Perfecting Imperfection

I have to admit that I didn't have as Merry a Christmas as I wanted.

I hate to admit it because I want appear to have that "perfect" life that I feel like I should be having but I realize that I'm not perfect and I need to stop trying so hard to be.

Jerry, the kids and I (along with my niece, Mia) and Santa

I think that my expectations of Christmas are set too high.  As an adult, Christmas just doesn't hold the same magic that it does when you are a little kid.  It is a lot of work.  It is a lot of stress.  It is a lot of planning and preparing and wrapping and packing and praying. Even when you have all that done perfectly, you can't control the things that you have no control over - like how long mass will last or which of your 2 year old sons will scream his head off because he would rather eat chocolate than Christmas dinner.  Oddly enough, I think I handled those things pretty well . . . I'm not sure why I felt so down on Christmas Day, but it was a lot worse than I would have EVER expected it to be.

I made sure that the kids had a Merry Christmas and even Jerry had one!  They LOVE the X-Box 360 and Kinect.  (I LOVE watching them play with them!!!  It's hysterical! Jerry is in his GLORY playing Halo again!)  It really is great to give to others and I'm so glad that they had an amazing Christmas!

I'm not sure why that didn't make me ecstatic.  I loved seeing their faces Christmas morning!  I loved hearing the laughs, squeals and giggles.  I loved hearing how happy they were!  (Except Danika . . . she told me Santa didn't understand her because she said she wanted a BARBIE doll house not a regular doll house.  :)

Then it was over.  The over part of it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks.  That, and the fact that I forgot to take my "happy pills" for 2 days in a row because I was too tired to remember and too busy to realize I forgot, made for a weepy, stressed out, puffy eyed me at Christmas dinner.

I'm better now.  I'm actually really excited about the new year and plan on taking it on full force with a whole new plan/outlook on how to get things done!!!  I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment but I have high hopes for this new year!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

You may remember when I talked about the whining problem we have at our house and how I was hoping to find something to fix it.  It's not that I have horrible children.  They are genuinely good kids and usually know how to behave but the CONSTANT whining and fighting is KILLING me!!!

I know they are cute:














but I still wanted some help getting them in shape a bit.

During my search, I stumbled upon the book:

Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman (click on the link for the GoodReads page with some review)

and have to say that I've already found the first chapter (titled: Monday) inspirational . . . as well as practical and kind of common sense.  Although I already knew a lot of the things I read in the book (I haven't started Tuesday, yet) I feel like I need a little bit of support putting some of the things into practice.  It's a lot easier to say you are not going to give in than it is to really stand your ground and NOT give the wailing 4 year old "just one piece of candy" before dinner. . . especially, when you have her 2, 2 year old, brothers wailing behind her.

However, Dr. Leman makes a point that I already know . . . if I'm consistent and stand my ground then I will only have to fight a few battles rather than battle with them my whole life.  They will know that I mean business.  

I also love that he talks about how it isn't REALLY our job to make our children happy ALL the time.  It is actually okay for them to be upset, disappointed, angry or even a little bit sad.  I hate to see my children that way, but I also know that life isn't going to always be there to protect and provide for them like Jerry and I do. That doesn't mean I'm going to make them start paying rent right now or make their own dinners but it does mean that they will be responsible for consequences of their actions.  (It also means there will be a lot of crying, fighting and screaming while we try to revamp our parenting style and put some of this into play. . . . good thing aspirin was on sale at GE a few weeks ago and I stocked up!)

So, today's little experiment ended up being with Danika.  Here's how it went...

Me:  Danika, can you please get me 2 diapers so that I can change your brothers and get them down for their nap?

Danika:  Can't you get them yourself?  You always ask me to do everything.

Me:  So, you are telling me that you won't get the diapers for me and that you don't want to help me anymore?  How would you feel if I didn't help you anymore?

Danika:  You just want me to get the diapers.  Why don't you just go get them?

Me:  Okay, but then the next time you ask for my help I am going to tell you no.

Danika: Fine.

So, I went and got the diapers and changed the boys.  I put them down for their nap and went into the kitchen for a drink.  Danika followed me with the remote control.

Danika:  I want to watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Me:  Go ahead. (as I mosey on up to my laptop and pull out my chair)

Danika:  I need you to turn it on for me.

Me:  Can't you do it yourself?

Danika:  No.

Me:  Hmm...maybe you should have thought of that before you said you couldn't help me with the diapers.  Sorry.

What followed was kind of cool.  Danika looked shocked and kind of hurt (okay, I'm not saying that seeing my daughter hurt was fun).  Then, she started to cry a little . . . but it wasn't the big sobs that she usually throws at me when she wants something and doesn't get her way.  This time, it was kind of like a "I know I screwed up" whimper.  She went into the living room and found something else to do and Rudolph still isn't on.

Do I think I won that one?  Not necessarily...we will have to see what happens.  It will depend on if she will help me the next time I need something or not.  I will say that it felt good to set a consequence and follow through with it, though.  It was so immediate that I know she understood.

I'll keep you posted and am hoping to read Tuesday later tonight!  :)

It's almost (but not quite) a month since I've posted a blog post . . . and I really, truly have missed blogging.  I could try to make excuses for why I haven't blogged and blame my kids . . . they have been SICK SICK SICK for the past month or so.  They were even kind enough to pass the sickness on to me so that I had to spend Thanksgiving Eve praying to the porcelain god.  (I remember Thanksgiving Eves of the past where I also said a few prayers to that deity, but this was no where near as much fun beforehand).

I could blame it on that . . . but I also could have gotten my butt to my laptop a few days after being sick and just jotted a post or two.  The truth is, I just haven't "felt" it lately.  I haven't been myself lately.  I have been more stressed out than usual and a lot more scatterbrained.

The twins have been horrific when I'm home alone with them - they've been pretty horrific when Jerry is home with me, too...however, they seem to be really happy when I'm not around.  I'm starting to get a complex about it.  The thing is, they want my attention all to themselves and when I try to make breakfast, lunch, heat up dinner, sit down at my laptop or start to clip some coupons they go NUTS!  They want to be on my lap, they want to see what I'm doing and they want to help.  It's exhausting and frustrating.

Here's just a few of the things you missed around here!

• Thanksgiving went really well after I was done throwing up...here's a picture (NOT of me throwing up)                                                                                                                                                                                         
• I'm done Christmas shopping - well . . . that's not 100% true, I still have to go and buy stuff to put in the kids stockings.  The major stuff is taken care of and I've already WRAPPED everything, too!!!
• Tinsel and Holly (our Magic Elf elves) have been up to their old tricks again...the kids seem less excited about it this year but still run downstairs EVERY morning to see what Tinsel and Holly did that night.  Here's some of my favorites:

The last two days have actually been pretty good days. Yesterday, we took all 4 kids to the mall and then to my SIL's house for dinner. The kids had a blast and were pretty happy - for the most part. The twins still had their "we're 2" moments but they were mostly short lived.

Today, I think they were happy to be home! We did a lot of snuggling and we watched a lot of tv. I didn't get on my laptop until after 2 o'clock!!

While dinner was cooking the twins and Danika were sitting in a row sharing some Fritos, laughing and watching a movie. It was adorable. That's what I want to remember about today. Not that 15 minutes later there were Fritos all over the living room and no one ate dinner because of how many Fritos they ate - I just want to remember how adorable they were while they were laughing and sharing. :)

Today, I went to my SIL's house for dinner today and helped her son, Lochlin, with his homework assignment to disguise a turkey so that it wouldn't be noticed at Thanksgiving.

Here's what it looked like when we were done:

Dear Nate,

Happy 6th Birthday!  I can't believe it was 6 years ago that you were born.  I remember so much about that time and yet, it seems so much LONGER than 6 years ago!  If anyone would have told me that you would have a sister and 2 brothers by the time you were 4, I would have told them they were NUTS!  But . . . here we are and you are an awesome big brother!


This year was a BIG year for you (and me).  It was the first time I actually sent you to school instead of having you in school with me.  I knew you were ready.  I knew you were going to do great and that you needed to kind of spread your wings a tiny bit and do something on your own - you are awesome at it, by the way.  I will say, though, that I missed you as soon as I put you on the bus and it was probably one of the longest days of my life until you stepped off the bus at 3:29.

Now, we are both old pros!  I still love the fact that you want me to get out of the car and actually walk you to the corner when we drive...it reminds me that you still need me.  I also love the days when PapPap comes and sits with the other kids and I walk down to get you at the bus stop because you hold my hand the whole way home. We don't really get too much time just the 2 of us anymore and I love that 5 minute walk!

You are also getting to be so smart!  You surprise me everyday by the things you know and how well you can read things.  I will tell you - I am probably going to have to be more on my toes because you are starting to know the words I spell to Nana on the phone and you can read things I leave up on my laptop.  I'm so proud of you.

You are still a very sensitive little boy.  I worry sometimes that people will hurt your feelings and I really do want to protect you from that but I also know that you are a strong and sensitive little boy and you will have no problem taking care of yourself.  I love that you decided that you wanted to keep up with ice skating and hockey . . . I know you will get better at it with practice and baseball season is coming up again, too!!!

Thank you so much for being such a wonderful son!  You really are amazing and I've learned so much being your mom.  You taught me how to be a mom!  You are a great role model for your brothers and sister and we all love you so much!

Now, you HAVE to stop leaving your shoes and socks in the middle of the floor and put your clothes in the hamper at night and you will be perfect!  hehehe

I love you,
Mama

Tomorrow my first born will be turning 6. I remember so much about the time when he was first born and brand new. I can't believe he's growing so fast - fast enough to come off the school bus wearing this crown from his teacher. I love that he still had it in getting off the bus and didn't just shove it in his backpack. He is truly an awesome kid!

I may have vented a little bit about how much earlier the Christmas season seems to be starting lately.  Honestly . . . I thought my husband was lying when he said that 99.7 was already doing their 24 hours a day Christmas Music thing.  He wasn't.  The kids and I listened to Harry Connick Jr. singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on the way home from Nana's tonight - I figured it would quiet them down.  It did.

Growing up an Errico, I have always been a pretty big believer in the "Christmas DOESN'T start until AFTER Santa shows up in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade" and now that I'm a Krajci, I also believe that it requires a viewing of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation after dinner on Thanksgiving to really get going.

So, needless to say, when a small group of my preschoolers started singing Jingle Bells this afternoon I kind of cringed.  Then I gasped and said, "Noooo ~ it's not time to sing Jingle Bells, yet!!!"  Of course, preschoolers find this reaction hysterical and a cue to sing louder and get the rest of the preschoolers involved.  :)  If you ask them, their teacher is a riot.

I will say one thing, though.  The appearance of the Christmas Carols this early and the energy that the kids had today made me VERY happy that we only have 5 days of school (because we are Tuesday/Thursday only) in December!!!  These kids are so excited ALREADY!!!  You would think that they are going to get a bunch of presents or something!  hehehe  (FYI . . . it isn't too early for ME to start counting the days until Christmas Vacation . . . if they can start Christmas Carols, I can start counting down!)

I looked into how to get my kiddos to start acting the way I want them to act today.  Of course, I don't have unrealistic expectations that I'm going to have 4 perfect children.  What family have you ever heard of that has 4 perfect children?  Even the Brady Bunch had Jan . . . and in the movie she was positively creepy.

I do know that I am going to have to get a little bit more organized and active with my children if I'm going to get them to where I want them, though.  I'm guessing by what I read today that this is going to be a long search.  I'm not going to find the perfect thing to change my crazy kids the very first day that I try.  Instead, I'm going to have to really research to find something that fits our family and our current situation.

Like I said, I'm aiming for the beginning of January to really start something - so I have the time to prep and research.

I think the first thing that I need to do is really think about what it is that I want my children to do differently.  Just saying, "I want them to stop driving me crazy" isn't going to cut it.  So, Baby Step #1 is going to be coming up with some goals that I want to achieve...then I will have to look into the best way to achieve them.

I found this article on 15 Secrets of Happy Families

Here are 3 that I'm going to start trying to incorporate right away:

Break Bread Together -We tried this in the past and it was disastrous.  The babies just don't seem to want to eat in the dining room with the rest of us...know why?  Because I haven't made a point to make them...I think this is going to change in the upcoming weeks.

Build and Honor Rituals - we have a lot of things that we do . . . but none on a regular basis or with any kind of schedule.  I think I'm going to come up with a few things that we do a few times a week just to help us develop rituals we have as a family...and then those will become priorities - above anything else that may come up and try to get in the way.

Encourage Sibling Harmony - I think this is something I'm going to start doing now . . . really stressing how lucky they are to have each other.  It isn't always easy for them to see.  When Dean and David wreck a Lego masterpiece that Nate had been working on, I practically see the steam coming out of his ears.  Luckily, he doesn't go after the babies because he knows they are babies.  I have to work on somehow getting him to realize that he is lucky to have a baby brother (or 2) who will do that and annoy him.  :)

Okay - that's enough to think about tonight!  More tomorrow!  :)

The past few days have been rough.  Even with me being gone all day Sunday, I feel like I've been listening to whining, crying, cranky kids WAY too much lately.

I need some help.

I'm planning on scouring the internet tomorrow for some sort of reward/behavior program that is REALLY easy to use but REALLY effective.  The thing is . . . I need something that is going to be easy for me to keep up with.  We tried this really neat chart thing with jobs that the kids had to do every day and then they got tokens for the jobs and then they could trade the tokens in for some sort of a reward. . . it lasted about 3 days before they could care less and things were too crazy for me to be able to keep them on track.  It's important that you remember I currently have 2 two year olds in the house.  They wreak havoc every chance they get - at least from the time they wake up until they are back asleep.

I have decided that the only solution for tonight's dilemma of too much whining is to add a little wine to the mix and call it a night . . . I'm hoping to find something inspirational online tomorrow to help with my lack of structure, whining children (ages soon to be 6 and almost 5) and always throwing a tantrum 2 year olds.

Any help would be GREATLY appreciated but I totally understand if you just want to grab a glass and laugh at me from your comfy/quiet computer screen.  :)

Yesterday, I posted this before going to bed . . . Exhaustion Doesn't Cover It.

I'm still exhausted and, according to my husband, I still smell like onions.  Unfortunately, I woke up WAY too late to get a shower this morning so everyone is going to just have to suffer until the twins take their nap and I can grab one.

On a positive note - I'm not nearly as sore as I was last month.  Last month, I could barely walk the day after our OAMC Day.  Today - I actually don't feel bad at all!  I'm going to contribute that to my SIL telling me that I had to keep my shoes on all day.  Although I very rarely wear my shoes when I'm inside,  I took her advice and my hips and back feel fine today!

I'm also happy to report that THE FREEZER IS FULL - again!!!


This month we made:

For Breakfast -

Harvest Pancakes 

Before the Oven

After the oven

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

This is the second time (I think) that I am using the Blogger app on my iPhone to write a post. I was all ready to go to sleep when I remembered that I forgot to write today. I'm WAY too tired to go back downstairs to type this up on the laptop . . . so, this is what you get.

Today way another successful cooking day. I plan on sharing pictures and stories about our day tomorrow - but I did want to tell you a little bit about it tonight. Mainly that I'm so exhausted I can barely move. I have no idea how professionals cook for a lot of people for hours at a time. I could never do that every day.

Our day basically broke down like this:

Packed the car @ 7:30
Got to Christine's @ 8:00
Started cooking - after unloading the car @ 8:30
Cooked until 7:30 pm
Planned next month's shopping list and took inventory until 8:00
Jim helped me load the car back up @ 8:00
Home by 8:30

In bed @ 10:15

I plan on being sound asleep in 15 minutes and know it will not be a problem. I'm going to get the best night's sleep I will get all month because I'm exhausted AND because I feel a huge sense of accomplishment, which will help my mind to stop thinking about what else I should/could have done today!

Good night all - more about today . . . tomorrow!

Tomorrow will be my 3rd time spending a day at my friend Christine's house following Once a Month Mom's Once a Month Cooking menu.  I am excited for a few reasons and already kind of tired thinking about it.

I'm excited because -

1.  I get to spend all day with Christine and her Family.  :)  I love that her girls know the house is going to be filled with music and good smells when I come over!  Her husband, Jim, is always so nice to me, too . . . not that we get to talk much but he is a big help when I have to lug everything back to the car at the end of the day - he also is the one who makes sure we take breaks to eat something so we don't fall over.
2. I get to try new things - I get to learn how to do new things in the kitchen.  Each month, I've learned something new and I'm sure that next month won't be an exception!  We are making Granola Bars!!!!  I've never done that before!
3. I get to stock up my freezer with new meals.  I've been enjoying the things that we have but I will say that by the time our next cooking day rolls around I am ready to try some new stuff.  I still have some stuff from September (only 1 frozen Baked Ziti) and some from October in the freezer. It will be nice to be able to add some new stuff to the menu, though.
4. I'm also excited that I get a break from my kids.  I know . . . what a horrible thing to say . . . but this week I only worked one day.  So, I've been at home with them since Wednesday - with the exception of the 2 hours that I went grocery shopping with Jerry last night.  I need a break.  It will also make Monday so much easier to deal with.

Today is Veteran's Day - it really does mean more than the kids being off of school, the banks and post offices being closed.  This morning on Facebook I came across this explanation of what a Veteran is . . .

My grandfather was an amazing man - think John Wayne . . . he was quiet and never really made a fuss (at least not that I know of) but when he did have something to say, everyone listened.  He worked in the Steel Mill after serving in WWII.  He was a hard worker.  I remember my grandfather as a man of few words but he had the best laugh in the whole world.  It was a big laugh.  A big belly laugh that would make you smile.  I'm sad that he isn't here to meet my children.  I know he would have loved them and they would have adored him.  He is definitely one of my heroes.

Next up is a guy who I've always considered my "little brother" - even though we are in no way related.


Derek is the handsome one on the left . . . with the glasses.  We didn't really meet until I was already in high school but we became really close as we both went through High School and I went off to college.  I remember Derek's going away party when he left for Basic but I don't think it really sunk in what he was really doing.  I talked to his beautiful wife, Jodi, a lot when he was deployed and I remember thinking how strong they all were while he was gone.  Derek has 2 awesome children, Dominic and Mia, who both had to make sacrifices, too.  After he came home, Derek would tell me stories of what he did while he was deployed and all I could think of at the time was, "Thank God you didn't tell me that when you were gone!"  I really do appreciate his sacrifices and the risks he took.  He even made it a point to fly home for my wedding!  He told them his sister was getting married!  :)  I remember practically attacking him when I saw him the night of the rehearsal dinner!  Derek is definitely another one of my heroes.

Speaking of my wedding, the next Veteran I would like to thank was my husband's roommate in college and one of the groomsmen in our wedding . . .


Justin, or Uncle Lu Lu (as the kids knew him), is one of the funniest guys I've ever met.  I always had a great time when he was around.  He is also one of the nicest guys I know.  I remember when we moved into our house . . . Justin had just come back from being deployed and he stopped over to help us take down wallpaper and paint.  He also bought us our microwave - that we still use to this day - as a wedding shower present.  I remember him bringing microwave popcorn over, too . . . so we could try it out and eat popcorn while we painted.  Life has kind of gotten in the way of us keeping in touch with Justin and we miss him a lot (especially during the summer and grilling season because he was always around to help us test new barbecue recipes and throw back a couple beers) - but he pops into conversations every once in while and we are able to keep tabs on each other through the power of Facebook.  Justin is another one of my heroes!

Another guy who is always willing to help test out some recipes and throw a few back is Matt.


Matt and I became friends just from being around the same people.  Honestly, for a while I thought he was literally insane.  However, after a couple of late night conversations, I now know that Matt is one of the smartest people I know.  Matt and Jerry are hysterical to watch together.  They are almost EXACT opposites in personality but when they are together you can't help but laugh at what ensues.  I remember when Matt was leaving to be deployed - I wanted to give him something.  He's not very religious but he had commented a few times about how he liked my grandfather's rosary...so, I told him to take it with him.  He didn't want to because of the sentimental value it held for me, being my grandfather's and all, but I told him I wasn't giving it to him . . . just letting him borrow it!  Jerry and I were lucky enough to attend Matt's wedding a little over a year ago.  It was a great party and we are so happy for him!  Matt is certainly one of my heroes.

Last but not least is a guy I haven't seen in probably 10 years or more . . .


I knew JR from good old St. Joseph High School.  JR and I weren't super close in High School, but we hung out with the same people.  He dated a few of my friends and I dated at least one of his.  We would see each other at parties and later on at the weddings of friends.  I remember someone telling me about JR joining the Marines and I was surprised.  Then I saw JR on Facebook a while later and was totally amazed at how different (and amazing) he looked!  He now has a beautiful family and loves what he does.  In an odd sort of way I was kind of proud of him . . . it's only odd because I don't know what right I have to be proud of him but I am.  JR is absolutely one of my heroes.

Since having children, I realize even more how important our service men and women are to me.  I appreciate that they protect me but I am absolutely humbled and eternally grateful for the fact that they protect my 4 children in a way that I cannot.

Thanks to all of you - the ones I've mentioned and the ones who I haven't - it amazes me that you would sacrifice so much for people that you don't know.  You are truly amazing men and women and I can only hope to raise my children as well as your parents raised you!  :)

It hasn't been a really overly joyful atmosphere at our house the past couple of days.  We've tried to hide it from the kiddos as much as possible - in fact, I'm pretty sure they haven't heard anything about it - but Jerry and I have been horrified by the details of the PSU scandal that has been rocking the university and it's alumni.  Jerry is one of those alumni.  He didn't play football or any other official university sport but he did love his school . . . he still does love it.

It is a beautiful campus.  The surrounding areas are quaint and scream college life.  I loved the weekends I would spend up there with Jerry...it really is a special place.

The scandal doesn't change that.  I think a lot of people are losing sight of what is important in the whole thing.  I've seen several people saying how it is unfair to this person or that person.  The ONLY people who I feel bad for in this whole situation are those poor, innocent boys who were robbed of their childhood and who suffered something no child should EVER suffer.

I also feel bad for the football players that currently play for Penn State.  Rest assured, I know this scandal isn't about football - other than the sick individual who is ultimately to blame was part of the football program.  It has nothing to do with the current football program - but they are unfortunately getting a lot of backlash from it.  I feel bad for them for that.  I would hate to be known as part of the team when Joe Pa was fired.  It isn't fair that their football careers are overshadowed by this.  It isn't fair to any of the students.  It's just another reason to dislike the man behind it all - Jerry Sandusky.

I don't know too many details about what is going on.  I don't really want to know.  I get so angry when I read about adults who abuse children.  I get so sad and scared for my children.  I get so incredibly irate that ANY adult would be able to hurt a child like that while other adults KNOW what is going on.

 I'm not sure if you all have seen that YouTube video where the father, Judge William Adams, beats his disabled daughter for using the internet.  It is REALLY disturbing and something I wasn't sure I wanted to watch.  I did watch it.  I'll be honest with you and say that what the father did was awful.  I felt horrible for that girl BUT what the mother did was WAY worse, or at least as bad, in my opinion!  I have no idea how she could allow her husband to do that to her daughter and to tell her daughter to lay down and take it like a woman (I don't know if that is exactly what she said . . . but it is close) - I was horrified.

As an educator, I know I have a responsibility to make sure that the children I teach are safe.  It is my responsibility to make sure that they are safe at school but also that they are safe at home.  I'm required BY LAW to report any kind of abuse that I witness or even have strong suspicion of taking place.  I have been lucky enough to never have to do that . . . but I would if I had to.  If I had a child come to me or another person come to me and tell me that there was abuse taking place, I would have no problems calling authorities to let them know.  I would also tell my supervisor what I was going to do but I also know that it is MY responsibility to make the call.  I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't make the call . . . I don't know how they continued with day to day life knowing what they knew and doing nothing about it.

As a mother, I know that I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing like this happens to my children.  I also know that I can't always be there.  I can't always have them in my sight.  What do you do?

My roommate in college has a blog and she wrote the most awesome post about this whole thing:

Comm Couture on PSU

I felt better after reading it.  I felt like I knew what I had to do.  I felt like my boys will be okay if I follow her suggestions.  (And my little girl, of course . . . but I think she will have a lot more protection than just me.  hehehe)  Thanks, Jess . . . I needed that!

I think every mother of multiple children who stays at home looks forward to the day when they will enjoy peaceful "quiet" mornings.  I know that my mornings are much more peaceful when it is just me and the boys than when we are all home.  I'm gearing up for a long weekend - with all 4 kiddos - on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

This morning, I enjoyed an unusually peaceful and relaxing morning.  My co-worker/friend, Juli, picked Danika up for school and then I headed to the bus stop to drop Nate off.  When we got back, I put on a movie that the boys had never seen, gave them cupcakes, picked up the Legos and started the dishwasher.  Then, I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down in front of my computer . . . for a full hour . . . and enjoyed EVERY minute of it.

Here's some pictures of the boys enjoying their cupcakes:




Cupcakes for breakfast?  Yeah . . . you're looking at #3 and #4 - they get away with SO much more!

I'm looking forward to not having to go anywhere on Friday or Saturday morning.  I'm looking forward to not rushing around and packing a lunch or searching for socks and shoes.  I'm also looking forward to getting some work done.  I'm hoping that the "big" kids will help with the "little" ones and that maybe Mommy can finally get the laundry done.

I don't mind blogging every day.  In fact, I could probably blog a couple times a day if I had enough time.  There is certainly enough "bloggable" material around here.  From my daughter who is the BIGGEST drama queen I've ever met to my twins who both have different styles of biting me when I tick them off.

(Dean bites like he wants to bite through my skin . . . David bites like he wants to rip a piece of my skin off . . . both hurt like hell!!!)

Today, we had a parent/teacher conference with Nate's teacher and he threw out the "gifted" suggestion - now, Nate didn't quite make the cut last month when he had a test done . . . but they are going to do it again in January and his teacher thinks the results will be different.  He did tell me not to get worked up either way because he may or may not qualify in the long run . . . but he brought it up anyway.

So, of course I'm going to look into it and see what I can do to help him - if there is anything I can do.  I'm thinking "gifted" is probably one of those things you just are and can't learn to be, right?

What does all this have to do with having blogging problems?

I don't have pictures of any of it.  I don't like to blog without having some kind of picture to go along with what I'm writing about.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's because I am such a visual person.  I like to see things when I'm reading about them . . . so I also like to show pictures when I am writing.

I'm not sure how to overcome this feeling that I need a picture for every blog post.  I don't even know if I should.  It's probably better to have a picture, right?

When blogging everyday, though, that is tough.

Any suggestions?  Ideas?  If you are a blogger, what do you do?

More later . . . pictures FOR SURE tomorrow!!!  ;)

While I admit that I complained about people getting into the Christmas "spirit" earlier and earlier, I will admit that I have been doing a little Christmas planning of my own the past few weeks.

If you have been reading my blog a while, you will remember that we had some mischievous visitors that came to stay with us from Thanksgiving to Christmas.

Our Elf Magic Elves - Tinsel and Holly!!!

Would post from the parking lot of an evening tailgate before heading into the game!! NaBloPoMo at it's finest!!!

Here we go!!!

I'm sure it is a common complaint. Christmas stuff starts WAY too early these days. There are Christmas things up in the aisles of Walmart, Walgreens and Kmart. The Black Friday ads have started leaking and Christmas lists are being made from toy catalogs that showed up in the newspaper last week.

I really do feel like it is earlier every year.

I usually don't complain about it too much because there isn't much that anyone can do about it BUT when we we turned the corner to come home tonight we were greeted by Christmas lights!!!

I'm thinking it was only because the weather has been nice and they were getting it done now but won't light them until closer to Christmas. I'm hoping that is it because I will hear "Is it Christmas yet?" everyday soon enough - the lights will just make it worse! They went running down the street to see them as soon as the car stopped.

It's gonna be a long November.

I really don't watch too much entertainment news.  It depresses me.  Like most people in my "situation", money is an issue right now.

By my situation I mean

• One full-time income
• 4 small children
• One part-time income that is done for the love of the job and definitely NOT the money
• Credit Card Bills
• Mortgage
• 2 Car Payments
• Utilities and Groceries

Two of my all time favorite show were Twin Peaks and The X-Files.  I will be the first to admit that it was in part do to the fact that I had giant crushes on the male leads in both shows (Kyle McLaughlin and David Duchovny) but another "draw" to both of the shows was that they were about things that couldn't easily be explained.

Twin Peaks was by far the most confusing and bizarre television show I had watched up to this past October.  It lasted 2 seasons and I can vividly remember sitting with my friend, Erin, watching the finale of season 2 when I was in my Freshman Year of High School.  I loved that I didn't understand what was going on.  I loved that so much of it was left open to interpretation.  I loved that people had theories and spent hours dissecting the little details about why David Lynch did the things he did.  If I were him . . . I would have thrown crazy stuff in there just to see what people thought it meant.  (I'll probably google it to see if he ever did that when I'm done with this post!)  Twin Peaks was amazing - from the theme song to the cook books that told you exactly how to make the perfect Cherry Pie for Agent Cooper!  I was hooked and so disappointed when they canceled it.


The X-Files was a completely different kind of obsession for me.  From the very beginning I wanted Mulder and Scully to be together.  Their relationship was a HUGE part of why I loved the show.  I loved how they intellectually flirted with each other and how there was always some kind of tension between them . . . and those moments when the tension gave way or disappeared were awesome.



The X-Files was the perfect show for that time of my life.  I could probably write at least 6 more blog posts or even a book about how the show seemed to answer questions for me before I asked them or how the Sunday night tradition of watching them with my best friend, Jason, and eating sunflower seeds (because Mulder loved them) was something that I NEEDED each week.

When they cancelled The X-Files, I thought I was going to cry.  It was time, I know.  The ending was okay - not great but okay.  It left me with a void, though...and it has yet to be filled.

I'm not saying that this new show is going to take the place of either of these shows but it has caught my attention...American Horror Story is my new "show".



I watched the pilot and swore I wouldn't watch another episode.  It freaked me out.  It scared me.  I lost sleep. It made me paranoid and confused the heck out of me.  I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Then, my niece mentioned it on facebook and I wanted to know what happened in the second episode.  I wanted to know what happened to Violet and Ben and Vivien.  I wanted to understand more about Tate (his character intrigues me the most).  I wasn't sure I wanted to see a whole lot more of Jessica Lange as Constance, though...she freaks me out...a lot.

So, I went and looked On-Demand and was really disappointed to see that it wasn't available, yet!!!  The next three days, I kept checking.  Until finally, it was there.  I watched it.  Then, I set up the DVR to tape every new episode so that I wouldn't have to wait to see them from now on.

I'm hooked.

Last night, I watched the second part of the Halloween Part 1 and 2 episodes.  I LOVED it!  I'm still confused but I think that I'm starting to understand a little bit more about who is alive and who is dead.  I'm starting to see how some of them died and why they aren't "gone".  There are still a TON of unanswered questions, though . . . and I'm looking forward to finding the answers.

I wonder if there is a reason behind me liking these crazy shows?  I also like some "normal" shows . . . Parenthood, Glee, The Good Wife, The Next Iron Chef and The Walking Dead (wait, is that "normal"?  Zombie Apocalypse shows are really "in" right now so they must be, right?)  Most nights, though, Jerry and I will curl up to an episode or two of Ghost Adventures or Ghost Hunters.  Is this a sign of something?  Am I weird?  I could post pictures of all the hot guys in those not normal shows . . . maybe that would make me seem more normal.  :)

It started out as a threat that backfired.

"Danika Rae, if you don't stop your whining and crying until I'm done brushing your hair I'm taking you to get it all chopped off!!!"

"Okay, Mommy.  I want a haircut like you..." She actually sniffed a little and looked at me with her big brown eyes when she said this - so, I knew I was done for and she was finally going to get her haircut.

Now, with my boys I don't have a problem just shaving their heads because soon enough they will have enough hair back on their head to not look too goofy.  With Danika, though, I figured that I'd better call in a professional because there is NO WAY I was going to even attempt a trim, let alone a major haircut like this one!!!

The before shot - she had never had a "real" haircut, just a trim

Pulled back and ready to go - we decided on taking 11 inches off

She looks a little nervous as Amy starts the cutting

Here she is holding her ponytail that was just on her head

Finished product

Such a cutie

She only cried once last night before going to bed and told me that she wanted me to put her hair back on.  However, I know she understands that isn't possible.  I think she was just overtired and when she is overtired she finds the most ridiculous things to whine about . . . actually, she will whine about ANYTHING when she is overtired.

She was VERY excited to go to school today and show off her new do.  I've already heard that she's telling people not to worry . . . it'll grow back.  :)

I know I'm going to miss the long hair a bit because it was so cute and she always looked adorable BUT I'm not going to miss the fighting and crying and tears.  I would rather her be happy and she still looks cute, just a little more grown up than before.  And . . . it'll grow back!  hehehe

Against me, that is. . . I remember the first time I tried doing NaBloPoMo and my husband and in-laws chuckled as I tried sneaking off into the computer room at their house to log on before midnight to get a post in so I wouldn't be "out".  It's kind of funny to think that I felt this imaginary pressure (or self inflicted may be a better word) to post every day/night for a month...but I will say that trying to do it for a month made blogging more of a priority and a bit of a habit - something it hasn't been in the last few months.

So - I will be trying NaBloPoMo again this year.


I will try to have the posts be more than just - "I have to blog so I'm going to ramble" posts . . . but I'm pretty sure one or two of them will fall into that category.  :)

For now, I'm just going to warn you that the posts are coming and that I'm a little bit excited about it.  I miss blogging.  Life got in the way of me being able to record what's been going on - *side note: can you BELIEVE I didn't get ONE picture of my kids in their Halloween costumes tonight?!?!?  I'm going to make them put them on again tomorrow so I can get at least one group shot of my lovies.

I'm sure that life will continue to be busy and that I will have a hard time now and then but I'm going to give it my best effort!

Wish me luck!  I hope I don't bore you all too badly!  :)

It's very possible that this topic has come up before on my blog.  I know that it is something that moms of little ones have no problem talking about because it is such a big part of dealing with little ones.  Changing diapers . . . I've changed SO many diaper this past week that I'm going to have to order my normal "big box" from Amazon at least a week early so we don't run out!!!

The reason?  Diarrhea.  The WORST I've ever seen in one of my babies . . . and it's coming out of 2 of them!!!

I know.  TMI.  If you can't handle that you should probably stop reading because it's only going to get worse. The truth is, it's all I've been able to think about because it's all I've been dealing with for the last week.

I hate when my kids are sick.  Sniffles and a cough I can handle, though.  Fevers, puking and diarrhea scares the crap outta me, though.  We had all 3 going on this past week with the twins.  It started with Dean on Tuesday.  Jerry had to deal with most of it because he is home with them on Tuesdays.  Dean had a fever, was puking and well . . . the poop was BAD!  I called the nurse on Friday and explained what was going on.  She told me what to do to make sure he wasn't dehydrated (I had to put a paper towel in his diaper near his pee pee) and what to try to get him to eat since he wasn't throwing up anymore.

David got it on Saturday - and he had all the same things going on.  Luckily, I knew what I was dealing with and what I needed to do.

The problem is that dehydration scares me to death.  I always hear the story about how I dehydrated when I was little and I had to stay in the hospital for at least 1 night.  I've already stayed at the hospital overnight . . . I don't like it.  I don't want to do it again any time soon.  So - I got myself all worked up about keeping them hydrated . . . but when you are dealing with it from both ends . . . it gets tricky.  You don't want to put too much in their stomach if they are just going to throw it back up but you need to make sure they are crying tears and peeing.  Which is really tough when the diaper smells so bad you don't want to look at it any longer than you have to.

I'm happy to report, though, that we are on the mend.  They still have their poop problem going on but the fevers are long gone and no one has puked since Saturday!

I know they look so upset here . . .



And these were taken Saturday . . . Maybe I just worry too much.

One thing is for sure . . . If I don't have to change another poopy diaper for a while I won't be heartbroken at all.

I have always had a tough time with death, but tragedies like this are even harder for me to understand.

My thoughts always turn to the family that is left behind to try to find answers and move on as well all of the friends and coworkers - some of them, in this case, were there when the whole thing happened.

I hate when people are hurting and I'm helpless to do anything.  It's part of the reason I couldn't get into any kind of medical profession.  It doesn't matter if I know them or not . . . seeing other people in pain has an effect on me that I can't really explain.  Being a mother has intensified that feeling.

I think about his parents and how they may have reacted when they were first told the news and how they are dealing with it all now . . . how I would deal with it if it were one of my sons.  I think about his wife and how she has to be strong for her boys. I don't really know how I would be able to do it because I turn to Jerry to be that strength for me . . . how do you do it if the person who was your strength isn't there?

Here is a link to the Final Roll Call for Derek Kotecki it's chilling and heartbreaking.


I woke up this morning still unsure if I was going to head up to Freeport Road to pay my respects and honor Officer Kotecki and his family as the funeral procession went by.  I really wanted to go.  I felt the need to go.  There isn't much that I can do and I really didn't know him or his family but my heart just aches for them.  I wanted to show a tiny bit of support.  I'm so glad that I decided to just do it and take the twins and Danika up to Juli's house and walk over with her, Kasie and the kids.

Dean holding his flag to honor Officer Kotecki

I can't really describe what it was like to stand there.  I felt like I had to make eye contact with as many of the officers driving by and somehow convey to them through that eye contact that I really appreciate what they do.  I felt like I wanted to show them my children and tell each and every one of them that I love them more than they can imagine for helping to keep us safe.  I also wanted them to know that, I know it isn't enough, but I always pray for their safety when I hear sirens.

Bob Donaldson/Post-Gazette