I woke up at 7:15 this morning with a blog post forming in my head.  I was going to tell you, in some witty way, about all the emotions that I experienced yesterday – it was a roller coaster kind of day.  Since it is now two hours later, dear internet, and you have sucked up my entire morning, I will have to just do the quick rendition of the whole thing.

I had a lump in my throat for about an hour and a half yesterday – I guess it wasn’t an hour and a half solid, but it was on and off for that long.  You see…yesterday was Nate’s last “regular” day of 3-year-old preschool.  This had me choked up for a few reasons…but it all comes back to the fact that my kids are getting bigger – they are growing up.  I was Nate’s teacher this year – although if you ask him he will probably name every other person who had anything to do with preschool this year…the wonderful women that are aids in the classroom (He LOVES his Mrs. Henry and Mrs. Schwartz!) or the subs that have been in the room at various times (He always talks about Mrs. Merrick and the things she would like when we see them – for example, when we were reading a book from the library the other day he said, “Mommy, I bet Mrs. Merrick would like to see this book.”)  But technically, I was Nate’s teacher this year and yesterday was the last day before our program/graduation next week. 

While we were practicing for the program yesterday, Nate caught my eye and I was his Mommy for a moment, not his teacher.  I sat watching my 4-year-old son sing his little heart out…it kind of sucked…I had to swallow pretty hard in order to not have to explain to 14 darling 3 and 4-year-olds why their teacher was crying.  I did it…but it happened 3 more times that day before we got home and the chaos that is my house prevented me from thinking about it again ~ until now.

Next year, Nate will be with his Mrs. Merrick in the 5-day class.  Danika will be in the other 3-year-old class ~ because I think she will do much better without me to cling to all the time.  Who knows what I’ll do with the twins when their time comes…but I know that this could very well be the only time I had one of my kiddos in my class.  It’s an interesting experience to see them in that setting.  I’m glad I had the chance to do it.  Next year, though, I get to go through the experience from the other side.  The expereince of “giving” my children to other people for a few hours a week…letting other people take care of them…letting other people be important parts of their lives. 

I get it now and I’m sure I’ll get it even more next year.  I get why the beginning of the year is so tough for parents…why they want to walk their kiddos in and peek at them through the windows.  Why they ask so many questions that border on personal but are really just questions that help them understand, know and trust the person who will be responsible for their baby for however long they are in our care.  I know the women who will be with my children (and they are all wonderful) and for most or part of the time my children are there I will be in the building – it still makes my chest a little tight and my throat close up…my eyes water because I won’t be right next to them if they need me.

Please, don’t think I’m not going to be able to handle this.  I’ll totally be fine.  In fact, once it starts I’ll probably enjoy a little bit of a routine and a little break from 4 kids every morning!  Plus, I’m not completely ruling out the possibility that PMS has something to do with this feeling right now.  It’s also probably in part due to the fact that I’ve been oddly aware of how wonderful my children are at the age they are right now.  My mother is good for the, “This is such a nice age” comment and I know what she means – although, I’m not looking forward to finding out about the no-so-nice ages that are in the future.

So ~ I have to just share some pictures with you and let you know about my wonderful friend, Erin!  Erin and I met through the book club I’m in that meets once a month.  We started talking through facebook and then started going to Mommy Group meetings together.  We are a lot alike – we both have quite a few kids and we are both super busy.  Erin LOVES to stamp – and she’s really really good at it, too!  I mentioned on her blog once that I liked the recipe boxes she had made.  So, she made me one for my birthday!  She gave it to me yesterday, so I just have to share some pictures!

Here’s a picture of the top of the box – she did a garden theme because she had read that Jerry and I like to garden!
 
This is the front of the box – isn’t it ADORABLE!?!
She made it big so that I could fit a full size sheet of paper in it!  Which is awesome because most of my recipes come from allrecipes.com or magazines!

Here’s the inside tabs –

And this is her “stamp” on the back!


Too cute, right?  I’m planning on filing and filling it up later today.  I’m so excited about it!  It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to find the perfect place to show it off in my kitchen!
Thanks again, Erin!

Let me start by saying the D-Listed Blog Party ROCKS!!!

I solemnly swear, with all my heart, that I will visit each blog that came and visited mine...eventually.  :)  All of you who commented that you don't know how I do it - eh, sometimes it takes me longer but I eventually get the job done!

I had a wonderful moment tonight.  A moment where I was able to just enjoy what I was doing - of course at first the 100 things I have to do (finish book club book, visit blogs, do dinner dishes, finish laundry, watch Glee, look at school stuff, fix my BlackBerry, etc.) were running through my head...then I started thinking about the 100 other things I wanted to do tomorrow (clean cobwebs out of corner of kitchen, write some emails, more laundry, finish bedrooms, wash sheets, what's for dinner?).   Then I just stopped.  I actually kinda, almost cried.  Finally, I closed my eyes and took it all in.

Here is my Baby Baby -


He is not a snuggler.  He is lovable and adorable but he just doesn't snuggle.  He's too busy to snuggle.  He's always on the move and when he's tired he just can't seem to get comfortable until you put him in his crib...except for tonight.  Tonight, he actually cried when I put him down!  So, I picked him back up and rocked him a little bit...and he snuggled with me.  My non-snuggler wanted to snuggle with me.  I had a hard time, at first, relaxing.  Then, I started thinking about how very soon he will be like this....


Too big to hold in my arms so easily...too big to rock to sleep.  My twins are the perfect size right now...they will be for a while.  I don't remember a whole lot about Nate and Danika at this age . . . I remember being tired.  I remember rushing it.  I remember thinking, "Oh, it will be so great when they can talk and tell me what they want or what is wrong."  I remember thinking, "Man, I can't wait until they can walk on their own and I don't have to carry them everywhere"  I remember thinking, "Gah!  I just wish they could play by themselves for an hour so I could get something done".

Not this time, though - this time around I'm trying to hold on to every last second I can...I'm trying to suck it in...I'm trying to make sure it's seared into my memory.  I don't want to forget what it's like to hold my baby close to me and snuggle him while he drifts off to sleep.  I want to remember what that feels like.

Which is why I took 30 full minutes out of my evening and did nothing but snuggle my non-snuggler.  I held him a little tighter than I usually would and willed myself to remember that exact feeling....that exact moment.

I'm going to really enjoy this summer.  This summer is the last summer I will have babies..,.next summer I will have toddlers...I plan on stopping and smelling a lot more "roses" than I have before - I don't want to miss a minute...it's already going too fast!

This morning I just feel like writing.  It's too bad that a complete thought doesn't stay in my head long enough for me to develop an idea about what to write a stellar blog post about - guess this morning you will just have to settle for some random stream of ... randomness?

Let's start with the haircut - and let me remind you I HATE pictures of me.  Here are 2 versions of my new haircut...a better picture of the straight version and the curly version (in which my husband informed me I look like I came straight out of the move The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler).

This is the straight version

This is the curly version

 I am happy to report that I was able to sort of, kind of, mostly recreate the straight look that my hairstylist did after I showered yesterday!  So, that's all I got on my haircut - probably the last time I'll mention it (until I get it cut again!)

Onward - watched Flash Forward last night and it made me nervous.  Next week is April 29th...well, not really but on the show it is and we will find out if everyones' Flash Forwards come true or if the universe is changed forever.  It's kind of a drama - in case you don't watch.

After watching Flash Forward I...well...it was 10 o'clock and I...WENT TO BED!  Never happens.  NEVER!  The thing is that Dean decided he wanted to wake up at 5:30 am Thursday morning.  I can't complain too much because he had been sleeping since 6:00 pm the night before.  The 5:30 am wake up call wasn't too bad...until about 7:00 pm last night.  I felt like I'd been hit in the head with a frying pan and just couldn't keep my eyes open.  I stayed awake for Flash Forward and then carried my tired butt to bed amidst protest from DH (not a lot - just a "You mean you aren't going to stay up with me to watch Down Periscope for the 25th time since we got married?").  He still needed a little extra time to wind down - he didn't get up at 5:30 am with Dean, though.


When I woke up this morning at 7:00 am, I felt like I slept in.  I felt like the kids let me sleep until at least 9:00 am and almost yelled to Jerry in the shower that he was late for work!  I couldn't believe how I felt!  I can't promise to try for a 10:00 pm bedtime every night - but I'm really going to give it a shot a few times a week.  I actually feel like cleaning today!  Don't really feel like making the grocery list, but it won't be too bad with the e-mealz menu...so I'll suck it up!  

Danika's Francie Pants came in yesterday ~ I think I may have been more excited than she was!  I won a Twitter party contest (the 5M4M UBP10 Twitter Party) and got a $40 gift card for Francie Pants!

I have one little girl, as you probably know if you are a regular blog reader, and I was so excited to be able to order something special for her.  We went to the website and picked out 2 pair.  The ones pictured below and some really cute pink leopard print ones.

Danika in her Francie Pants

I have to tell you, too, that I had AWESOME customer service, too.  Ciaran Blumefeld was the one who contacted me with all the info for the gift card and when I couldn't get it to work she was very patient and understanding and solved the problem for me!  I'll definitely be looking into getting Danika more Francie Pants and getting some for the other little girls in my life as gifts!

Finally - since I feel like being a blogger today, I'm going to join Friday Follow!  I haven't done this in a long time...but I feel like exploring the internet and checking out some new blogs!




Have a great weekend - the weather is suppose to be a little bit better here this weekend.  I can't wait to get outside again!

So ~ How was your Mother’s Day?  Let me show you what my loving hubby bought me for the special occasion…

Cute, right? There is one silhouette for each of my kiddos – with their birthday listed below.  At first, I thought it was a little bit too big because I’m not a big jewelry person.  But it grew on me and by the end of the day I was in love with it!  I’m already thinking about other charms I want to get to put on it…like a teaching one and maybe one for my anniversary!

All that being said – my Mother’s Day was kind of a rocky one emotionally.  I’m not sure exactly why, but I got myself into a bad place for about 45 minutes and had to force myself to snap out of it.  I’ve probably mentioned somewhere (but I’m too lazy to go find where) that I try very hard to be a positive person.  I try very hard not to complain too much about things.  I didn’t realize that trying that hard can sometimes catch up with you – but it did for me yesterday.  All the things I try not to worry about or complain about started to REALLY bother me.  They started to bother me so much I had to actually go up to my room and be alone for about 20 minutes so I could lose my composure and then regain it – something I just didn’t feel like doing in front of my kiddos.  I cried – not uncontrollably, but harder than I had in a while – and then I told myself that was it…it was time to go and enjoy my Mother’s Day. 

I have no real intention of getting into what I was upset about – except for one thing a little further down…but I do want to talk a little bit about my hubby’s reaction.  He didn’t know why I excused myself.  After all, I’m just getting over a stomach flu, so I’ve been running up the steps a lot lately!  We talked about it a little later, though, when we were riding home from my parents’ house.  I told him that I think trying to be so positive is starting to wear on me.  I told him about how I think that always trying to act like everything is okay is making me hold a lot more inside than I should be.  One of the problems, though, is that everything really is pretty much okay.  The things I would complain about aren’t really that big a deal when you look at other people’s problems.  However – they are my problems.  They are the things I have to deal with.  I mentioned that I maybe I should go find someone to talk to - you know, like a therapist, because I won't feel bad complaining to them because I'd be paying them to listen to me...all he said was, "Yeah - and they would probably say something back to you...cause I have no clue what to tell ya!"

Another issue with me complaining is that I really have a problem admitting that I have a problem.  I try very hard to do things on my own.  It comes from so many people telling me I’m going to need help – from so many people commenting on how full my hands must be – from so many people giving me a sympathetic look when they find out how many kids I have and how old they are – I want to prove them wrong for some reason.  I don’t like to admit that I don’t have it under control.  I don’t like to admit that I need help.  I don’t like to ask for help.  I desperately want to be able to go to the park with my four children all by myself…but it will never happen.  I know that I only have to ask and someone would be more than willing to go with me – so, yesterday, I decided I’m done feeling sorry for myself and going to quit being stubborn.  I’m going to *gulp* ask for help and ask other people into my life – realizing that they will see that I’m not perfect…but that’s okay, right?  I’m hoping that it will help me to feel less isolated – less like all I am is a mother.

Isn’t it funny that I would discover something like that on Mother’s Day – that I’m having an issue because I feel like I’m consumed with being a mother these days?  Of COURSE I’m consumed with it – I have 4 children who depend on me for pretty much every essential in life (although 2 out of 4 are potty trained – hang in there Christine!).  Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE being a mom…but for some reason I’m missing doing things for me.

So – I took a personal day from work yesterday.  Jerry is off and I’m going to get my haircut.  I think I want it to look something like this:

I know…it’s kind of a mom haircut!  However, I’ve been rocking the ponytail nonstop for about a month now…I need a change – and I’m hoping that this will force me to do my hair every day…and that will make me feel like getting out of the house, which will mean I will have to call someone to go with me!

Next, I’ve got to do something about my wardrobe.  If you pretty much wear XL clothes, where do you shop?  I’m planning on getting rid of a lot of my less comfortable clothes and getting myself some staples and starting my wardrobe over.  Let’s face it, pregnancy changes your body…unfortunately for me, mine isn’t bouncing back as quick from the twins as I would like.  I refuse to keep trying on the same clothes that make me look horrible hoping that they don’t look as bad today.  So – I need to make a list of essentials and sort of start over…ideas would be greatly appreciated because I hate to shop for clothes – fashion just really isn’t my thing.

I’m hoping that maybe next year I’ll be more together on Mother’s Day – I’m hoping that I might be able to look more like I want to look and feel more like I want to feel.  Yesterday was just a really off day for me.

In closing – do you have boys?  Do you have Geotrax?  We have a love/hate relationship with them around here.  They are fun and Nate and Danika will both play with them for hours…but they take up SO much space!  Exhibit A for Why We Need a Playroom!

 

I had every intention of writing a blog post yesterday.  I had every intention of cleaning up my house and taking my husband out for his birthday last night.  Instead, I spent the day doubled over in pain and praying that it would just go away.  I had the stomach flu like this about 2 years ago.  I had to call my mom to come and sit with the kids because I couldn’t take care of them…and that was just 2 at the time.  Yesterday, I kind of knew I was in pretty bad shape before Jerry left for work…but I was determined that I’d snap out of it.  I didn’t.  I had to call him around noon and beg him to come home and take care of the kids.  He did – he even brought me mint ginger ale and a flower.  :)

 

I hate being sick.  I know that no one really likes it, but I feel guilty on top of not feeling well.  I feel like I’m making other people do my “job” when I am sick.  I know how much I do – and I know it isn’t easy.  My parents took my “big” kids for the night (something they want to start doing every Friday – which ROCKS!) so we really just had the little ones to deal with and they were really good.  It all worked out and I’m feeling a little better today.

 

I missed the Teacher Appreciation Luncheon at school yesterday – which I was really bummed out about, but I did get my bag of goodies from the parents (one of my wonderful coworkers dropped it off).  I had fun digging through it.  It was an embroidered bag with a bunch of goodies in it – including a beach towel!  You know, you can NEVER have too many of those!  (especially when you have 4 kids!)

 

I also got a really cool box of samples in the mail the other day – it was a Sample Showcase from the post office and had a ton of neat things in it.  They sent it to my mother-in-law’s address with my name on it – so she saved it for me!  :)  There were dark chocolate peanut butter cups, Dove Chocolate, Aveeno cream, shampoo, conditioner and face lifting stuff, Splenda, Secret deodorant,  Shower to Shower samples, a Bengay heating pad (LOVE those!), Taster’s Choice packs and Montreal Steak Seasoning!  There were also quite a few coupons in the box.   I really did feel like I got a present in the mail!  Anyone else get one? 

 

So ~ I’m planning on finding the time somewhere to blog more.  I’m not sure where I’ll find it, but I miss blogging and I miss reading blogs.  I’m actually afraid to check my blog reader and see how much I’ve missed – I think it’s been almost 2 weeks since I really looked at it!  Hope there are still some readers out there and I hope you are all doing well…I’m off to check out what is new with all of you, next!

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies, aunts and grandmas! 

It’s nothing personal, but you probably won’t be seeing a lot of me this week.  I will miss you – I will try to check in…but I have a super busy week this week and it’s going to be hard enough for me to keep up with my kiddos and get everything done I need to get done, let alone trying to sneak a blog post in here or there.  :)  I should be able to check in once or twice…in fact, I actually wrote out a mini To-Do list for the week and I “penciled” blogging in again on Thursday…(but I’m not much of a schedule person – so we will see).

In the meantime – here’s what’s new:

The boys have graduated from eating in Bumbos to highchairs:

They are actually pretty happy about it, too!

 

I’ve been FLYing again – and my book Sink Reflections came from Paperback Swap today!

Finally ~ if you’ve been following me on Twitter you may have seen this…he IS sleeping.  I don’t know what it is about that bouncing thing, but they both fall soundly asleep in it at least once a day.

 

For some reason this morning I started thinking about how much of this my kids are going to remember.  I know that I will remember a lot of it – probably not all of it, which kind of makes me sad – but I know that I will remember a lot.  How much will they remember when they are my age?  When do kids really start remembering and making their memories?

Nate already remembers some things.  In fact, he remembers a lot more than I ever would have thought he would.  He remembers that we went swimming on our vacation – and he wants to go again.  He remembers that we met Nana and Pap Pap and Aunt Mare at the seats outside of Sonic and had lunch there when the weather was nice – now that the weather is nice again, he wants to do that again, too!  He remembers that Grandma Fran looks at the same moon we do every night and that Elena likes to play the Wii.  All things that I wouldn’t have bet on him remembering.

Danika – well, she comes up with the strangest things sometimes.  I still see her as younger than she really is, I think.  Her speech is something that I’m going to have to deal with sooner or later…probably sooner if I can.  Sometimes, though, she will bust out with something really clear and I can understand every word!  She loves Little Bear and this morning was reciting it word for word…which amazed me.

When I think back to my childhood, I remember bits and pieces.  I almost feel like I should write them down somewhere so that I won’t forget more than I already have!  I remember listening to The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack with my parents on Saturdays while eating breakfast.  I remember my dad playing the 1812th Overture to wake us up in the mornings during summer vacation.  I remember jumping on the bed, breaking it and blaming the whole thing on my sister – then, getting caught!  I remember vacations and weekend trips.  I remember picnics and Lemon Blend.  I remember walking to Dairy Queen and Rosa’s Pizza. 

I don’t remember the everyday stuff as much as I would like to.  I don’t remember things as clearly as I would like to.  I don’t know if anyone does…I wish I could.

Anyway – here are pictures of my kids this morning.  An ordinary morning where we aren’t doing anything special.  I just snapped them: 1, 2, 3, 4.

Here’s what you looked like on March 31, 2010 little ones…where all we did was play with some toys, eat grilled cheese for breakfast (because you wanted to) and laugh with each other:

About 5 months ago a group of women who all have one friend in common were brought together by that friend.  It was actually really a great idea for us all to get out and meet some other moms.  I've met some really nice women and generally have a great time when we meet.  It was kind of a ground rule that we would try not to get like most groups of women do - we were not going to judge each other...we were not going to try to one-up each other...we were just going to laugh and have a great time.  My favorite meeting to date was our Christmas one - we had a cookie exchange and I swear I laughed more than I had in a REALLY long time.  I was actually sad to leave!

Our group met last month, but for some reason I couldn't be there.  I missed them so much...which is funny because we only see each other once a month - it's funny how you can miss people you barely see to begin with and don't really know all that well. 

Anyway, we met last night and I almost didn't go.  I was tired.  I was frazzled.  I just wasn't myself.  I'm sure it showed, too.  Tired, paranoid me took over and, even though I did have a great time, I left without the "wow, that was great" feeling I usually have.  I actually felt out of place - I'm not sure why, but I'm betting it was because I probably wasn't fully present...I was too tired and frazzled.  Now, if you are part of the Mommy Group and reading this - I hope that you don't think I'm complaining about anything in particular...it was really more of a not being able to relax and sitting across the room from everyone so I was a little out of it.  I will say, though - the food was awesome as usual!
 
I just wasn't comfortable - I felt like I was in High School again...I loved High School, but I didn't really have a lot of really close female friends during my Junior and Senior year.  The problem with hanging out with a lot of guys when you are younger is that their wives (and the guy you end up marrying) aren't really appreciative of you continuing your friendship at the level it was before anyone got married.  I'm going to have to make sure my daughter understands this and makes an extra effort to have some girlfriends - then again, my closest girlfriends moved out of state...I still have a few who are close enough for us to get together now and then - but life usually gets in the way of that, too.

I know that this is me and not the mommies at Mommy Group because I've been feeling the same way at work, a little.  Just like I've been on the outside watching - like I'm not participating.  It's like I'm not in on some secret that everyone else knows - and it's something about me...is this a common side effect of lack of sleep?  I'm blaming it on no sleep either way!

I hope to catch up this weekend and maybe enjoy Book Club on Monday!  Of course, I haven't finished the book - but I'm not going to let myself loose any sleep over that! 

Oh, and I think I am going to do Friday Follow - if you are here from Friday Follow, leave me a comment and I will head on over to follow you back!  :)

I’m exhausted.  Actually, I’m beyond exhausted…what would that be?  Hmm..

Anyway – I’m sure you can tell by the title of this post that the babies haven’t been sleeping any better.  In fact, the culprit has a new name, “He-who-woke-EVERYONE-up-at-1:53am”.  Yep, it was him – again.

He woke this one up first:

Then together they woke these two:

The only reason I didn’t spend the entire day in a complete and total daze is because I fell asleep at 8:45 pm last night.  I was helping Danika fall asleep and ended up drifting off myself . . . and . . . well . . . just went to bed!  I don’t even feel the slightest bit guilty about it – I am kind of bummed that my DVR has shows on it that I want to watch, but they will be there Friday (which is the next time I’ll be able to watch TV – Go Pens!)

So, when the entire house was awake at 1:53 am I was a little bit more rested than I usually am at 1:53 am.  Still – I’m ready for bed.

My main reason for hopping on to do a post at all today was because the twins had their 6 month visit today.  Apparently, they are doing great.  They are both growing nicely…there is still a 4 lb. difference between the two – David is 16 lbs. 4 oz. and Dean is 19 lbs. 14 oz. – and there is a few inches in their height, too!  David is 27 1/4 inches and Dean is 29 1/4 inches.  According to the doctor, Dean is “off the charts” for his height.  I’m surprised he isn’t off the charts for weight – but maybe it’s just because he’s so tall that he looks so big. 

They got two shots today – and are now sleeping soundly…which I am headed up to do now – because I have a feeling they aren’t going to stay asleep all night.

You didn’t really think that I would be able to write weekend updates on Sunday nights, did you?  hehehe  I did – but yesterday it just didn’t happen.  Mainly, because we aren’t sleeping…again.  Here is the culprit:

For reasons unknown to me – he just doesn’t seem to be able to get comfortable.  I get him to sleep.  He wakes up 40 minutes later.  I get him back to sleep.  He wakes up 20 minutes later.  I get him to sleep.  He sleeps a whole 2 hours and gets up again.  It’s exhausting!  I’m thinking teeth – maybe.  Who knows?  One more baby that was born without an instruction manual…so all I can do is guess – and drink lots and lots of coffee the next morning.

As far as the weekend goes – pretty normal around here.  This is the biggest news:

Before Haircut -

After Haircut -

I gave him a buzz cut!  Of course, when I did it it was in the high 60s and now we’ve dropped down to the low 50s…but he needed it cut.  He’ll look normal again by Easter.

Other than the haircut, we didn’t do a whole lot.  We went to my parents for dinner and the kids got to run around in their back yard for a few hours.  We had some friends over with their kiddos on Friday and I may (or may not) have had a tiny bit too much wine – I really didn’t want to have to make room for it in my fridge.  :)  I took the paper snowflakes down in my living room.  I’m still working on laundry – it NEVER ends!

For some reason, Jerry and I have been watching those paranormal shows On-Demand.  You know, Paranormal State, Paranormal Cops and Ghost Hunters.  I’m not really sure why we are watching.  Funny thing is that it scares the heck out of Jerry – and mostly makes me laugh.  It just kills me that they always try to make something out of nothing.  I’m not saying that there isn’t paranormal things that happen – maybe some of the stuff they have happen really is real…but it’s TV for goodness sake.  All that being said – I kept seeing things last night.  I would hear Dean moving around and open my eyes because I knew it was my turn to go get his binkie.  I’d see something standing next to the bed or in the hall or the one time I actually thought Jerry was sitting up next to me in bed when he was sleeping.  I chalk it up to an overactive imagination – which is EXACTLY what I think those shows do and why people watch them . . . they give us those little bursts of adrenaline. 

Before we started watching those shows, we watched the first hour of Life on Discovery.  Jerry set the DVR to record it – I’m usually not one for nature shows…but it was pretty cool.  We’ll definitely be watching the rest of them this week!

I guess that’s about it – I’ve got stuff to do today…which means it will either be a great day and go really fast or I’ll be extremely frustrated because my babies need me and I can’t get anything done.  I’m hoping for option 1 – but I’m gonna try to be patient and enjoy my babies if it’s option 2.

Here’s to a great week!  *chugging coffee on my way to make 2 bottles and grab 2 diapers*

 

I love Peter Krause.  I loved him when he played Nate Fisher in Six Feet Under.  I loved him in The Lost Room ~ which my dad actually had me start watching.  He was good in Dirty Sexy Money, but I wasn’t a fan of the show otherwise.  He’s the reason I started watching Parenthood – and I’m really loving his role in it and the show in general. 

I was a little worried that I wasn’t going to like the show after the pilot.  There was too much drama and not enough comedy.  I was hoping it would have a nice balance – but all the things that started going downhill at first made me nervous that this show was just going to be one more thing that reminds me that life doesn’t always work out the way you plan.  I don’t need a TV show to tell me that things go wrong, the unexpected happens and people with the best of intentions aren’t always able to hold true to their promises.  Life isn’t easy – but I didn’t want a TV show to remind me of that and shove it down my throat.  I’ve warmed up to the show, though. 

There is still more drama than comedy.  There are still a lot of reminders of how life doesn’t always turn out the way we want or the way we planned.  However, there are also more of those, “THIS is what it’s all about” moments.    Like one of the last scene’s last night – the whole family (differences aside) was together supporting Peter’s character and his family as they waited for a really important call about his son being admitted to a special school – he was recently diagnosed with Aspergers.  When the call came – they celebrated together!  It was one of those moments when everyone is happy…those are the kind of moments I want in my TV shows.

Without getting too personal – my extended family isn’t the way I imaged it was going to be when I was growing up.  My sister has been dealt a really bad deal health wise – she and her husband – and it’s made a lot of things out of the question.  For example, I can’t just meet my sister at the mall to let the kids play in the playground for a little bit.  My sister has MS and she is in a wheelchair.  She doesn’t drive.  She walks short distances with a walker.  It’s hard on everyone – especially her.  She has a beautiful 3 year old daughter who loves to play with my kids. (and fight with them…because isn’t that what cousins do?)  That’s just my sister – we won’t even get into what’s going on with other members of both mine and Jerry’s family.

It seems, as of late, that my family just doesn’t have a lot of those, “THIS is what it is about” moments. It’s almost like all of our happy moments are somehow shadowed by the stuff that didn’t work out the way it was suppose to – sorry if that doesn’t make sense, but I’m not going to elaborate because it would take too long and be too upsetting.  It makes me sad.    When that happens, I really have to “force” myself to look at what I have – because I am blessed.  My children are healthy.  My children are amazing. 

Last night I had an “Ah Ha!” moment.  I realized that it’s not about me – as much – anymore.  It’s more about them.  I seriously looked at Jerry and said, “We may not be able to have that – but THEY can!” I feel a little more hopeful.  I feel like I have a new understanding of my purpose.  I will tell you that I kind of scared about it – having any kind of expectations is dangerous business…but I’m excited now, too. 

I started thinking about 4 kids…in 4 years!  4 kids…so close together. . . then I realized maybe God does know what he’s doing.  4 kids that close together just might mean they will be best friends.  They will help each other through things.  They will lean on each other.  They will be there for each other.  They will have lives full of those, “THIS is what it is about” moments together.  They may drive me crazy now – but maybe the fact that they are so close together will really be a tremendous blessing in the future. 

Okay – I’m done rambling.  Head on over to Oh, Sweetlee Me…I actually won this contest!  It came in the mail yesterday!  :)  It’s really pretty!

Oh – and guess what…I’m spending some time with my favorite Canadian TONIGHT!!!

Sooo excited!

PS ~ here he is singing my wedding dance song!  :)

 

 

I thought that I would use my Sunday post to kind of catch you up on things that happened over the weekend.  Not that anything too exciting happened…but it will also help me to remember later on. 

I find that I use my blog as a way to look back on the things that have happened – because I’m not remembering the little things on my own.  I have my excuses…yes, I’m still exhausted.  But it’s fun now to look back on posts like this one – where I thought I might be pregnant with my 3rd baby…or this one – where I found out I was in fact pregnant with my 3rd AND 4th babies…or even this one – where I can remember taking the kids to the museum for the first (and only) time.  (BTW – I was pregnant with the twins when I climbed through that McDonald’s playground thing…)

So – Friday’s play date was WONDERFUL!  My niece, Angelina, came over, too and it couldn’t have worked out better.  Nate and Elena played together so nice – and then Angelina and Danika were able to play together.  I don’t even think anyone had to sit on the “naughty step” all day!

Saturday, I took Danika to get her first haircut.  Here are the before and after pics :

It really isn’t that big a difference, but it is much easier to brush now…the ends were getting really tangled and knotted all the time.

We also got an email from the farm we are doing our CSA with on Saturday.  I’m really excited because it will put a lot less pressure on my husband to do a big garden this year.  He loves to garden – and will probably still plant some stuff, but he won’t need to plant as much…so maybe it will be easier for him to take care of this year.  He always ends up feeling guilty that he can’t give his garden enough attention – we have so many living things to divide our attention among already!

Saturday night, Jerry and I actually got to go out for a few hours.  It was nice – just enough time away to feel like we got a little break.  We were home and I was in bed by 12:00 am.  Yes, that’s late for me…especially considering that we had to turn the clocks ahead last night!  Ugh…

Today, Jerry went to the grocery store for me…with a pretty big order.  I’m amazed that no matter how detailed a list I write, he still ends up buy the wrong things.  I would complain more if I didn’t HATE going grocery shopping.  I’m grateful that he does it and can usually make his mistakes work.  :)

Then we went up to my parents house for a really yummy dinner and for the kids to get to see them a little bit.  Oh – and for Jerry and my dad to get to watch the hockey game together.  (Go Pens!)

All in all – it was a calm weekend but a fun one.  I’m exhausted and need to go up to bed NOW!  I have been missing my computer time, though – pathetic, I know…I may have to go see how some of my fellow bloggers spent their weekend before closing my laptop.  Eh – maybe not.  They’ll be in my Google Reader tomorrow, too!