I had big plans today.
Okay, not really big plans but I had a lot of things I wanted to do. I was off to a pretty decent start, too. I had all the blogs read in my Google Reader (which I'm still just not happy with how cluttered it became), I had a load of laundry folded, one in the dryer and one in the washer. I had all children fed, dressed and pretty happy. Then...it happened.
It started with a phone call from DH around 11:00. Something like this:
Him: "Did you know that deposit check we gave to Comcast cleared?"
Me: "No. Maybe that means they will be here sometime this week then?"
Him: "Maybe I will try to find their number and give them a call later today."
Me: "Okay, if you can't find it call me and I'll look it up online. Gotta go...baby's crying"
Him: "I'll call you later, love you."
Me: "Love you, too"
I then went about the rest of my morning - still in my pajamas (which I rarely change out of on a MONDAY).
About 40 minutes later...
Him: "I called Comcast."
Me: "Cool, what did they say?"
Him: "Well, after I got through all the press '1' for this and '2' for that stuff I got an estimated date and time."
Me: "Okay, when?"
Him: "Any time between 12 and 4."
Me: "Today?"
Him: "Today."
Me: "Shit."
Now - I only say that because I was (like I said) still in my pajamas. There were toys EVERYWHERE. The kitchen was a mess and I didn't dust the TV stand. Plus, it was 11:45ish...so, I had no time to waste.
Luckily, my amazing MIL came over and took my 2 "big kids" with her to deliver leftovers from the GIGANTIC, 23 lb turkey she made for dinner last night to Memaw (her mother) and Aunt Mare. So, I had them out of my hair.
About 10 after 12, the cable guy called and said he'd be here soon. Of course, right before he got there both babies woke up and needed changed and fed. Whew...at least he was a pretty nice guy. He wasn't willing to do too much set up - not that I blame him for not wanting to fool around with my husband's stereo or our wireless router (which had been giving us problems with Verizon). He was here for about an hour or so and it seems (knock on wood) that everything is working just like it is suppose to be. Fingers crossed it stays that way!
After he left it took me another 40-45 minutes to get my laptop up and running connected to Comcast - and I even downloaded their FREE Norton! Yay for free virus protection.
So...now it's off to figure out what the heck I had DH buy chicken thighs for the other day when I sent him to the grocery store. I'm sure it was some recipe I was looking at...I just can't seem to find it.
Okay, not really big plans but I had a lot of things I wanted to do. I was off to a pretty decent start, too. I had all the blogs read in my Google Reader (which I'm still just not happy with how cluttered it became), I had a load of laundry folded, one in the dryer and one in the washer. I had all children fed, dressed and pretty happy. Then...it happened.
It started with a phone call from DH around 11:00. Something like this:
Him: "Did you know that deposit check we gave to Comcast cleared?"
Me: "No. Maybe that means they will be here sometime this week then?"
Him: "Maybe I will try to find their number and give them a call later today."
Me: "Okay, if you can't find it call me and I'll look it up online. Gotta go...baby's crying"
Him: "I'll call you later, love you."
Me: "Love you, too"
I then went about the rest of my morning - still in my pajamas (which I rarely change out of on a MONDAY).
About 40 minutes later...
Him: "I called Comcast."
Me: "Cool, what did they say?"
Him: "Well, after I got through all the press '1' for this and '2' for that stuff I got an estimated date and time."
Me: "Okay, when?"
Him: "Any time between 12 and 4."
Me: "Today?"
Him: "Today."
Me: "Shit."
Now - I only say that because I was (like I said) still in my pajamas. There were toys EVERYWHERE. The kitchen was a mess and I didn't dust the TV stand. Plus, it was 11:45ish...so, I had no time to waste.
Luckily, my amazing MIL came over and took my 2 "big kids" with her to deliver leftovers from the GIGANTIC, 23 lb turkey she made for dinner last night to Memaw (her mother) and Aunt Mare. So, I had them out of my hair.
About 10 after 12, the cable guy called and said he'd be here soon. Of course, right before he got there both babies woke up and needed changed and fed. Whew...at least he was a pretty nice guy. He wasn't willing to do too much set up - not that I blame him for not wanting to fool around with my husband's stereo or our wireless router (which had been giving us problems with Verizon). He was here for about an hour or so and it seems (knock on wood) that everything is working just like it is suppose to be. Fingers crossed it stays that way!
After he left it took me another 40-45 minutes to get my laptop up and running connected to Comcast - and I even downloaded their FREE Norton! Yay for free virus protection.
So...now it's off to figure out what the heck I had DH buy chicken thighs for the other day when I sent him to the grocery store. I'm sure it was some recipe I was looking at...I just can't seem to find it.
It was just one of those weekends...everyone was sick and we had a lot of stuff to take care of this weekend. Not a lot of places to go...but a lot of stuff to do. One of the big things that needed done was digging out Jerry's car. We dug the van out the day we got the big snow. We didn't dig out Jerry's car. I figured I wasn't going anywhere anyway...so, he could just take the van and I'd hang out at home with the kiddos. I do have to go to work tomorrow, though. So, we need both vehicles dug out. Jerry dug it out yesterday....took him a little under an hour. When he came in he looked at me and said, "I wonder how many pounds of snow I've shoveled?" Without skipping a beat I responded, "I wonder how many gallons of snot I've sucked out of noses?" That about sums up the last few days. :)
It was a good weekend, though.
We are continuing to have great Potty Success (if you haven't seen this video of Danika yet...it's hysterical!). The only accident was one when she fell asleep on the couch - can't blame her there. She even kept her Pull-Up dry at Nana and Pap Pap's house yesterday!
Speaking of yesterday...I actually put real clothes on (make-up and everything) and went out with Jerry. We went to the mall for a little bit and ate at Chili's. I had their Quesadilla Explosion Salad and it was awesome. I also had a few adult beverages - and they were yummy, too. Which is probably part of the reason we headed to Best Buy next and made a few bigger purchases. The one I'm really excited about is this:
I've been complaining about not being able to print from my laptop for probably 6 months. Our desktop (which finally bit the dust) took forever to load any program and even longer to turn on. One night I ended up not going grocery shopping until 9:00 pm because I couldn't get my grocery list to print. No more, though! I also got a new coat (80% off!!!), a new purse and a new pair of sunglasses. All in all it was a great trip.
I just have to add these pics on to the end of the post - I think Matchbox cars lined up in a row by little hands are just adorable...Cars Matchbox cars are even cuter.
It was a good weekend, though.
We are continuing to have great Potty Success (if you haven't seen this video of Danika yet...it's hysterical!). The only accident was one when she fell asleep on the couch - can't blame her there. She even kept her Pull-Up dry at Nana and Pap Pap's house yesterday!
Speaking of yesterday...I actually put real clothes on (make-up and everything) and went out with Jerry. We went to the mall for a little bit and ate at Chili's. I had their Quesadilla Explosion Salad and it was awesome. I also had a few adult beverages - and they were yummy, too. Which is probably part of the reason we headed to Best Buy next and made a few bigger purchases. The one I'm really excited about is this:
I just have to add these pics on to the end of the post - I think Matchbox cars lined up in a row by little hands are just adorable...Cars Matchbox cars are even cuter.
Never let it be said that my husband can't take a hint. In this post I talk about how he isn't very romantic. Then this morning this shows up:
With 2 dozen roses and a box of chocolates inside.
And a note that simply says, "I love you!! Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart. - Jerry"
Yep. I'm smiling.
On a side note - you may have noticed that my blog is going through an identity crisis. I think I kind of was, too...as a blogger that is. No worries, though. I'm back to normal and I think I've found a blog template that I like and will stick to for a while. You know, green IS my favorite color.
So Valentine's Day is right around the corner. We aren't really big Valentine's Day celebrators in our house. In fact, with the kids coughing and hacking and the snow holding us prisoner this week I haven't had a chance to get out and do any shopping...not that I get a chance when we aren't sick and snowed in. I thought about making something (you know like an old fashioned valentine complete with doily and pink and red hearts) or baking/cooking something special (which would require a trip to the grocery store) but I haven't made any definite decision, yet. If I figure it out I will let you know...in the mean time, I stumbled upon Five Question Friday and thought I'd give it a shot. Maybe it'll be something I'll do frequently, but either way I figured it would give me a good chance to brag about DH a little.
1. What is the one thing your love does for you that you can't live without?
The dishes. Seriously. I love to cook. I love to experiment with new recipes and try new things. I HATE cleaning up after myself in the kitchen. For some reason, unknown to me, Jerry almost ALWAYS does the clean up after dinner. I'm so grateful for it. It could be because his alternative is getting the kids bathed and ready for bed...but that's fine with me. I'd rather do that than clean up the kitchen any day.
On a more romantic note, I love when he holds my hand. Simple, I know...but there is something very loving in it. It's a sign that we are in this together...that he is with me...that he still loves me.
Would it be a cop out to say I don't know? We were friends long before we started dating. We kind of fell into dating and then I just couldn't imagine things being any different. I guess when we were still together after he came home from college I knew we were eventually going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.
One thing I love about Jerry is that he is a guy's guy - you know, the kind that likes to hunt, fish and watch sports. But I'm most attracted to him when he is being more sensitive. Like when he is comforting our children or expressing concern for someone he loves. He can be a tough guy and I love that - but I also love that he is a big softy, too.
Physically - it's his eyes. I'm so happy we have 2 sons with the same bright, brilliant blue eyes he has.
1. What is the one thing your love does for you that you can't live without?
The dishes. Seriously. I love to cook. I love to experiment with new recipes and try new things. I HATE cleaning up after myself in the kitchen. For some reason, unknown to me, Jerry almost ALWAYS does the clean up after dinner. I'm so grateful for it. It could be because his alternative is getting the kids bathed and ready for bed...but that's fine with me. I'd rather do that than clean up the kitchen any day.
On a more romantic note, I love when he holds my hand. Simple, I know...but there is something very loving in it. It's a sign that we are in this together...that he is with me...that he still loves me.
2. When did you know your love was "the one"?
Would it be a cop out to say I don't know? We were friends long before we started dating. We kind of fell into dating and then I just couldn't imagine things being any different. I guess when we were still together after he came home from college I knew we were eventually going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.
3. Does your love have a special ringtone on your cell?
No - he use to before I changed phones...it was No One by Alicia Keys.
No - he use to before I changed phones...it was No One by Alicia Keys.
4. What are you attracted to most in your special someone?
One thing I love about Jerry is that he is a guy's guy - you know, the kind that likes to hunt, fish and watch sports. But I'm most attracted to him when he is being more sensitive. Like when he is comforting our children or expressing concern for someone he loves. He can be a tough guy and I love that - but I also love that he is a big softy, too.
Physically - it's his eyes. I'm so happy we have 2 sons with the same bright, brilliant blue eyes he has.
5. Did you know when/where he/she was going to pop the big question?
I had my suspicions for a few reasons. First, he had told me that we were going out and then called to tell me he was able to get off of work early and wanted to leave earlier. He was too excited and couldn't wait - so I knew there was something going on other than dinner. Plus, I had seen him talking to my dad earlier that week. Not that he never talked to my dad, but he rarely talked to him alone. Then, when I got home from work that day the house was spotless and my parents were out. My mom later confessed that it was because she knew what was coming and was afraid she'd blow the secret.
One of the coolest things was that my family and Jerry's family were all at my parents' house when we got back to celebrate with us. I didn't know they were going to be there and Jerry didn't tell me. I didn't even see their Jeeps (because they all had Jeeps back then) in front of my parents' house when we pulled up. I had just planned on showing my parents and I was able to show everyone my new ring!
I had my suspicions for a few reasons. First, he had told me that we were going out and then called to tell me he was able to get off of work early and wanted to leave earlier. He was too excited and couldn't wait - so I knew there was something going on other than dinner. Plus, I had seen him talking to my dad earlier that week. Not that he never talked to my dad, but he rarely talked to him alone. Then, when I got home from work that day the house was spotless and my parents were out. My mom later confessed that it was because she knew what was coming and was afraid she'd blow the secret.
One of the coolest things was that my family and Jerry's family were all at my parents' house when we got back to celebrate with us. I didn't know they were going to be there and Jerry didn't tell me. I didn't even see their Jeeps (because they all had Jeeps back then) in front of my parents' house when we pulled up. I had just planned on showing my parents and I was able to show everyone my new ring!
The snow is a pain in the butt...I won't lie. But being stuck inside isn't really anything new to me. I haven't really been able to just pick up and go anywhere for . . . probably close to 7 months. The last 2 months of my pregnancy, I couldn't take Nate and Danika out anywhere because they aren't the best listeners and I wasn't the fastest pregnant lady on two feet. It just made me too nervous. Since the twins were born I haven't been out much, either. Other than going to work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I only really have 2 other times each month that I get out of the house - Book Club at Borders and the Mommy Group I started hanging out with. I thoroughly enjoy both evenings, but other than that I'm usually home unless I'm at my parents' or Jerry's parents' or sister's house. I don't even get to do the grocery shopping. Jerry does that on his way home after I make the list for him...but I'm not a big fan of grocery shopping anyway, so I don't really mind that one.
I guess my point is that everyone is talking about being stir crazy and having cabin fever - I'm fine on that end of it. I'm actually enjoying it because I'm not stuck at home alone (Jerry didn't go to work on Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday or Wednesday!). It would be nice for him to be off of work and be able to go somewhere - but it's nice to have him home all the same.
It makes me wonder, though. When will I have the confidence to take all 4 of my children out somewhere? How old will they have to be for me to be comfortable doing that - will I ever be comfortable doing that? If I do have somewhere to go, I usually find a way to split my kids up. I'll take one, leave one with my mom and 2 with Jerry or my MIL. Will I ever head out of the house with all 4 kids alone and not be headed to my parents' house or Jerry's parents' house? I guess only time will tell - but I have a sneaking suspicion that the answer is, "Not in the next 3 or 4 years, at least."
Two and a half weeks ago I got up early in the morning and headed down to Forbes Regional Hospital to have a scheduled c-section and meet my twin boys. Everything went as planned and Dean Arthur and David Jerome were born 1 minute apart at 10:30 and 10:31 am. Dean was the first one out and weighed a whooping 8lbs even. David was the second one (which makes him my baby baby) and weighed only 5lbs 15oz. We knew there was going to be a size difference all along - we also knew there was nothing to really be worried about with it.
After getting all "cleaned-up" in the OR, we headed down to the room. I don't remember a lot about the time immediately after they were born. I know my parents and Jerry's mom were all there and found their way down to the room shortly after we got there. I wasn't feeling all that great the first night. Jerry stayed with me, but I had to stay in bed the whole time. I was sore and couldn't feel a whole lot below my waist for a while. The next few days would be much better.
I really really enjoyed my hospital stay. I enjoyed having someone else feed me. I enjoyed having someone else watch the boys while I slept for a few hours. Most of all, though, I enjoyed getting to know my two new sons without anyone else around. I enjoyed being with them and bonding with them while my other children were having the time of their lives with their grandparents. :)
Since coming home things have gotten interesting. My hormones are all out of whack...although they seem to be getting better. My c-section incision isn't healing as fast/easily as I would like it to. I don't sleep much and I am constantly telling my 3 and 2 year-old to stay away from their brothers. Now that Jerry has gone back to work, I'm on my own during the days...and it's a little scary sometimes.
I have to hand it to my husband, though. He really really stepped up when he was off and has continued to do an awesome job helping out with the kids - especially with Nate and Danika at bedtime. I'm soo proud of him and have no doubts that we are going to be just fine.
It's funny but I already have that feeling like I don't remember what life was like before the twins got here. I already feel like they have always been part of our family. I know that it's because they are both such a perfect fit and I am so madly in love with both of them. They really have stolen my heart.
These babies will be my last babies - yes, we are sure and it is final and permanent. I won't be having any more children. It makes me kind of sad - but it also helps me to appreciate this time with my newborns even more. I don't mind the 1 am feedings as much...I don't mind changing 20 diapers a day...I don't mind the little things because once they stop it's over. When I give my 0-3 month clothes away this time I won't be needing them back...I'm okay with it. I'm ready to move on to the next stage of my life...but I'm still kind of sad that I won't be making anymore new life. My job now is to make the lives I've already created happy and full of love.
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So, we tried to fly kites on Sunday. It was chilly and the sun kept peeking in and out from behind the clouds. It was an okay day to be outside with a jacket on. We thought for sure that it would be a good day to fly a kite - but alas, we had no wind! Much to the dismay of my 3 year-old son, we couldn't get the kites up in the air.
Yesterday was the exact opposite. It was sunny and warm. Almost short weather - DH did have shorts on, but the rest of us stuck to long pants and short sleeves. The kite flew, though...and my son was thrilled. :)
Here are some pics - which will be the last ones I ever take with my Samsung camera because as I was putting the kids in the car yesterday I sat on the camera (which, yes, I had in my back pocket because the maternity pants I have don't have front pockets) and cracked the screen. I cried and DH went and bought me a new camera and then told me I was spoiled. Which is true. My new camera came from Radio Shack...it doesn't have the bells and whistles that my Samsung did - but I found that I didn't really use those bells and whistles anyway. :)
Okay...gotta get to work. :( I really want to sleep...maybe a nap this afternoon!
Is that a cool kite or what!?
Nate and Daddy flying kite.
Nate finally doing it himself!
So, we tried to fly kites on Sunday. It was chilly and the sun kept peeking in and out from behind the clouds. It was an okay day to be outside with a jacket on. We thought for sure that it would be a good day to fly a kite - but alas, we had no wind! Much to the dismay of my 3 year-old son, we couldn't get the kites up in the air.
Yesterday was the exact opposite. It was sunny and warm. Almost short weather - DH did have shorts on, but the rest of us stuck to long pants and short sleeves. The kite flew, though...and my son was thrilled. :)
Here are some pics - which will be the last ones I ever take with my Samsung camera because as I was putting the kids in the car yesterday I sat on the camera (which, yes, I had in my back pocket because the maternity pants I have don't have front pockets) and cracked the screen. I cried and DH went and bought me a new camera and then told me I was spoiled. Which is true. My new camera came from Radio Shack...it doesn't have the bells and whistles that my Samsung did - but I found that I didn't really use those bells and whistles anyway. :)
Okay...gotta get to work. :( I really want to sleep...maybe a nap this afternoon!
Is that a cool kite or what!?
Nate and Daddy flying kite.
Nate finally doing it himself!
Did you ever just have one of those weeks where you kind of just wish everyone else in the world would disappear and leave you alone? I'm having one of those weeks and I tell ya - everyone is still here and still annoying the crap out of me. I'm sure that part of it is pregnancy hormones. Heck, maybe all of it is pregnancy hormones. Who knows - but my poor DH is taking the worst of it and I don't even feel that bad...okay, I feel a little bit bad...but not a lot.
It seems like everything he does annoys me - when he's just sitting there doing nothing (like now) I feel like he's always doing nothing. When he's trying to help he inevitably messes something up or does something differently from how I would do it and I end up having to do it anyway. When he's with the kids I end up having to finish whatever he started or make good on his promises of snacks/drinks or whatever..."Mommy will go get it. Tell Mommy." (Don't get me wrong - I know I've probably done that to him enough - but I'm annoyed and it's on my list of reasons why.)
So, he asks me today what our problem is. We haven't been talking much, we haven't cuddled, we haven't laughed, we haven't had sex, we haven't been ourselves. I'd like to say it's been a few days, but it's been more like a little over a week. I don't have an answer, though. I know that it isn't as easy as saying you did this and I didn't like it. I also know that it isn't something that he is just going to be able to fix or that I am just going to be able to get over. Most of all, I know it's mostly due to this pregnancy - and my emotions being all out of whack. I'm tense - tired - stressed and feel spread a little thin these days.
I'm not overly concerned that we won't get through this - in fact, I'm not at all concerned that we won't get through this. I'm just hoping that the end is near because I really miss my husband and I don't like not being able to be in the same room as him without rolling my eyes and huffing a lot.
It seems like everything he does annoys me - when he's just sitting there doing nothing (like now) I feel like he's always doing nothing. When he's trying to help he inevitably messes something up or does something differently from how I would do it and I end up having to do it anyway. When he's with the kids I end up having to finish whatever he started or make good on his promises of snacks/drinks or whatever..."Mommy will go get it. Tell Mommy." (Don't get me wrong - I know I've probably done that to him enough - but I'm annoyed and it's on my list of reasons why.)
So, he asks me today what our problem is. We haven't been talking much, we haven't cuddled, we haven't laughed, we haven't had sex, we haven't been ourselves. I'd like to say it's been a few days, but it's been more like a little over a week. I don't have an answer, though. I know that it isn't as easy as saying you did this and I didn't like it. I also know that it isn't something that he is just going to be able to fix or that I am just going to be able to get over. Most of all, I know it's mostly due to this pregnancy - and my emotions being all out of whack. I'm tense - tired - stressed and feel spread a little thin these days.
I'm not overly concerned that we won't get through this - in fact, I'm not at all concerned that we won't get through this. I'm just hoping that the end is near because I really miss my husband and I don't like not being able to be in the same room as him without rolling my eyes and huffing a lot.
So - we have been hit with the "bugs" that are going around. Somehow we me managed to get them in back to back weeks. 2 weeks ago (on Wednesday) my children started throwing up - it was around 11 pm. and it continued until about 6 am. DH and I both called off work Thursday because we were exhausted from running a child to the bathroom to puke every half hour. We spent all day Thursday sleeping and I'm not entirely convinced that any of us are back on schedule. I had the stomach thing Tuesday - I didn't really throw up because I wouldn't eat anything. Long story short, I spent most of my time curled up on my bed praying that I would puke so I could feel better - something that previously only happened after too much fun the night before.
So, the next day (Wednesday - one week from when the puking first appeared) we decided to clean. I mean really clean the house. That's when the coughing and hacking and sniffling arrived. Not for me or DH, but for both kids. Danika was the worst and she's still not 100%. She looks so pathetic - but I don't think the doctor would give her anything any way...so I'm not going to spend the $25 copay unless she shows signs of something other than a head cold.
My #1 problem right now (the one I should be dealing with instead of blogging) is that I told my husband that, "Yes, lets move the computer upstairs" the Wednesday the kids got their head colds. This wouldn't have been a problem, but we never finished because Danika was in a "mommy sit and hold me I don't feel good mood". So...now my house is a total and complete wreck. I have no space for stuff and no idea where I'm putting anything. Plus, DH is at work and I can't move anything by myself. Argh - frustrating. I'm hoping this weekend we get it all straightened out because I CAN'T live like this.
So, the next day (Wednesday - one week from when the puking first appeared) we decided to clean. I mean really clean the house. That's when the coughing and hacking and sniffling arrived. Not for me or DH, but for both kids. Danika was the worst and she's still not 100%. She looks so pathetic - but I don't think the doctor would give her anything any way...so I'm not going to spend the $25 copay unless she shows signs of something other than a head cold.
My #1 problem right now (the one I should be dealing with instead of blogging) is that I told my husband that, "Yes, lets move the computer upstairs" the Wednesday the kids got their head colds. This wouldn't have been a problem, but we never finished because Danika was in a "mommy sit and hold me I don't feel good mood". So...now my house is a total and complete wreck. I have no space for stuff and no idea where I'm putting anything. Plus, DH is at work and I can't move anything by myself. Argh - frustrating. I'm hoping this weekend we get it all straightened out because I CAN'T live like this.
In a parallel universe somewhere, I am in the shower after a satisfying day at a job I absolutely love, getting ready to hit the town with friends and have a few too many cocktails and some stimulating adult conversation that will not involve bodily functions or talking animals. In that parallel universe, I am getting ready to dance the night away without a single thought about how early I have to wake up tomorrow because tomorrow is SATURDAY and I never wake up before 11 on a Saturday, in that parallel universe, that is. I'm also still smoking and will probably be smoking close to a pack tonight while dancing and drinking - and not worried about it, in that parallel universe, that is - because it's Friday. In a parallel universe, I will probably pass out from too much of everything tonight around 3 am - but it's no big deal, because (like I said) I'll be sleeping in tomorrow.
In reality, I'm sitting in front of my laptop (having not showered today) with no makeup on, my hair (which is in desperate need of a cut and dye) is pulled up in a bun with those wispy pieces that won't stay put flying away all over the place. I'm waiting for my husband to get home so that I can hear him say, "What did you do all day?" when he sees the state of the house - which I DID clean...but that was like 45 minutes ago and the kids have already trashed it again. So, I will probably not talk to him for at least an hour after he makes the comment. After dinner (which is in the oven already), I will let him clean the kitchen while I sit patiently as my 2 children climb all over me crying and screaming because my lap isn't big enough for both of them at once...at least not anymore. Then, I will fight with them to get them to bed. I will eventually collapse into my own bed only to not be able to fall asleep, even though I know that I will have to wake up at some insanely early hour tomorrow to start the whole process over again.
Sound fun? Of course it does! Much more fun than that parallel universe...I mean who wants to still be doing those things in their 30's? Sometimes I do - sometimes I don't...tonight, I do. I will admit that today is one of those days I miss being single and not a mother. I miss having time to myself. I miss being able to think only about myself. I miss not having to worry about anyone else. I miss having money. I miss talking to adults about things other than my kids. I miss staying out, getting drunk and sleeping in late.
Truth is, I will probably never do those things again. I can't imagine a time when I won't worry about my kids. I can't imagine being able to completely relax ever again. Okay...so I'm being a little over dramatic here, but seriously there are so many things to worry about at every age! Right now I worry about them getting hurt by doing something they didn't know they shouldn't do. Things like diving face first of the couch - which my daughter did on Tuesday night.
Once they get into school I'll have a whole new set of worries. Do they understand what they are learning? Are they smart or stupid? Do other kids like them? Do they have friends? Are other kids nice to them? Are they nice to other kids? Do they listen to the teacher? Are they respectful?
I won't even go on to the worries I'll have as they get even older - okay, maybe a few...Are they doing drugs? Are they hanging out with the right crowd? Are they making smart choices when it comes to sex? Are they wearing their seat belt? Is the driver of the car they are in a good driver? Are they a good driver?
I think that I have officially worked myself into a panic attack.
I'm going to have a glass of wine and eat a bag of Hershey Kisses.
Then when my husband gets home I can tell him I drank a glass of wine and ate a bag of Hershey Kisses today...since he is going to ask anyway.
In reality, I'm sitting in front of my laptop (having not showered today) with no makeup on, my hair (which is in desperate need of a cut and dye) is pulled up in a bun with those wispy pieces that won't stay put flying away all over the place. I'm waiting for my husband to get home so that I can hear him say, "What did you do all day?" when he sees the state of the house - which I DID clean...but that was like 45 minutes ago and the kids have already trashed it again. So, I will probably not talk to him for at least an hour after he makes the comment. After dinner (which is in the oven already), I will let him clean the kitchen while I sit patiently as my 2 children climb all over me crying and screaming because my lap isn't big enough for both of them at once...at least not anymore. Then, I will fight with them to get them to bed. I will eventually collapse into my own bed only to not be able to fall asleep, even though I know that I will have to wake up at some insanely early hour tomorrow to start the whole process over again.
Sound fun? Of course it does! Much more fun than that parallel universe...I mean who wants to still be doing those things in their 30's? Sometimes I do - sometimes I don't...tonight, I do. I will admit that today is one of those days I miss being single and not a mother. I miss having time to myself. I miss being able to think only about myself. I miss not having to worry about anyone else. I miss having money. I miss talking to adults about things other than my kids. I miss staying out, getting drunk and sleeping in late.
Truth is, I will probably never do those things again. I can't imagine a time when I won't worry about my kids. I can't imagine being able to completely relax ever again. Okay...so I'm being a little over dramatic here, but seriously there are so many things to worry about at every age! Right now I worry about them getting hurt by doing something they didn't know they shouldn't do. Things like diving face first of the couch - which my daughter did on Tuesday night.
Once they get into school I'll have a whole new set of worries. Do they understand what they are learning? Are they smart or stupid? Do other kids like them? Do they have friends? Are other kids nice to them? Are they nice to other kids? Do they listen to the teacher? Are they respectful?
I won't even go on to the worries I'll have as they get even older - okay, maybe a few...Are they doing drugs? Are they hanging out with the right crowd? Are they making smart choices when it comes to sex? Are they wearing their seat belt? Is the driver of the car they are in a good driver? Are they a good driver?
I think that I have officially worked myself into a panic attack.
I'm going to have a glass of wine and eat a bag of Hershey Kisses.
Then when my husband gets home I can tell him I drank a glass of wine and ate a bag of Hershey Kisses today...since he is going to ask anyway.
So...notice the time? I'm not sure when I'll be finished with this and have it posted, but I'm starting it at 1:05 am...2 hrs. and 5 mins. AFTER I was suppose to be in bed. I have the perfect person to blame it on, though. My husband - he needs to come to bed so that I can fall asleep. For some reason unknown to me I haven't been able to fall asleep without him in bed for the last 2 years or so...okay, maybe more like 3...ever since Nate was born. Even when he stays out until ridiculous hours thinking he is in college again - and knowing that I'll be the one to get up with the kids in the morning anyway - I can't sleep. Last time it was when I needed to take his Aunt Dee Dee to the airport. I needed to leave the house at 4:45 am to be at his grandmother's for 5:00 am and the airport for 6:00 am. The whole reason that I was taking her instead of him was because he was going drinking with a buddy and would probably be too drunk to drive that early in the morning - the effects of the night before not having worn off yet...little did I know it wasn't the effect of the night before because the night before turned into the morning of and he didn't get home until 3:30 am!
So that this doesn't sound like I'm totally bashing my husband - he did make me breakfast before I left...which was really yummy . . . but I didn't sleep at all before going down to the airport. Which made the whole trip rather surreal. Like I was driving underwater the whole time or something. It didn't help that it was pitch black out. Or that I was driving his truck and not my Escape because my Escape was having 'issues'.
Tonight I am not sleeping because my husband is "stuck" on a certain board on his stupid Lego Star Wars game for Wii...he just quit and is now turning out all the lights because I should follow him like a little puppy who is thrilled her master is home...finally. Oddly enough, that's what I'm going to do. Not because he is beconing, but because I'm damn tired...and I have to work tomorrow. UGH.
So that this doesn't sound like I'm totally bashing my husband - he did make me breakfast before I left...which was really yummy . . . but I didn't sleep at all before going down to the airport. Which made the whole trip rather surreal. Like I was driving underwater the whole time or something. It didn't help that it was pitch black out. Or that I was driving his truck and not my Escape because my Escape was having 'issues'.
Tonight I am not sleeping because my husband is "stuck" on a certain board on his stupid Lego Star Wars game for Wii...he just quit and is now turning out all the lights because I should follow him like a little puppy who is thrilled her master is home...finally. Oddly enough, that's what I'm going to do. Not because he is beconing, but because I'm damn tired...and I have to work tomorrow. UGH.
So - a while ago Beth, @ so the fish said, wrote this post going over the books that she has read this year. I've been a big fan (mostly in the closet) of Beth's blog for some time now and I love to read so I actually really enjoyed the post. I even went so far as to suggest "The Memory of Running" to our book club - and it's January's selection! ;)
Inspired by Beth, I went back and looked at the books I've read in 2008. My list isn't nearly as long or exciting as Beth's...and most of them were for book club. I will add that I was getting my Master's Degree this semester - so that kind of threw a big old wrench in how much time I had to read for pleasure.
For One More Day - Mitch Albom
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Tallgrass - Sandra Dallas
Angry Housewives Eating BonBons - Lorna Landvik
The House of Sand and Fog - Andre Dubus III
The Saving Graces - Patricia Gaffney
Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn - Stephanie Meyers
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch - Gregory Maguire
A Million Little Pieces - James Frey
High Noon - Nora Roberts
Currently, I'm reading Eat...Pray...Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Memory of Running by Ron Mclarty.
I also saw that they are making a movie of Eat...Pray...Love and have cast Julia Roberts as Elizabeth. Hmmm....interesting.
As a side note - can anyone explain to me why it is easier on the mornings my husband is working rather than the mornings he's home? You would think that he would help out...but all he really does is irritate me by asking me where things are and giving me extra things to get done when I'm trying to do my thing. It's just one of those mornings - so I thought I'd ask if I'm the only one who feels this way.
Inspired by Beth, I went back and looked at the books I've read in 2008. My list isn't nearly as long or exciting as Beth's...and most of them were for book club. I will add that I was getting my Master's Degree this semester - so that kind of threw a big old wrench in how much time I had to read for pleasure.
For One More Day - Mitch Albom
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Tallgrass - Sandra Dallas
Angry Housewives Eating BonBons - Lorna Landvik
The House of Sand and Fog - Andre Dubus III
The Saving Graces - Patricia Gaffney
Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn - Stephanie Meyers
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch - Gregory Maguire
A Million Little Pieces - James Frey
High Noon - Nora Roberts
Currently, I'm reading Eat...Pray...Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and The Memory of Running by Ron Mclarty.
I also saw that they are making a movie of Eat...Pray...Love and have cast Julia Roberts as Elizabeth. Hmmm....interesting.
As a side note - can anyone explain to me why it is easier on the mornings my husband is working rather than the mornings he's home? You would think that he would help out...but all he really does is irritate me by asking me where things are and giving me extra things to get done when I'm trying to do my thing. It's just one of those mornings - so I thought I'd ask if I'm the only one who feels this way.
