March 2011 - Perfecting Imperfection

Ready or not . . .

Here he comes!

Nate is SUPER excited, too. Mama? Well, Mama is having about 100 different feelings about it. However, I've chosen to repress most of them until later. I mean, no use in getting all worked up about my oldest baby starting Kindergarten 6 months before it happens! I know that the next 6 months will be busy and full of fun and fly by and I'll be faced with the day I have to actually drop him off at his classroom door and leave him but for now. . . I'm going to enjoy the fact that it's not tomorrow.

I'm also REALLY excited for him, too. I LOVE school. I'm almost a little jealous that he is going! (Did I really just say that?) I really wish I could go with him - but not so much because I don't want to leave him. I wish I could go with him because I know how much fun he is going to have and I'd love to have fun with him! No, I'm not crazy and I'm not going to linger in the hallway on those first days. . . but I'll miss him and be SO curious about what he is doing. Any tips on how to get him to spill the details would be greatly appreciated - I know kids aren't always the best at talking about their day. :)

The whole registration/screening process went really smooth. We went in and I signed him in and they whisked him away to the gym while I finished filling in papers. Then, they brought him back out smiling and told me he did wonderful. They gave him that nifty backpack you see up there. It had a folder for him to take with him to school - already labeled with one side for notes to keep at home and one side for notes to return to school. It also had a handbook for parents and a book full of pictures of the school (Nate and I LOVE this one because it gives us a look into what his day will be like!). There were 2 pencils and a story book called, "Look Out, Kindergarten, Here I Come!" The whole thing was really nice and made him excited about the next school year instead of scared.

I know that he is ready for this and I think that I am, too. I'm ready to have 2 kids in school 5 days a week! Danika in 5 day preschool and Nate in Kindergarten! 2 down - 2 to go! :)

, by Krajcimama

Hotel on The Corner of Bitter and Sweet

, by Krajcimama

Mother's Instinct

It's been a long day. Actually, it's been a long weekend. Something is off and I don't know what but I wish I could put my finger on it and get over whatever it is...but lately I've been edgier than usual.

This morning, we took Dean to Children's Hospital to see a cardiologist. I should probably back up a little bit -

Me and my not so little, little guy

When Dean was about 9 months old he got Bronchiolitis. It sucked. It was scary and frustrating because he had to use an inhaler for it ~ which is not fun with a 9 month old...not fun AT ALL!

So, I kind of noticed since then that he seems to have a stronger/harder heartbeat than my other kiddos. I mentioned it to his doctor at our one year visit and she said that she didn't hear anything unusual but to let her know if I notice it again. I felt a little better but wasn't convinced that she listened well enough to know for sure that there was nothing there...but he was healthy otherwise and was developing perfectly normally.

We missed their 15 month appointment because of the "Olive Can" incident. So - they were just seen this past month for their 18 month check up. About a week before the check up I was snuggling with Dean in my bed, something that almost NEVER happens because the boys aren't usually in our bed with us. I noticed that his heart was beating hard again. He wasn't crying. He wasn't angry. He was snuggling with me. He did have a bit of a cold, though. I tried not to worry about it and went on with life as usual.

At the appointment, I talked to the doctor about all my concerns about David. We talked about his thumb and how nicely it healed. We talked about how they eat, sleep and their growth. Then, she asked if I had any concerns about Dean. I said, "Just make sure you get a good listen to his heart, again." She asked why and I told her that I still felt like something was off...so she tried listening but couldn't hear much of what I was talking about because Dean was NOT happy she was near him. So - she sent us to the cardiologist.

I was perfectly fine with it and expected that there would be nothing wrong. I expected to be told that I was overreacting or that I was crazy. I was happy that I was going to have a specialist tell me he was okay.

That's why I don't understand why I'm not thrilled that things went exactly that way! He is fine. She didn't hear anything out of the ordinary and she said he seems perfectly healthy. I couldn't have asked for a better visit or report.

So, can someone please explain to me why I still have a knot in my stomach? I believe her that his heart is fine. I saw his pulse, blood pressure and the EKG that they did. I watched a physician's assistant and a cardiologist check him out and both of them take their time listening to him. They both said the same thing and agreed he was good.

I think that part of it comes from Jerry telling the physician's assistant that we were basically sitting in front of her because of "Mother's Instinct" - his exact words because he had never felt anything like I had mentioned. I am glad I was wrong but does that mean my instincts are off? Am I missing something, then? I have felt pretty stretched thin lately. I'm overwhelmed and feeling a bit out of it lately . . . but is this effecting my instincts? Does it mean my game isn't what it should be?

Nope - the thing is, I think I knew that he was fine all along. I think that I knew that the doctor was going to tell me it was nothing. I also think I need to hear it so that I could check it off of my list of things to worry about. I believe it, too, really I do...I DO. Okay, so it doesn't mean that I won't still be paying extra close attention even if there is nothing there to pay attention to. It's not the first time I have been wrong but (in case you haven't noticed) it is one of the few. hehehe :)

, by Krajcimama

The Beaver

, by Krajcimama

Parenting Questions - one of many

If you've been around for a while or if I know you in real life, you already know that I have 4 beautiful children:

Nate, my 1st born - 5 years old and starting Kindergarten in the fall.

Danika, my only girl, 14 months younger than her older brother (so, she's 4) and at home she is a Diva/Drama Queen all rolled into one - but at school, she's an angel...or so they tell me!

Dean, aka Baby B, one of the twins - although they look nothing alike! 18 months old and into EVERYTHING!

David, aka Baby A, the other half of the twins. My "baby baby" - smallest at birth and still the littlest. But don't let that fool you - he can hold his own.

Up until this point a lot of my parenting has been "in-house" so to speak. I haven't really had to deal with them outside of the house. We have house rules and routines (which we try to stick to but aren't always successful with). Things have been going pretty well lately - which totally explains why I have this feeling like we are facing a big change...

I think that we have reached a point where Nate (and probably Danika, too) won't be contained in the house this summer. I think they are going to want to go outside and play. I think they are going to want to spend most of the day outside. Which has me thinking about how much supervision they need at 5 and 4 years old.

Not to say that I'm going to lock them outside and ignore them all day - but I do have 2 more babies to deal with and we don't have a safe place, yet, for them to roam around in outside. I'm hoping that the yard next door (our new yard!) will be transformed into that place...but I have no idea how long that will take and the weather is bound to get nice before it is done. I have taken the twins out in the stroller and walked around a little while the big kids play...but sometimes they are sleeping or playing and I can't go two directions at once if they are stumbling around freely outside.

I know my kids are still little and I really do feel that they still need a lot of supervision. I also know that I'm very overprotective and petrified that I will make some decision that will cause one of my children to be harmed and then I will spend the rest of my life feeling guilty. A decision like not taking the lid the whole way off the black olive can and just throwing the can in the garbage...those decisions can lead to a day or three spent at Children's Hospital.

In the same respect, though, I don't want to be the hovering parent. I don't want to be that mom that is constantly standing 5 feet away from her child telling them what to do and what not to do. I want them to learn on their own. I want them to make their own decisions and either reap the benefits or pay the consequences. I also want them to be safe and happy, definitely safe and happy if possible. I am scared to death of bullies, though. I am scared to death of people making my children feel anything less than amazing.

I know I can't protect them from everything but does that mean that I shouldn't try? Should I be more like these women? Free Range Parenting sounds like something I would aspire to do but in reality just not be able to follow through with but I haven't done a lot of research on it either. Maybe it would be easier than I think. I'll get back to you on it.

In the meantime, what do you do? Do you sit on the front porch the whole time your kids are playing outside? How old are they? When is it okay to not have them within sight? Is it ever okay? I'm talking about riding a scooter or coloring with chalk on the sidewalk in front of the house - not 3 blocks down the street but also not in a fenced in area.

, by Krajcimama

kids

I should have grabbed the camera

I gave the boys a bath tonight. They were both kind of stinky and we had just had ice cream which found its way into their hair and behind their ears . . . so into the bath they went. It was my initial plan to simply throw 'em in and scrub 'em up and get 'em out. They had other plans, though.

I thought about grabbing the camera before I headed upstairs. I also thought about grabbing my cell phone (which has a camera) but I figured I would probably be too busy keeping both of their heads above the water and making sure no one tried climbing out of the tub to take pictures. They were in the mood to play, though. They sat facing each other in the tub and Dean would back the whole way up to the back of the tub and kick his feet so he slid down and splashed David who laughed hysterically the whole time. Then David would splash Dean before he made his way to the back of the tub again. This went on for a good 4 or 5 minutes. The whole time I kept thinking that I should run and grab the Flip or the DSLR or even my cell phone.

Then, I made a conscious decision to just enjoy the moment and REMEMBER it instead of worrying about capturing it. I LOVE my pictures and my videos. I know that I will appreciate them even more when my kids are older. I try to take pictures of them every day. I have some great pictures of Dean eating mashed potatoes today that I will have to share with you soon. However, I really feel that my constant desire to capture every moment sometimes takes me away from enjoying it. So, I decided there would be other bath times for me to capture and I would just watch...which I did...I watched as David continued to laugh so hard that the ice cream he ate came spewing out of his mouth and made Dean look like a frosted cupcake.

I should have grabbed the camera because then I could have been thinking about how I was going to win $10,000.00 on AFV while I emptied the tub, cleaned it out and gave the boys a second bath...

I love my life! (I'm serious - as much as that was a pain in the butt - I couldn't help but laugh at the same time!)

, by Krajcimama

What I'm Lovin' Wednesday

What I'm Loving Wednesday

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Winners!

, by Krajcimama

The Years ARE Short

I started writing a post this morning about how the twins are driving me crazy these days. They are into EVERYTHING and keep me going in all directions every minute they are awake (BTW ~ they are napping right now).

Then, Nate's Kindergarten Registration packet came in the mail.

I was just telling my mother-in-law last night that I'm not sure how I'm going to do with my first born heading off to Kindergarten. Yes, I'm serious. Me, the one who looks parents in the face, as I carry their screaming 3-year-old into a classroom, and tells them, "She will be fine". I am starting to feel panic about letting someone else take care of my "baby". He may not be screaming but I'm sure I will on the inside. I already feel like screaming, "No! He's too little. He's too sweet. He's not ready for the 'outside' world!"

I know that he will be fine. He is a great kid. He is ready. I keep trying to remind myself about all of the wonderful things that will happen because he is at school. He will be exposed to new things and new people. He will have adults other than Jerry and I telling him things and teaching him things. Now, he does go to preschool now. However, it is the preschool I teach at and I'm really comfortable with him being there, of course. He loves to tell me about the things that his teachers are talking to him about and teaching him. He loves to share new knowledge with Danika at the dinner table. He needs to be a little more independent. I need to give that to him - but, well, I don't want to.

I will, of course. I will smile until I get back in the car after taking him that first day - and then I will cry and fret until he comes home. I'm sure every day will get a little bit easier. I'm sure that I will see how much he loves it and feel better. I know I'm worrying for no reason, but isn't that what mother's do?

I also can hear all of you mothers with High School Seniors or Juniors laughing at me. "Just Wait" - I know...I'm also sure that you can think back to the place where I am right now and remember it like it was yesterday. That's because, the DAYS are LONG but the YEARS are SHORT...

Click here ~ really...it's worth the time.

Oh - and at the end of this very emotional post I'm going to ask you to click here and enter my giveaway, if you haven't already...I have more than 5 posts already but would really like more! :)

, by Krajcimama

Purex Complete Crystals Giveaway!

, by Krajcimama

What I'm Lovin' Wednesday - Picture Edition

, by Krajcimama

Since Having Children...

I have always been a bit of a sensitive person. Movies with too much violence always gave me nightmares or at the very least crazy dreams. I would cry for people I didn't know because of some horrific story I heard on the news. Then, I had children and it got 100 times worse. Not only do I think about what the person is going through but now I also think about what their mother must be feeling or simply feeling it as a mother myself.

I heard the saddest story this weekend about a 13 month old baby at Children's Hospital who has terminal cancer. His parents haven't been to see him in almost 5 months. I understand that it is probably the most painful experience in the world to know that your child is going to die and that all you can do is watch...but I have no idea how you just leave your BABY alone to deal with it. I want to go to the hospital and hold him myself...this is why I am not in the health profession, I don't think I could leave him to come home every day from work.

I saw the movie, The Passion, in the theaters the year it came out. It was unbelievably difficult to watch a man go through that much pain and suffering. I watched it the year after Nate was born . . . I guess I should say I "tried" to watch it the year after Nate was born . . . and I didn't make it past the scene where Mary runs to Jesus when he falls carrying the cross. I sobbed big, gasping for air sobs when Mary tried desperately to clean up all of the blood from the scourging at the pillar. I was seeing something that I grew up knowing about in a totally different light - from Mary's perspective - and it was heartbreaking.

I know how blessed I am to be able to sit here and type about how awful I feel. I know that I am incredibly lucky to have healthy children and live in a warm home with people who love me and who I love. I am so grateful for it and I am going to try to enjoy it a little more every day...because you never know when something devastating is going to happen.

I've been avoiding a lot of news coverage on Japan. I know that it's a little selfish of me but I hate feeling helpless and I am. I hate watching people in pain and they are. I also don't want the kids to see any of it. Nate is a really sensitive little man and I know that the footage would really bother him. I have been praying, though. Praying for all of those who are suffering. Praying for all of those who have lost loved ones. Praying for all of the mothers (and fathers) who have to go through this tragedy with their children...no matter how old. Praying for those who were left with nothing and praying for all of those who will now do amazing things to help all of these people.

, by Krajcimama

Fabric Softener - do you use it?

I can honestly say I don't remember how I found Purex Insiders, but I was really excited when I got the email welcoming me to the group!

The first product that they sent me to try out was the Spring Water Complete Crystals Softener.

I don't use fabric softener. The reason I don't use it is because I have laundry downstairs and I am too busy to finish the laundry when I need to let alone run down to add fabric softener. Also, Danika, David and I all have had reactions to different laundry detergents and I was worried that I would waste money on something that I wouldn't be able to use and would just cause me more work because I had to rewash clothes.

All that being said - I was really excited to try out the Crystals.

I decided to use them on a load of towels first. I figured I would get a good feel for how they worked and not run the risk of having to rewash because towels aren't in contact with our skin for too long. Also, the Crystals boast that they are "Free of oil-based softening ingredients found in liquid softeners" which meant that the towels would still absorb water well...see?

The first thing that I noticed was the smell. I loved it. Fresh but not over powering. I was a little bit disappointed by the dispensing because there were just lines drawn on the bottle to show how much goes in each load. This could be because it was just a sample but I ended up having to dump it in my hand to make sure I didn't go over the amount needed. I will have to see if this is the case with the full size - I bet it does come with a dispenser.

I got this poster to help me see how to use the crystals . . . it wasn't rocket science . . . in fact, my 5 year old could have done it!

I put it in the washer and then threw the towels in the dryer when they were done. They smelled awesome and were actually a lot softer than without the fabric softener. So far, no one has had any reaction to it and I even used it on my sheets! All 6 of us are in that bed daily, so it's a great sign! I think the best thing about them are how easy they are to use - I will definitely be snagging some more of these. I would like to try the other scents, too!

Here's the low down on the Purex Complete Crystals Softener from the Insiders site:

Introducing Purex® Complete Crystals Softener

a purer way to get laundry that smells clean and fresh for weeks. 92% natural, this product’s unique crystal form works differently than traditional oil-based softeners that coat fabrics with oily residue, because it infuses fibers with long-lasting fragrance. In addition, since you add it directly with your laundry, this means no more waiting for the rinse cycle, no messy residual gunk in your washing machine, and no more stains from spilling liquid fabric softener.

How it is used:

Simply add Purex Complete Crystals Softener directly with your laundry at the beginning of every wash cycle to infuse fabrics with long lasting freshness.

How it works:

Laundry scent lovers will perk up as freshness is infused into clothes with this new fabric softener. Over time, traditional oil-based softeners coat fibers causing harmful oily residue to accumulate. Purex Complete Crystals Softeners penetrate fabrics to reduce fiber entanglement and smooth frayed fibers providing a naturally soft feel.

Why it is different:

Do ALL of your laundry—worry free! Purex Complete Crystals Softeners are safe for all laundry and will not harm, wear down or discolor your fabrics like oil-based softeners. Safe for all fabrics, including baby clothes, athletic wear, towels, and whites.

Unlike other softeners, Crystals WILL:

• Preserve the flame retardant benefits of your children’s clothes

• Retain your athletic wear’s wicking ability which draws sweat away from your body

• Maintain your towels’ built-in ability to absorb water

• Keep your white clothing from yellowing and graying vs. using traditional softeners

The product won’t harm your clothes and is safe and convenient for the entire family!

Suggested Retail Price

Purex Complete Crystals Softener is priced from $3.99 to $5.99 depending on retailer

and will be available in food, drug and mass retailers nationwide.

And it comes in these three nifty scents -

Lavender Blossom, Spring Waters and Tropical Splash (TM)

So, long story short, I would definitely give these a try if you are looking for an easy way to soften and freshen your laundry.

“I am a Purex Insider and help spread the word about the Purex® family of laundry products. As an Insider, I receive sample product and incentives in exchange for participating in brand related activities.”

, by Krajcimama

What I'm Loving Wednesday

, by Krajcimama

Dad

My Weekend

As much as I love looking at other people's meal plans, I just am not that excited about sharing mine lately. It's not that I don't have it planned...it's just that I have other things I want to talk about!

This weekend was a pretty good one - other than me being sick and spending most of yesterday upstairs in bed or in the bathroom. TMI? Sorry. I'm finally feeling better today but yesterday was awful.

So, if I was so sick why would I say that this weekend was a good one? Well...because I got to look at these faces -

Two little princesses who were SUPER excited about going to see Disney's Princesses on Ice. They had a wonderful time. We did, too. (Nicole, Mom and I)

I was lucky enough to get some perspective from my friend, Melissa, on my way to buy our $15 snow cones. She had been in line for the same $15 snow cones and was having a little bit of trouble understanding how a snow cone (even if it did come in a cute cup) could possibly cost $15. I mean it's ICE. Which is frozen WATER. Water is pretty accessible so you wouldn't think that it would cost $15. She said something while in line about trying to find a way to justify spending that much money on a snow cone, when another woman in line with her daughter told her that you do it because it's your daughter. She said that you work the extra shift at work to buy the tickets, you go without whatever it is you can go without so that you make a wonderful memory with your daughter and make sure she has the time of her life because you love her. (Now, those weren't the EXACT words. . . but you get the point)

Thanks to Melissa, I almost started crying right there in line for my $15 snow cones. (my little talk with her made me splurge for the $2 collector spoons, too!) I also almost started to cry when I saw this excitement on my daughter's face:

I also ended up buying more stuff than I ever would have if I hadn't run into Melissa and her new perspective. Danika did have a wonderful time and has spent hours flipping through her $20 program and singing songs and telling Nate all about what we saw. It is priceless. I still think that the prices are outrageously elevated and wish that Disney would cut us a break - but I now look at it a little bit differently. I know that the snow cone wasn't worth the money I spent on it but the experience that we shared was worth so much more . . . so I can't complain. At least not too much.

In other news - look who went to the barber shop with Nunnu for the first time!

I was so proud of him! I was nervous that he was going to act like he does when I cut his hair at home but Nunnu said he was perfect! He also took him to Sonic for lunch and to Sam's Club. Nunnu said he was really well behaved and Nate said he had a great time. He even said to me the next day, "Mommy, I think Nunnu liked hanging out with me yesterday because I really liked hanging out with him." *sigh* I want to freeze time and hold on to this sweetness.

, by Krajcimama

52 Weeks #9

, by Krajcimama

What I'm Loving Wednesday

, by Krajcimama