Perfecting Imperfection

I work part-time out of the house.  I'm pretty sure that I have mentioned this before.  I'm a preschool teacher.  I teach 3 and 4 year-olds.  I love my job.  I love the women I work with.  I love the kids in my classes.  I love that it's only 2 days a week and I get to spend the rest of the week with my babies.

This week, however, it hasn't been like that.  I can't tell you how insane this week has been.  ER all day on Sunday...PCP visit with Danika Monday morning...Funeral home all day on Monday...Funeral on Tuesday...Work all day on Wednesday - even the evening for the Art Show.  So, of course, I had some pretty unhappy babies.  Guess what, though -  They aren't unhappy today.



Growing up I didn't miss a lot of school.  That isn't to say that I NEVER missed school - but I didn't stay home unless I was really sick.  The rule was - if you miss school then you aren't allowed to do anything in the evening.  If you missed on a Friday, you were stuck in the house for the entire weekend!  So, I tried not to miss much school.  I don't think there was ever a year when I had perfect attendance, but we were never going to get a phone call from a truancy officer.

I didn't realize it at the time (although I should have because my dad always said, "I have to go to work if I'm sick or not - you should go to school") but my parents were setting me up to have a good work ethic.  I very rarely take days off from work.  When I taught 5 days a week, I never used all my days.  Now that I teach only 2 days a week, I still have days left at the end of the year to use up!

Today, I used one of those days.  I swear that God was sending me multiple signs that I needed to take today off.

First, last week I happened to ask how many days I had left.  I had 2.  I scheduled a day off in May but decided that I would just lose the other day...I didn't have time to take another day off.

I already mentioned the crazy week that I have had so far.  I'm tired and really missing my babies.  I mentioned to my "boss" yesterday that I was missing them because I had been away from them so much and was already thinking about all the time I was going to spend away from them up until Sunday.

Then, my MIL (who watches my babies on Thurs.) had a filling fall out!  She is headed to the dentist today to get that fixed and the twins were going to stay with my FIL until she got back.  My FIL is totally capable to watching the boys for a short period of time - plus, my SIL was probably going to show up at some point, too.  They would have been fine...but, David had a fever last night and coughed a lot all night and had a fever this morning...so, I was a little nervous about leaving him with my FIL because I could see him screaming for 2 hours and my FIL not being able to calm him down and losing it.   Probably wouldn't have happened. . . but I would have worried about it the whole afternoon.

I mentioned this to my "boss" last night when I was leaving the Art Show and she said that it would be no big deal if I took today off and took care of my baby.  (Of course, she already knew I was missing them)  She assured me that they could handle things without me - which I never doubted but was happy to hear!

So, I took the day off.  I feel a little bit guilty - because that is how I was raised - but I look at my babies, happy even though they are coughing, and I know that I did the right thing.  They need this day this week.  I need this day this week. 

First of all, thank you all for your kind thoughts and words about the loss of Memaw K.  My husband and I both truly appreciate them.  Tomorrow we will go to the funeral home and the funeral will be on Tuesday morning.

I had planned on getting stuff done today because the weather was finally suppose to be nice and I figured that Jerry could take the "big kids" outside while I entertained the little guys with my dusting moves.  However, life had other plans for us - I'm learning quickly that it usually does.


On Saturday, my mom and dad took Nate, Danika and their cousin, Angelina, to the circus.  They had a blast.  They LOVED seeing all the animals and Spiderman was even there!  They even had a chance to ride a pony before they left.  They came home with toys, pictures and cotton candy!  Unfortunately, Danika also came home with a wheeze in her chest and an annoying cough.  She's had coughs like that before but this one seemed worse than all the others.  We watched her overnight and when she woke up with the wheeze still there, we called her PCP and she sent us down to Children's Hospital.

Dankia making faces at me in the waiting room at Children's

Smiling from the other side of the bubble wall

Every time that Jerry and I have gone to Children's (this was the 3rd time to the ER) we always feel like they are better as soon as we walk in the door.  I mean, this doesn't look like a child who is breathing funny, does it?  So we were worried we had made the trip for nothing but also kind of relieved that it may mean a short visit!  Wrong.

She didn't have a fever but her blood pressure wasn't all that great and when the doctor listened to her breathing she commented, "Yep, she has a wheeze.  Let's get her a breathing treatment.  It doesn't sound too bad so I think one treatment and you will be able to leave."  .

I'm pretty sure I'm going to ask all doctors from now on not to give me a time frame unless I specifically ask for one because 2 breathing treatments, 2 doses of steroids, 1 dose of zofran and quite a few little buckets dumped into the sink and we were still there.

How cute is this dinosaur mask?  She loved it the first time - not so much the second.

We ended up spending about 8 hours in the ER.  Danika and I spent 8 hours in the ER but Jerry came home to take care of the rest of the kiddos.  Luckily, a good friend of ours came down to pick him up.  Once the doctor started using the words "hour" and "then we will see", I told Jerry to try to find someone to come and pick him up.  I had a feeling we were in for a longer day than we expected.

To be honest with you, we would have been able to leave earlier but she kept getting sick and the doctor was afraid she would dehydrate and we would end up having to come back down.  The IV scared the crap out of me but she was a real trooper.

She was also a trooper when she puked in her little pink pan on the way home in the car and held the pan until I could take it and dump it.  Then she puked during our stop at the grocery store to get her some clear liquids and me a salad for dinner.  She hasn't puked since then, though (knock on wood).  They didn't give me an official diagnosis but they think it is asthma (which I know very little about)

Now I have to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow and wake her up every 4 hours for a dose of her medicine...sigh...it's going to be a long night and a longer week!  But I have to admit it was kind of nice spending time with my girl today...even if she wasn't feeling great.  :)

In a few short days (on the 11th) it will be 6 months since Memaw left us.   I remember waiting for the call that she had passed on and I remember the mixed emotions of relief and sadness that came with the call.

We sat waiting for a similar call last night and it came around 12:45 AM...Jerry's dad's mother who we also call Memaw, had passed away.  We knew that she wasn't doing well from a phone call we received in the early afternoon...so, we waited.  Every time the phone rang we jumped a little.  When the call finally came we felt that similar relief and sadness that we had 6 months ago.

I will be completely honest with you and say that I did not know Memaw K as well as I knew Memaw N.  I know that the first time I met Memaw K was at a family reunion.   I remember her telling me about a movie she watched when she was younger that she LOVED.  She told me that the main female character's name was Janene and that was why she would never forget my name.  She said that she actually stayed and watched the movie twice and her mother was so angry with her because she didn't know where she was all day.  She told me that same story several times in the 13 years I've been with Jerry and for the life of me I can't remember the name of the movie...

I also remember her telling me about going to Hawaii with her husband.  Jerry would cut the grass at her house and a few times I took the kids out there to see her.  She told me all about how wonderful Hawaii was and that Jerry and I should definitely make the time to go someday.

One of the funniest memories I have of Memaw is the second time I met her...she really didn't know who I was and I was talking to her daughter about the wedding.  Memaw asked, "When are you getting married, honey?"  I told her I was getting married in June and she replied with, "My grandson is getting married in June!"  I chuckled and told her, "I hope so because that's who I'm planning on marrying!"

We are preparing for a long, sad week.  I really hate this time in before the whole viewing and funeral.. When you are there, you know how to act but going on with life as usual while you are waiting for that time just seems wrong.  It seems like there should be something else to do or that you should be able to just stop everything from needing done.  I know that I'll be busy finding babysitters and picking out clothes and making sure we are where we need to be doing what we are suppose to be doing.  In the meantime, I'll be taking care of little ones that wouldn't be here if this woman hadn't lived the life that she lived.  I think that's probably a pretty good way to honor and remember her.




This is a pic of Danika with both Memaws - Memaw K on the left and Memaw N on the right.  I just LOVE this picture.

So, I wake up this morning and it's raining and that chill is back in the air.  It's not FREEZING and it's not SNOWING but it doesn't smell like Spring like it did yesterday.  Yesterday was beautiful.  Yesterday was wonderful.  Yesterday was AWESOME!  (A lot for today to compete with, huh?)

Here are some pictures of the kiddos enjoying yesterday:













You know the saying, "Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your children"? I think they are enjoying it! :)



It was a great day.

Today, however, it is really gray (or grey - which I never did figure out the difference) outside.  I know we won't be going out.  I also know that I have a TON of things to do inside and I should take advantage of it.  So . . . I'm banning myself from the internet today.  No, seriously...I'm putting the laptop away and I'm going to do stuff around the house and try to keep the kids happy.  It should be interesting to see how it goes.  Of course, I still have my BlackBerry.  I think that will make it a little easier...at least I won't have that feeling like I'm missing out.  My internet dependency (addiction) is a topic for a whole other post.  Right now, I'm signing off for the rest of the day!

Have a great Friday!