Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Internet . . .

I woke up at 7:15 this morning with a blog post forming in my head.  I was going to tell you, in some witty way, about all the emotions that I experienced yesterday – it was a roller coaster kind of day.  Since it is now two hours later, dear internet, and you have sucked up my entire morning, I will have to just do the quick rendition of the whole thing.

I had a lump in my throat for about an hour and a half yesterday – I guess it wasn’t an hour and a half solid, but it was on and off for that long.  You see…yesterday was Nate’s last “regular” day of 3-year-old preschool.  This had me choked up for a few reasons…but it all comes back to the fact that my kids are getting bigger – they are growing up.  I was Nate’s teacher this year – although if you ask him he will probably name every other person who had anything to do with preschool this year…the wonderful women that are aids in the classroom (He LOVES his Mrs. Henry and Mrs. Schwartz!) or the subs that have been in the room at various times (He always talks about Mrs. Merrick and the things she would like when we see them – for example, when we were reading a book from the library the other day he said, “Mommy, I bet Mrs. Merrick would like to see this book.”)  But technically, I was Nate’s teacher this year and yesterday was the last day before our program/graduation next week. 

While we were practicing for the program yesterday, Nate caught my eye and I was his Mommy for a moment, not his teacher.  I sat watching my 4-year-old son sing his little heart out…it kind of sucked…I had to swallow pretty hard in order to not have to explain to 14 darling 3 and 4-year-olds why their teacher was crying.  I did it…but it happened 3 more times that day before we got home and the chaos that is my house prevented me from thinking about it again ~ until now.

Next year, Nate will be with his Mrs. Merrick in the 5-day class.  Danika will be in the other 3-year-old class ~ because I think she will do much better without me to cling to all the time.  Who knows what I’ll do with the twins when their time comes…but I know that this could very well be the only time I had one of my kiddos in my class.  It’s an interesting experience to see them in that setting.  I’m glad I had the chance to do it.  Next year, though, I get to go through the experience from the other side.  The expereince of “giving” my children to other people for a few hours a week…letting other people take care of them…letting other people be important parts of their lives. 

I get it now and I’m sure I’ll get it even more next year.  I get why the beginning of the year is so tough for parents…why they want to walk their kiddos in and peek at them through the windows.  Why they ask so many questions that border on personal but are really just questions that help them understand, know and trust the person who will be responsible for their baby for however long they are in our care.  I know the women who will be with my children (and they are all wonderful) and for most or part of the time my children are there I will be in the building – it still makes my chest a little tight and my throat close up…my eyes water because I won’t be right next to them if they need me.

Please, don’t think I’m not going to be able to handle this.  I’ll totally be fine.  In fact, once it starts I’ll probably enjoy a little bit of a routine and a little break from 4 kids every morning!  Plus, I’m not completely ruling out the possibility that PMS has something to do with this feeling right now.  It’s also probably in part due to the fact that I’ve been oddly aware of how wonderful my children are at the age they are right now.  My mother is good for the, “This is such a nice age” comment and I know what she means – although, I’m not looking forward to finding out about the no-so-nice ages that are in the future.

Now for something completely unrelated!
So ~ I have to just share some pictures with you and let you know about my wonderful friend, Erin!  Erin and I met through the book club I’m in that meets once a month.  We started talking through facebook and then started going to Mommy Group meetings together.  We are a lot alike – we both have quite a few kids and we are both super busy.  Erin LOVES to stamp – and she’s really really good at it, too!  I mentioned on her blog once that I liked the recipe boxes she had made.  So, she made me one for my birthday!  She gave it to me yesterday, so I just have to share some pictures!

Here’s a picture of the top of the box – she did a garden theme because she had read that Jerry and I like to garden!
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This is the front of the box – isn’t it ADORABLE!?!
She made it big so that I could fit a full size sheet of paper in it!  Which is awesome because most of my recipes come from allrecipes.com or magazines!
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Here’s the inside tabs –
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And this is her “stamp” on the back!
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Too cute, right?  I’m planning on filing and filling it up later today.  I’m so excited about it!  It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to find the perfect place to show it off in my kitchen!
Thanks again, Erin!