Friday, March 26, 2010

Could it be?

So, if you've been following along at home, you may have noticed that I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.  I did get to sleep in until 8 am this morning - but was up from 4 - 5 with the babies.  It's amazing what not getting enough sleep does to me.  I become a different person - it's really hard for me to stay positive and happy when I'm exhausted.  I become this paranoid, crazy person who just can't relax.  Case in point, Mommy Group last night.

About 5 months ago a group of women who all have one friend in common were brought together by that friend.  It was actually really a great idea for us all to get out and meet some other moms.  I've met some really nice women and generally have a great time when we meet.  It was kind of a ground rule that we would try not to get like most groups of women do - we were not going to judge each other...we were not going to try to one-up each other...we were just going to laugh and have a great time.  My favorite meeting to date was our Christmas one - we had a cookie exchange and I swear I laughed more than I had in a REALLY long time.  I was actually sad to leave!

Our group met last month, but for some reason I couldn't be there.  I missed them so much...which is funny because we only see each other once a month - it's funny how you can miss people you barely see to begin with and don't really know all that well. 

Anyway, we met last night and I almost didn't go.  I was tired.  I was frazzled.  I just wasn't myself.  I'm sure it showed, too.  Tired, paranoid me took over and, even though I did have a great time, I left without the "wow, that was great" feeling I usually have.  I actually felt out of place - I'm not sure why, but I'm betting it was because I probably wasn't fully present...I was too tired and frazzled.  Now, if you are part of the Mommy Group and reading this - I hope that you don't think I'm complaining about anything in particular...it was really more of a not being able to relax and sitting across the room from everyone so I was a little out of it.  I will say, though - the food was awesome as usual!
 
I just wasn't comfortable - I felt like I was in High School again...I loved High School, but I didn't really have a lot of really close female friends during my Junior and Senior year.  The problem with hanging out with a lot of guys when you are younger is that their wives (and the guy you end up marrying) aren't really appreciative of you continuing your friendship at the level it was before anyone got married.  I'm going to have to make sure my daughter understands this and makes an extra effort to have some girlfriends - then again, my closest girlfriends moved out of state...I still have a few who are close enough for us to get together now and then - but life usually gets in the way of that, too.

I know that this is me and not the mommies at Mommy Group because I've been feeling the same way at work, a little.  Just like I've been on the outside watching - like I'm not participating.  It's like I'm not in on some secret that everyone else knows - and it's something about me...is this a common side effect of lack of sleep?  I'm blaming it on no sleep either way!

I hope to catch up this weekend and maybe enjoy Book Club on Monday!  Of course, I haven't finished the book - but I'm not going to let myself loose any sleep over that! 

Oh, and I think I am going to do Friday Follow - if you are here from Friday Follow, leave me a comment and I will head on over to follow you back!  :)

Friday Follow




MckLinky Blog Hop