I'm feeling a little down these days. I'm going to admit it . . . having 4 kids isn't easy. There. . . I said it. In fact, it's really freaking hard. I appreciate all of the comments from everyone who will say "But you do it so well." and "You are doing a wonderful job." The truth is . . . I am feeling kind of like I'm not doing so hot these days.
Someone is ALWAYS crying. Someone ALWAYS needs something. Someone is ALWAYS doing something that I've asked them not to or that they know they shouldn't be. Someone is ALWAYS making a mess that needs cleaned up.
I consider myself to be a pretty patient person. I know that I can put up with a lot but I'm having a tough time these days. I've had several moments where I've felt like I've reached my limit. I'm not really sure exactly how I didn't fall off the deep end - but I didn't. I dealt with it and could almost laugh about it later.
A big part of the problem is that the past few weeks have been full of trying to adapt to our changing schedule. The lazy days of summer are gone and this is the first year we actually have 2 kiddos in school every day. That means we have to get up and have breakfast early. We have to catch a bus and I have to be at a bus stop at drop off time. It's been a challenge to get everyone on the same page in the mornings and the living things in the house adjusting well is more important than worrying about all of the other things that need done. Things like the laundry that is piling up and the bathroom that needs scrubbed...not to mention the kitchen floor. I'm working on getting everyone together so that I can get myself together. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm frazzled and overwhelmed at least once a day...on good days.
It doesn't help that stupid people add stress to my life. . . by stupid people I'm talking about the moron who stole a lawnmower out of our yard while Jerry was cutting the grass. Yes . . . he left it in the yard so that he could run in and get the key to unlock the back gate and when he got back . . . no lawnmower. That person sucks.
Jerry would also tell you that I try to do too much. A lot of it is with hopes that it will simplify my life a little. Like cooking for a month . . . I can honestly say that that experience has made thing A LOT easier around here. Now, I can't even imagine what it would be like around here if I had to make dinner every night. It was a lot of work but it wasn't stressful. It took a lot of planning (that part of it was probably the most difficult for me . . . finding time to sit down with my 1/2 of the list and working out what I needed and making sure I had it all) and it took an entire day away from home but it was SO worth it!
I've also changed the way I'm couponing, again. I've switched back to The Grocery Game and to saving inserts instead of clipping coupons. I just don't have the time. I'm a little (okay, a lot) sad about it because I love my binder and having all my coupons organized and ready to just pull out when I need them but having coupons to clip on my To-Do list was adding a lot of stress to my life.
The thing is . . . even with all of this going on and all of the stress I've been feeling, I'm hopeful. I'm excited about moving soon. Of course, not anytime REAL soon because we haven't found the next owners of this house yet and we need to do that before we can jump into another mortgage but it will happen. I'm excited about the holidays coming. I'm excited about cooler weather and spending more time with my family. I'm excited about making more great memories because I know in years to come those are what I will remember vividly. I won't remember EXACTLY why I was stressed out (I'm sure I will remember that is wasn't easy) but I will remember the look on my kids faces when we wake up on Christmas mornings or how cute they will look in their Halloween costumes or how much fun they had doing this:
They are pretending to be race cars...they did this for about 25 minutes.
I'm kidding myself if I think I'm in control - I'm just along for the ride!
4 hours ago