Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Smelling the Roses

Let me start by saying the D-Listed Blog Party ROCKS!!!

I solemnly swear, with all my heart, that I will visit each blog that came and visited mine...eventually.  :)  All of you who commented that you don't know how I do it - eh, sometimes it takes me longer but I eventually get the job done!

I had a wonderful moment tonight.  A moment where I was able to just enjoy what I was doing - of course at first the 100 things I have to do (finish book club book, visit blogs, do dinner dishes, finish laundry, watch Glee, look at school stuff, fix my BlackBerry, etc.) were running through my head...then I started thinking about the 100 other things I wanted to do tomorrow (clean cobwebs out of corner of kitchen, write some emails, more laundry, finish bedrooms, wash sheets, what's for dinner?).   Then I just stopped.  I actually kinda, almost cried.  Finally, I closed my eyes and took it all in.

Here is my Baby Baby -


He is not a snuggler.  He is lovable and adorable but he just doesn't snuggle.  He's too busy to snuggle.  He's always on the move and when he's tired he just can't seem to get comfortable until you put him in his crib...except for tonight.  Tonight, he actually cried when I put him down!  So, I picked him back up and rocked him a little bit...and he snuggled with me.  My non-snuggler wanted to snuggle with me.  I had a hard time, at first, relaxing.  Then, I started thinking about how very soon he will be like this....


Too big to hold in my arms so easily...too big to rock to sleep.  My twins are the perfect size right now...they will be for a while.  I don't remember a whole lot about Nate and Danika at this age . . . I remember being tired.  I remember rushing it.  I remember thinking, "Oh, it will be so great when they can talk and tell me what they want or what is wrong."  I remember thinking, "Man, I can't wait until they can walk on their own and I don't have to carry them everywhere"  I remember thinking, "Gah!  I just wish they could play by themselves for an hour so I could get something done".

Not this time, though - this time around I'm trying to hold on to every last second I can...I'm trying to suck it in...I'm trying to make sure it's seared into my memory.  I don't want to forget what it's like to hold my baby close to me and snuggle him while he drifts off to sleep.  I want to remember what that feels like.

Which is why I took 30 full minutes out of my evening and did nothing but snuggle my non-snuggler.  I held him a little tighter than I usually would and willed myself to remember that exact feeling....that exact moment.

I'm going to really enjoy this summer.  This summer is the last summer I will have babies..,.next summer I will have toddlers...I plan on stopping and smelling a lot more "roses" than I have before - I don't want to miss a minute...it's already going too fast!