain period of time before switching to something else.  I kept him on a blanket on the floor.  I gave him a bath every other night without fail.  I always made sure he couldn't reach anything that he shouldn't have.

The twins are so different that I think I'm confusing their milestones...David just started crawling (as in this afternoon) but won't sit up.  Dean started sitting up but won't even roll over when we put him on the floor.  They both make all kinds of noises - but are they enough or the right ones?  They eat whatever I blended up and froze or whatever is in the cupboard.  I almost never put a blanket on the floor - they won't stay on it anyway.  They get a bath once a week - more if they NEED it but only once if not.  Today, David came millimeters away from sucking on a beer bottle because I was trying to keep Dean happy while Jerry ran in the kitchen to make a bottle and (as I mentioned) David recently started crawling. 

It's not that I'm not worried about them - I am...I want them to be okay...I want them to grow and develop the way they are suppose to...it's just...well, with all of the other stuff going on I'm usually just happy if they are happy.  I feel guilty about that because I'm afraid that not being so worried all the time...so cautious...means that I'm not being as good a mom to them as I was to Nate, when I only had 1 baby - and they deserve a mommy as worried as I was then.

This whole thing kind of started 2 days ago because Dean has been breathing funny.  My gut tells me it's probably nothing.  It's this...well, you know how you have to try to catch your breath after you cry really really hard?  That gasping, I guess?  Well he was doing that...in his sleep...and then for about 10 minutes after he woke up.  No crying, though.  He didn't cry before, during or after.  It did go away - and it wasn't constant...but I have this nagging feeling that I wrote it off too quickly.  He had an inhaler because of bronchitis about 3 months ago (I don't think he really had bronchitis, to be honest).  Could it be some side effect from that?  Could it be asthma?  How do I know?  I decided that if it happens again I will call the doctor - but is that the right thing to do?  If it were Nate when he was 7 months old would I have called before it stopped - in that first 10 minutes?

As I've said before, I'm not perfect and I hate these feeling of not knowing what to do...I hate being the one "in-charge" sometimes...I wish someone would just tell me what to do and I'll do it - guilt free.

The prompt I decided to follow this week was “Friends”.

I talk about it a little bit in this post, but I really want my kids to grow up being best friends…leaning on each other…looking out for one another, etc.

So, here it is – I’m planning on posting a blog post sometime tomorrow (Friday) but wanted to get this up here so that I could get my MckLinky on!  hehehe

No, really – I don’t complain much.  I firmly believe that if you complain you become more miserable.  If you just “suck it up” and do what needs to be done or fix what you can fix and put the things you can’t change in God’s hands then you will be much happier.  That’s not to say you will ALWAYS be happy – but I promise you will be HAPPIER than if you sit around and complain all day.

That being said, I would like to take this moment to ask reality to do me a huge favor…BACK OFF!!!

There are so many things creeping up in my near future that I have to deal with that I’m just feeling slightly panicked.  So ~ here’s my letter to reality…please indulge me and I promise I won’t make this a regular thing.

Dear Reality,

See these children?

Could you do me a favor and not let them grow up or change for the next 2 or 3 years?  I am so happy with the way they are right at this very moment and I’m not ready for them to change, yet.  I’m enjoying them the way they are and would appreciate it if they could stay this way for a while…after all, Dean has already lost his toothless grin with that one tooth popping up on the bottom.  Thanks to you, though, I’m not able to  just drop everything and just spend time with them and Jerry. So I can’t REALLY enjoy them the way I want to…

Also, I was talking to my dad yesterday about Jerry taking the boys hunting when they get older.  I told him that a freezer full of deer meat would be great – but my stomach does flips when I think of my boys out there with other hunters.  I told him that I just am not ready to think about the things I can’t protect them from, yet.  So – if you could just make people stop talking about things they will do that I don’t have control over, I would appreciate that, too.

Oh – and could you find a way to have someone knock on our front door and tell us they would like to buy our house for twice what it is worth AND that they have found the perfect 4 bedroom, 2 and 1/2 bath house in the best school district in the area, for tens of thousands less than we wanted to pay for it? Would it be pushing it to ask you to make sure it has huge walk-in closets in all 4 bedrooms and 1 in the hallway, too?

If it’s not too much trouble, could you get my husband the perfect job?  His job isn’t bad – it’s actually been going a lot better than it was last year at this time.  My big complaint is the hours…could you give him Saturdays off?  Please?  I would be more than willing to give him to you Monday through Friday from 9 – 5 or even 8 – 4.  He would work his butt off for you from the start of the day to the end of the day – he’s good like that.  In fact, he’s better when he has too much to do.  But could you please just return him to us at the same, decent hour every night?  Oh – and the Saturday thing…we only have 1 day a week at home together (Sunday) and I would really, really like 2 – I’d be even happier with 2 in a row. 

Last but not least, if you can’t take care of all the laundry for me could you at least freeze time while I’m online?  That way I won’t lose so many hours a week while reading blogs and Tweeting.  :)

Thanks so much -

Krajcimama

Now that I’m done complaining…did you notice?  Did you see?  I’ve reached 100 followers!  :)  I’m very excited…I’d throw a party – if I had the time/energy.

Speaking of parties…I went to the UBP on Twitter last night and I won a prize!  Me!  What did I win, you ask…I won a $40 gift certificate to Francie Pants.  I can’t wait to show Danika and let her pick out some patterns!  A big Thank You to 5 Minutes for Mom for hosting the UBP and for the prize!  :)  Pictures will follow – once I place and receive my order! 

My birthday turned out to be a pretty nice day - until my hormones kicked in and turned me in to a crazed woman (but that wasn't until AFTER the kids went to bed...so it's all good).  2 of the biggest highlights were that my BlackBerry went back to normal after being fully submerged in my husband's grandmother's toilet last night.  (stuck it in a bag of rice overnight) AND my daughter slept in big girl underwear for the first time with NO ACCIDENTS!!!  Having 2 out of pull-ups/diapers would be awesome.  Especially since this was the one I never thought would be potty trained.

After waking up and getting surprised with a working phone and dry daughter (and birthday cards from kids and Jerry), Jerry left with Nate to go to the auto body shop to get an estimate for the damage to our van.  We were in a very minor accident the Tuesday before Easter - minor but still $4,000.00.  The other girl's insurance has already contacted us and they will be taking care of everything.  On the way back, he picked up doughnuts and breakfast sandwiches for breakfast.  (Duh) Then he took the "big" kids to play outside almost all day which gave me some time to get some stuff done inside.  He also took them down to the corner store (yes, we still have one of those and it's within walking distance) and bought us sandwiches and cookies and little pizza pillows for lunch.  

After lunch, I went up to tackle the whole switch from winter clothes to summer ones.  We have been having really nice weather and need to get the shorts out.  I NEVER imagined what a gigantic task it is to go through dressers and closets for 6 people.  I'm not even done yet.  I spent about 3 hours up there and got the babies and "big" kids clothes situated.  I have a box for my niece and 3 boxes for Goodwill.  I also have about 4 baskets of laundry - so who knows what's in there.  My room...my clothes...I just didn't have the energy for it yesterday.  Plus, it's all pre-twin-pregnancy and that scares me.  I don't want to open these boxes and find clothes that don't fit...it's too depressing.  *sigh*  I did manage to find a pair of capris that fit quite well when looking for something to wear yesterday.  Maybe it won't be as bad as I think - but I still am willing to bet that I'll have another box for Goodwill when all is said and done.  I'm not holding on to things that I can't wear.  It's too much clutter and too much pressure. 

I have a question - if you are still reading my rambling.  Anyone ever have to teach someone to pedal who just doesn't want to pedal forward?  Danika LOVES her new bike...but she just won't pedal forward.  I've tried moving her feet in the right direction.  I've tried having her watch Nate do it.  Doing it for "pretend" while laying on the floor.  She just can't get it.  I know that it may just be that she needs to keep trying - but if there is some kind of trick, I'd appreciate you sharing it with me so we can get her moving!

Oh - and here...have a picture!

First of all – Easter rocked!  Check it out -

We colored Easter eggs

We ate Easter Pizza (that’s what we call it at least)

We were invaded by GIANT Easter Bunnies

We had Easter egg hunts

We wore Bunny Ears (or at least THEY wore them!)

Now ~ we have so much Easter candy I don’t know what we are going to do with it all.  We have more than I could ever allow my children to eat – Easter has totally rivaled Halloween this year.  They got candy at the Easter Party we went to a few weeks ago.  Nate got some candy from school (not as much candy as other stuff, though – which was nice).  They got candy from my husband’s parents.  They got candy from my parents.  They got candy from the “Easter Bunny” (though only a few little eggs with jelly beans and a big chocolate bunny).  They got candy from my sister-in-law.  HELP!  I would like to do something fun with the chocolate…melt it down, maybe?  Any suggestions?  What do you do with all the candy? 

Oh…and…um ~ I reached 75 followers this weekend.  That is a really big deal for me…I’m kind of in awe, actually.  Thank you for finding me interesting enough to listen to while I’m rambling!  *totally blushing*

So ~ over at Multiples and More they are celebrating their First Blogiversary.  To commemorate the ending of this week long event, they put up a MckLinky for all sites to link up on.  That’s where I found this. Which has inspired me to elaborate on this – the day we found out we were having TWINS!

I think my original post about finding out we were having twins wasn’t a very good one.  Mainly because I wrote it the day AFTER we found out.  The excitement/fun had worn off and I had already started to worry. 

It was the Wednesday before Easter – I remember because I had my Easter Party with my preschool class the day before and had promised to call the school and tell them if I found out the sex of the baby at the ultrasound the next day. 

Jerry wasn’t excited.  He was more annoyed than anything else because he was “skipping” work to come to the ultrasound.  We had set it up so that he would still make it to work in time to have his weekly conference call with one of his higher ups, who knew where he was going and approved it and all, but Jerry likes routine and this was messing with his routine.  It didn’t help that we waited in the waiting room for a good 25 minutes after our scheduled appointment time had come and gone.  My mom had come to sit with the “big” kids and he was nervous we were keeping her from doing something, too. 

When we finally got back there, the ultrasound tech looked at me like I had 6 heads.  She just couldn’t understand why I was coming in at 18 weeks and not a few weeks later.  She sounded very pessimistic about being able to determine the gender.  I explained that the OB said I was measuring a little bit big and that she just wanted to check the size of the baby to make sure everything was ok.  The ultrasound tech didn’t even turn the screen so I could see as she started.  I wasn’t happy at all – I was actually feeling really disappointed.  Then I saw Jerry make a funny face from the bottom of the table.  I felt the ultrasound tech move from one spot to the other.  Jerry turned his head sideways.

“Well, honey, I know why you are measuring big.”  I think I held my breath here – waiting for some horrible news. “You are having twins!”

The next 30 seconds were a blur.  I remember Jerry’s initial reaction perfectly.  “Oh shit.” he said as he kind of crouched down and covered his face with his hands.  Then he rushed over to me…and the roller coaster ride began at the top again.

We learned from that visit that the twins had separate sacs and separate placentas.  Baby B was most likely a boy (she was 75% sure) They were most likely fraternal – not identical, but we were told that didn’t mean they wouldn’t look alike (they look NOTHING alike). 

We spent the next 40 minutes getting measured and measured again – everything looked great.  I remember the lady doing the ultrasound was the mother of twins.  She was showing an intern the “ropes” and that intern was a twin herself!  What are the chances?  We spent the car ride home trying to decide how to tell people.

Telling people was a lot of fun, actually.  We used pretty much the same approach with everyone.  They asked how the ultrasound went…we showed them one set of pictures.  They gushed over them – asking if we knew the sex.  We said no.  Then we would ask them to look up in the corner – they would then say, “Why does it say Baby A?” We would then whip out the second set of pics and say, “Because they are pretty sure that Baby B is a boy.”  This approach made both my parents cry and Jerry’s mom decide she needed a drink!  (she almost NEVER drinks!)

I did tell my brother and sister-in-law over the phone.  My brother-in-law was first and I just blurted it out because he sounded concerned about why I was calling him at work on a Wednesday.  My sister-in-law thought she didn’t hear me right when I said “they couldn’t tell on the first one”.  She said something about that being too bad but we would probably be able to find out next time.  So then I said something about how big Baby A was and that made her pause…and then ask me what the heck I was talking about.

Looking back, this was really a great day!  It was so much fun letting everyone know!  It was so much fun sharing that with other people.  The months that followed were rocky.  We had moments when we were sure we wouldn’t be able to do this.  Moments when we were in awe that there were 2 babies fighting it out in my belly.  Moments when we were scared.  Moments when we were excited.  It’s funny how all of that seems kind of silly now – now that we’ve been doing this for almost 7 months.  I wonder what we worried so much about.  It’s hard to imagine life any different than it is right now.  It’s hard to imagine life before I found out I was having twins.

That was almost a year ago – but I think I will always think about that day around Easter.  We were really celebrating new life that Easter – not only 1 new life, which were were expecting, but a second new life that was an amazing blessing!

For some reason this morning I started thinking about how much of this my kids are going to remember.  I know that I will remember a lot of it – probably not all of it, which kind of makes me sad – but I know that I will remember a lot.  How much will they remember when they are my age?  When do kids really start remembering and making their memories?

Nate already remembers some things.  In fact, he remembers a lot more than I ever would have thought he would.  He remembers that we went swimming on our vacation – and he wants to go again.  He remembers that we met Nana and Pap Pap and Aunt Mare at the seats outside of Sonic and had lunch there when the weather was nice – now that the weather is nice again, he wants to do that again, too!  He remembers that Grandma Fran looks at the same moon we do every night and that Elena likes to play the Wii.  All things that I wouldn’t have bet on him remembering.

Danika – well, she comes up with the strangest things sometimes.  I still see her as younger than she really is, I think.  Her speech is something that I’m going to have to deal with sooner or later…probably sooner if I can.  Sometimes, though, she will bust out with something really clear and I can understand every word!  She loves Little Bear and this morning was reciting it word for word…which amazed me.

When I think back to my childhood, I remember bits and pieces.  I almost feel like I should write them down somewhere so that I won’t forget more than I already have!  I remember listening to The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack with my parents on Saturdays while eating breakfast.  I remember my dad playing the 1812th Overture to wake us up in the mornings during summer vacation.  I remember jumping on the bed, breaking it and blaming the whole thing on my sister – then, getting caught!  I remember vacations and weekend trips.  I remember picnics and Lemon Blend.  I remember walking to Dairy Queen and Rosa’s Pizza. 

I don’t remember the everyday stuff as much as I would like to.  I don’t remember things as clearly as I would like to.  I don’t know if anyone does…I wish I could.

Anyway – here are pictures of my kids this morning.  An ordinary morning where we aren’t doing anything special.  I just snapped them: 1, 2, 3, 4.

Here’s what you looked like on March 31, 2010 little ones…where all we did was play with some toys, eat grilled cheese for breakfast (because you wanted to) and laugh with each other:

*I apologize about the absence of some of the pictures in this post - I have no freaking clue what happened or what's going on...but I don't have time to fix it right now!  :(

It's not a bad thing that I'm not finding the time to blog about my weekend on Sunday nights - It usually means that it was a great weekend and I just don't have the energy or that I am really busy with my family and don't have the time. It's not a bad problem to have! So - here's the low down on what went down this weekend.

Saturday we celebrated my friend, Derek’s birthday.  He actually turns 30 this week – but with Easter coming and all we just celebrated this past weekend.  (I run into a similar problem with my birthday, too…it’s the day after his!)

The above picture is only really funny to those of us who are “in on the joke”.  You see, when these guys were younger – much younger – they would spend HOURS kicking a bean bag around to each other.  HOURS and HOURS, night after night - “hacking”.  Well, it got kind of dark and they just couldn’t see that darn bean bag as clearly as they use to…you know eyesight gets worse with age.  So, someone suggested they use a bigger ball.  Much bigger…it was actually hysterical to watch them kick this thing around a circle.  I was just worried that one of them was going to break their ankle or leg…you know bones get more brittle with age.
 
This is proof that I had a glass (or two) too many.  I was drinking wine and really (really) enjoying it.  Here I am towards the end of the night planting a big old kiss on someone who is NOT my husband.  (For the record, my husband is taking the picture – totally not upset, I swear!)

The next day (Sunday) we had an Easter Party to go to.  I must add here that my husband was amazing yesterday morning.  It was further proof of my two (or three) too many glasses of wine that I was having a really tough time getting moving on Sunday morning.  My husband was great!  Took care of the kids and let me “recover” a bit.  He even made everyone breakfast!  What a guy!

So – on to the Easter party. 
Unfortunately, it was raining – so the egg hunt took place inside.  Here are some pics from the party.

Danika (on the left) and my niece, Angelina (on the right) with their egg hunt bags!

Nate was lucky enough to only have one little boy with him in his age category!  His buddy Nicholas!  Boy did they ever make out with the eggs/candy!

My mom’s camera has a much better picture (one where it doesn’t look like I woke Dean up to take this this picture – even though I did).  I’ll have to get it off of her!


I have no idea what is up with the goofy grin. 




You will notice that there is no picture of Danika with the bunny.  This is where my Mama Guilt comes in.  She just wouldn’t do it.  No way – no how.  She was the same with Santa.  It’s not a big deal, really…but it’s not because I don’t WANT her to take a picture with these characters – it’s just that I DON’T want her to cry and scream any more than she already does.  I know that I shouldn’t feel guilty about not making her cry – but I kind of feel guilty that I can’t get her to not cry and just take the picture.  I mean I will have all these pictures of her brothers with Santa and the Easter Bunny (and hopefully Disney Characters some day) but none of my beautiful daughter.  I may have tried to make her take the picture, but I was holding a sleeping baby and there was NO WAY hubby was going to make her do something she didn’t want to…she has him totally wrapped around her finger.

Oh – and the prompt over at Mama Guilt w/Cop Mama was about picky eaters…I totally talked about that last week!  The Nutritional Habit of my Children!

That’s about it.  We ended the weekend eating dinner at my parent’s house and watching the Pens win in a shoot out.

We have a busy busy week ahead of us…so, I’m off to go get started.  First up – laundry…so we don’t have to wear the same underwear all week!  (BTW – I hate laundry…least favorite part is the putting the clothes away part…I hate to admit how much we live out of laundry baskets around here.)

I don't really have anything to blog about this morning.

The thing is...I know that I complained a bit in my last post and for some unknown reason I don't like to leave a complaining blog post as the first post visible on my blog for a long time - it's a karma thing, or something...

So, since I really have nothing to blog about - but don't want negativity radiating throughout my entire weekend - I'm just going to give you some random stuff...in no particular order...with no purpose, really. 

First of all (because I know it is the first question you would ask), yes - we slept a little bit better last night.  That's all I'm saying because I don't want to jinx anything! 

Did you notice my new layout?  Probably not if you are reading through a reader (like I do) - so head on over to my blog and check it out...let me know what you think!  I used The Cutest Blog on the Block and was totally inspired by my friend, Chrisine's new layout.  (you should check her's out, too!)

I made Tuna Noodle Casserole last night for dinner.  Here's the recipe I used.  It's an Allrecipes recipe.  I use allrecipes.com for just about everything.  I have quite a few cookbooks - and I love looking through them, but when I need a recipe for something it is just so much easier to jump over there and find something.  Plus, there are usually a lot of reviews and suggestions for how to improve a recipe.  Since I'm not a big improviser in the kitchen - this is great for me!  I also love the Easy Meatloaf and World's Best Lasagna recipes from there.

We have an Easter party to go to tomorrow - so be on the lookout for bunny pictures in the near future.  I'm excited for the kids to get out and have some fun.  Plus, it's somewhere where I know I'll have help with the little guys or chasing the big kids if I need it.  I don't have to worry as much because it will be more than just Jerry and I keeping an eye on them.  *whew*  Although, my least favorite part of any outing is packing the bag - I can't wait for the day when I can walk out of the house without a bag the size of a pillowcase full of all the crap I need to take with me wherever I go.  (Please...Please don't tell me to keep an extra bag packed by the door and just refill it as needed - I don't have enough bottles and the last time I tried that the kids didn't get a chance to wear the change of clothes before they grew out of them!)

Speaking of parties, I'm headed to one tonight, too!  Except this is an "adult" party - no kiddos.  It's a 30th birthday part for a friend of mine.  In fact - it's a party with a bunch of my old High School/College Years friends.  Which could explain why I've felt like I'm in High School again lately.  :) 

Mentally, I prepared myself for the comments I'll get tonight.  Now, I don't know for sure if anyone will say anything - but chances are they will and I just want to be prepared...it gets really old, ya know.  So...if someone gives me the look and says, "So, are you done?" or "I think this is the first time I've seen you in the past 4 years and you haven't been pregnant!"  or "Wow, you must really have your hands full!  How do you do it?" or "Better you than me." or "Did you figure out what causes that, yet?" or "I don't know what I would do if I had 4 kids!" . . . I'll be ready.  I may not say exactly what I'll be thinking, but I will know that it isn't their fault.  They really don't understand.  You see, we didn't plan on having 4 children this close together.  Heck, we didn't plan on having 4 children!  However, I wouldn't be able to pick one to give back - I couldn't (and don't want to) imagine life without one of them!  They have all made our lives exactly the way it should be.  Yeah, it's not easy.  I understand why some people stop at 1 or 2.  I even understand why some people don't have any children.  That's just not for me - I always knew I was going to be a mommy...I always knew I'd have more than 1 baby.  Now, I NEVER thought I'd have twins and I NEVER thought I'd have 4 kids, but I'm happy about it and wouldn't change a thing.

All that being said, my kids are really starting to amuse me lately.  Nate says the most bizarre things sometimes!  Yesterday, he was talking to Danika - they were playing dress up and she had a Sleeping Beauty outfit on. 

Danika: I not Danika.  I Sleeping Booty!
Nate:  Okay, you're a Sleeping Booty!

Then he cracked up - like he actually knew he had called her a sleeping butt or something.  Is it possible?  Could he really have gotten that joke?  Well - he did tell my dad that he wanted to look up "SpongeBob Farts" on his Droid while they were waiting in line to get into preschool.  I know nothing about boys - I think it's time to revisit that book I bought when he was born!

I’m exhausted.  Actually, I’m beyond exhausted…what would that be?  Hmm..

Anyway – I’m sure you can tell by the title of this post that the babies haven’t been sleeping any better.  In fact, the culprit has a new name, “He-who-woke-EVERYONE-up-at-1:53am”.  Yep, it was him – again.

He woke this one up first:

Then together they woke these two:

The only reason I didn’t spend the entire day in a complete and total daze is because I fell asleep at 8:45 pm last night.  I was helping Danika fall asleep and ended up drifting off myself . . . and . . . well . . . just went to bed!  I don’t even feel the slightest bit guilty about it – I am kind of bummed that my DVR has shows on it that I want to watch, but they will be there Friday (which is the next time I’ll be able to watch TV – Go Pens!)

So, when the entire house was awake at 1:53 am I was a little bit more rested than I usually am at 1:53 am.  Still – I’m ready for bed.

My main reason for hopping on to do a post at all today was because the twins had their 6 month visit today.  Apparently, they are doing great.  They are both growing nicely…there is still a 4 lb. difference between the two – David is 16 lbs. 4 oz. and Dean is 19 lbs. 14 oz. – and there is a few inches in their height, too!  David is 27 1/4 inches and Dean is 29 1/4 inches.  According to the doctor, Dean is “off the charts” for his height.  I’m surprised he isn’t off the charts for weight – but maybe it’s just because he’s so tall that he looks so big. 

They got two shots today – and are now sleeping soundly…which I am headed up to do now – because I have a feeling they aren’t going to stay asleep all night.