Saturday, October 2, 2010

Sentimental Saturday

Who knows if this will stick - but today I had a brilliant idea about a weekly post that I could try out...since I'm working on trying to be a more "organized" blogger.

My idea is to do a Sentimental Saturday post where I talk about something from my past that has a story that I am comfortable telling my children.  At first, I thought it might have too much of a My Life (the Michael Keaton movie) vibe but I soon remembered that a big part of the reason I blog is so that my kids will have a way to look back and get to know me and remember things we did while they were little.  :)  So, I'm giving it a shot.

Part of the reason I came up with this idea in the first place was because I made a conscious decision to wear these boots when I went to meet up with some friends from high school last night:



My Doc Martens.  Hehehe - I LOVE these boots.  I remember the day I bought these boots.  I remember who I was with and how much they cost (they were $80).  I could even drive you to the place where I bought them - but I can't remember the name of the place and I can't tell you if it still exists.  It may have gone the way of another well-known store I use to visit during trips to Oakland.  I really wanted to be cool enough to shop in that store - but the truth of the matter is that I was always there with someone else who was buying something...I usually bought a candle or a book or a sticker for my car, who I named Shirley.  

Anyway - back to my shoes.  These shoes are 15 years old.  Yes - I've had a pair of shoes for 15 years.  I use to wear them all the time when I was in college, but lately I've been going for more practical foot wear.  I will pull out my Docs when I am going to a concert or out with friends or just out with DH for the evening.  Those things happen pretty few and far between - so the poor things don't get a lot of use anymore.  I will NEVER get rid of them, though.  They remind me of where I came from and what made me who I am now. 


Believe it or not, I had a hard time fitting in with one group in high school.  I went to a really small Catholic high school and usually felt trapped between friends.  I didn't fit perfectly in to any one group that had formed ~ so my circle of friends looked a lot more like a Venn Diagram.  I enjoyed high school.  I wasn't miserable.  I was actually pretty happy.  I was going through what a lot of other girls that age go through - I was trying to find out who I was and realizing it isn't exactly who I want to be.  (I would post the picture of me in black and white stripped tights, too much eyeliner and fishnet stockings on my arms...but I am pretty sure it's buried in a box in my attic)  

I wanted to fit in with the kind of people I found interesting.  I wanted to be like them.  I wanted to be like my college roommate 2nd semester of my Freshman year - which is probably why I decided to move out of the room I'd shared with my best friend from high school (they are telling the truth when they say you shouldn't go to college and room with your best friend) and move in with her.  I wanted to be the kind of person who would be able to hang out with the people who made my favorite music -  The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, Ani DiFranco, The Smiths, Mazzy Star...

It became painfully obvious to me, after an angst-filled summer, that I wasn't like that.  I think I always knew it ~ but that's what college and high school are all about, right?  You find out where you really belong.  You find out who you really are and realize what you are really meant to be doing.  I was slightly disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to pull off being who I wanted to be - that there was such a huge difference between who I wanted to be and who I was.  However, when I finally did accept who I was . . . when I finally admitted to myself that fishnet stockings will only ever be part of a Halloween costume and I will never dye my hair black again . . . I was finally able to find my soul mate and feel what it really feels like to be loved for who I am.

I still listen a lot of the same music I listened to then but also listen to Dave Matthew, The Counting Crows, Michael Buble, Brad Paisley, Monster Ballads and The Wiggles.  I guess I'm still a lot like I was in high school - with a Venn Diagram of musical tastes and fur-lined Crocs to go with my Doc Martens.

While I was posting -

Danika finally caught a boy in her boy catcher trap.  
(She named it...not me)



Dean was happy as could be playing with his fire truck - which sings this song "Hurry Hurry to the Fire, I'm the Fire Truck" over and over


And I'm pretty sure David is hiding behind the fridge plotting how he is going to make all the binkies his once and for all!  I bet if I go back there and search I will find them buried like dog bones in a back yard.