Saturday, March 14, 2009

It's probably me . . .

Did you ever just have one of those weeks where you kind of just wish everyone else in the world would disappear and leave you alone? I'm having one of those weeks and I tell ya - everyone is still here and still annoying the crap out of me. I'm sure that part of it is pregnancy hormones. Heck, maybe all of it is pregnancy hormones. Who knows - but my poor DH is taking the worst of it and I don't even feel that bad...okay, I feel a little bit bad...but not a lot.

It seems like everything he does annoys me - when he's just sitting there doing nothing (like now) I feel like he's always doing nothing. When he's trying to help he inevitably messes something up or does something differently from how I would do it and I end up having to do it anyway. When he's with the kids I end up having to finish whatever he started or make good on his promises of snacks/drinks or whatever..."Mommy will go get it. Tell Mommy." (Don't get me wrong - I know I've probably done that to him enough - but I'm annoyed and it's on my list of reasons why.)

So, he asks me today what our problem is. We haven't been talking much, we haven't cuddled, we haven't laughed, we haven't had sex, we haven't been ourselves. I'd like to say it's been a few days, but it's been more like a little over a week. I don't have an answer, though. I know that it isn't as easy as saying you did this and I didn't like it. I also know that it isn't something that he is just going to be able to fix or that I am just going to be able to get over. Most of all, I know it's mostly due to this pregnancy - and my emotions being all out of whack. I'm tense - tired - stressed and feel spread a little thin these days.

I'm not overly concerned that we won't get through this - in fact, I'm not at all concerned that we won't get through this. I'm just hoping that the end is near because I really miss my husband and I don't like not being able to be in the same room as him without rolling my eyes and huffing a lot.