Perfecting Imperfection

In about an hour or so my friend is bringing her daughter over for a play date. We plan on ordering pizza and letting the kids play for a while. The big deal part is - I didn't clean my house!

One of the main reasons I never want anyone to come over to my house - one of the main reasons I feel like I have no friends - is that my house is in a constant state of chaos.  I think that I've finally come to accept the fact that my house is just not going to be neat and orderly.  Now - my house is NOT dirty.  I do wipe things down, run the sweeper, pick up dirty dishes and dirty clothes.  We take the garbage out and all of that jazz.  However, there are a TON of toys and just stuff that I never get around to putting away...and what's the point, really?  I put them away and they come right back out!  I need a routine - but I have 4 small children and a routine is often just an extra added stress for me...because, let's face it - I'm not really in control of what's going on 75% of the time (the other 25% of the time the twins are sleeping - I have a little more control when they aren't awake).  Then you run into the fact that when I do get time to myself I'm usually too exhausted to do anything productive. 

So - I decided when I woke up this morning that I was not going to stress about how my house looked before my friend came over.  I'm not even going to say anything about it (or I'm at least going to try not to - it's hard for me not to make excuses).  I really doubt she will think anything bad about me - in fact, I'm pretty sure she'll probably feel bad for me and want to do my laundry!  hehehe  Of course, I'll tell her no.  I couldn't let her go down to the basement!  Holy crap - wanna talk about a catch all for all the stuff we don't know what to do with!!!  Nate calls it "the toy store downstairs"...yep, that's pretty much what it looks like. 

So - wish me luck...I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh - and no Friday Follow for me this week...I have too much anxiety about getting to the blogs in my Google Reader as it is!  :)

This is my 100th post!  I’ve decided to post a list of 100 things that make me happy rather than 100 facts about me . . . well, in a way it’s 100 things about me, too.

1. My family – especially my children and my husband.

2. Books with happy endings

3. Cooking with Jerry

4. Romantic Comedies

5. Reading books to my children

6. Getting dressed up for a night out

7. Not having to get dressed up for work every day

8. Watching the Food Network

9. Board games

10. Chocolate

11. Coffee

12. Sleeping in

13. Long conversations

14. Reality TV (don’t judge me – I know it’s mindless and I NEED mindless every now and then)

15. Daydreaming

16. The Pittsburgh Steelers – but not Rothlisberger . . . what the heck is going on with him these days?

17. Orlando Bloom

18. Christmas Lights

19. Snow

20. Giving presents

21. Being pleasantly surprised

22. The smell of A&D ointment

23. Baking with my kids

24. Warm Chocolate Chip cookies

25. The idea of living a simpler life

26. Miracles

27. 20/20 vision (thanks to DH & Lasik Vision Institute)

28. Vampire Stories

29. Campfires

30. Toasting marshmallows

31. Clean/new notebooks

32. Old journals

33. Art Museums

34. Pumpkin patches

35. Love Poems

36. Scrapbooks

37. Sweatsuits

38. Getting the mail – my dad teases me about how happy this makes me every time I am at their house and the mail comes

39. Candlelight

40. Halloween

41. Lime Green

42. Fall

43. Jerry’s Chili

44. Long, Hot Bubble Baths

45. Brand new socks

46. Sleeping Babies

47. Rainy Days

48. Apple scented candles

49. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

50. Book stores

51. Fireplaces

52. Doughnuts (Chocolate cake with chocolate icing)

53. Blogging

54. Making things

55. Gnomes

56. Laughing babies

57. Taking pictures

58. Getting flowers

59. Michael Buble

60. Christmas

61. Long car trips – especially driving when the sun is rising

62. Eating outside

63. Cheeseburgers on the grill

64. Pictures of people kissing

65. Making pancakes

66. David Cook’s version of Always Be My Baby from American Idol

67. Swinging on the front porch

68. Amusement parks

69. 80’s music – especially Monster Ballads

70. White Zinfandel

71. Coloring

72. Daniel Craig

73. Not being able to fall asleep because I’m excited about something

74. Winnie-the-Pooh

75. Not smoking

76. Fairies

77. The Dave Matthews Band

78. Parents who tell me their children talk about me all the time at home

79. Teaching

80. Brownies

81. Disney World

82. Listening to my kids play together through the monitor

83. Flannel

84. People who do exactly what they tell you they are going to do

85. Steve Burns

86. Room Service

87. Genius on my iPod – I find so many songs that I forget I have thanks to that feature

88. Movies and Songs about November (Sweet November - movie /November Rain – song)

89. Sitting by large bodies of water

90. Cookbooks

91. Getting Flowers from Jerry

92. A clean house

93. Opening all the blinds and turning the lights off – letting the sun light the house

94. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very-Bad Day

95. Hearing Jerry read Green Eggs and Ham to the kids before bed

96. Solving problems

97. Standing up for myself – doesn’t happen often but I ALWAYS feel better after I do it.

98. Forest Green

99. Book Club and Mommy Group

100. Blog Comments!

I've actually received 2 blog awards from my fellow bloggers!

I'm honored - really! I think I put off posting about them because I wasn't sure who to send them to myself. I read a lot of blogs and I even comment on a lot of them...I just don't really "know" any of the bloggers very well.  I'm gonna give it a shot, though...

I received this award from B Sparkly


and this one from A New Mom



So - I'm picking only 3 bloggers I know for each award.

I'd like to pass the Lovely Blog Award to ~

Cop Mama

Party of Five

My Tales of Being an Ambitious Gurl

I'd like to pass along the Sunshine Award to ~

What Little Girls are Made Of


The Boob Nazi

Ma Vie Folle

My 100th post is next!  I actually made a list of 100 thinks that make me happy!  I'm probably going to post it right after this one!  :)

Have a great day!

This is my second week doing the QOTW over at Multiples and More and this one is an interesting one that I’ve actually come in contact with before.

Do you think parents of multiples are more likely to become divorced? Why or why not?

I’ve been married for a little under 6 years.  I have 4 children under the age of 5.  The youngest 2 are twin boys.  I can’t imagine doing this without my husband.

I bought this book:  Mothering Twins: From Hearing the News to Beyond the Terrible Twos and the topic of mothers and fathers of multiples being in the highest bracket for divorce was brought up.  I know it is stressful – but it is NOT the only (and probably not the main) cause of these families falling apart.

In my honest opinion I think that having multiples . . . No, I KNOW that having multiples causes a lot of stress on a marriage.  However, I think people who make bad decisions and get married for the wrong reasons to the wrong person are much more likely to get divorced than a loving, committed, happy couple who has more than one baby at a time. 

If you get divorced because you have multiples then there was probably something wrong with your marriage in the first place – or their would have been something wrong even without the multiple birth.  I know a lot of people who have not been able to make their first marriages work – none of them have multiples. 

Divorce happens too often in this country and hurts a lot of people when it does.  I make an extra effort to not judge people who are divorced because I don’t think that anyone can fully understand the very personal reasons that it happens.

As far as my relationship with Jerry goes, having multiples has changed it.  I really feel that it has (so far) made us a lot closer and more of a team…on good days.  The problem is that the work NEVER ends.  It is exhausting and I think there are often times when I feel like he isn’t doing enough – and times when he feels like I’m not doing enough. 

We both try very hard not to let those things cause problems between us – it doesn’t always work, but we try.  We have had to become much more verbal with each other in order to not get angry all the time – communication has become so much more important.  You learn fast that you can’t expect the other person to read your mind – there is just too much noise in the house for that to EVER happen.

On the other hand, knowing when to let things go because it isn’t worth getting into a fight about has become equally important.  It is also important to not jump to conclusions and take the time to talk things out or get all of the information.  Like when he taps me on the shoulder at 4 am and tells me it is my turn to go put the binkie back in Dean’s mouth so he will stop crying because he got out of bed and did it last time.  I feel like calling him a liar because I didn’t feel him get out of bed.  I didn’t even hear Dean cry!  I’m exhausted and in a deep deep sleep and he has to wake me up to go put a binkie in that I don’t want to try to find in the dark anymore than he does…Then I realize (when he tells me) that I didn’t hear Dean the two times before (at 1 am and 3 am) because he let me sleep through it!

I guess the one thing I would tell parents who just found out they are having multiples is that it is important to take care of each other, too.  Love your partner and make sure that they know you love them.  Be there for each other and really become a TEAM!  Jerry and I considered ourselves a team from the moment our first “singleton” came into this world.  We grew into a stronger team when our second “singleton” arrived.  We were a little (understatement of the year) nervous when our “multiples” were on their way – but now that they are here we are stronger than ever…not perfect, but still happy and in love with each other.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m headed upstairs to stick my freezing cold feet under the covers and find Jerry’s warm ones…I might even whisper to him how grateful I am to be on this journey with him by my side!