Sunday, September 11, 2011

So much has changed . . .

I have a blog post brewing about what I did today - 10 years after so many people's lives were changed forever - but it will have to wait for another day.  I am exhausted and can't wait to crawl into my bed and sleep until the alarm rings at 7 am so that I can get my kids up for school and ready for Miss Ginnis (Hey, that's what Danika calls her!) and the bus stop.

My kids.  10 years ago I didn't have any kids.  Now, I have 4.  10 years ago, I wasn't married but I was madly in love with my husband.  10 years ago, I was living with my parents...sleeping soundly in my bed after having my gallbladder taken out a few days earlier, when my mom came up to my attic room to wake me up and tell me that we were under attack.

Of course she didn't mean we as in specifically me, my father, mother and sister...she meant we as a nation.  Even though I do not personally know anyone who lost their life that day - or anyone who lost a loved one that day - I feel their loss when I remember what happened and I don't only remember on the anniversary every September.

I remember what others lost every day when I kiss my husband goodbye in the morning...I remember to tell him I love him because you never know.  I remember their loss every time I get off the phone with my parents . . . I remember to tell them I love them because you never know.  I remember their loss every time I start to lose my patience with one of my children . . . I remember to tell them I love them and kiss them instead of raise my voice at them because you never know.  I remember their loss every time I start to worry about things that aren't really important . . . I remember what I have and how amazing my life really is because you never know.

One of my friends posted this as her status on facebook today:   "Live & love like you did on 9/12/01 versus how you lived & loved on 9/10/01."

It made me think of how 9/11/01 really did change how I look at the people I love.

Then I think of the brief conversation I had with a friend's husband today - he commented something along the lines of it being a shame that it takes a horrific tragedy like 9/11 for people to appreciate what they have. We should appreciate what we have every day. . . because you never know.

I'm pretty sure I had decided that I didn't want any kids on 9/11/01.

There were a lot of reasons but mostly because I didn't want to bring them into a world like we had that day.  I didn't want them to be somewhere where they could be hurt like I had seen so many people hurting.

Of course, I do have children and am grateful for them everyday.  I love them so much - and hate to think about something bad happening to them. . . I'm sure a lot of the parents who lost their children on 9/11/01 felt the same way.  Having kids really is like having your heart walk around outside of your body.



God bless America and all of the men, women, children and volunteers who died or lost someone they loved  10 years ago today...I remember and will never forget.